


The Road Home

by scrappylittlegleek



Category: Supergirl (Comics), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Lena Luthor Doesn't Know Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Single Parent Kara Danvers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, domestic supercorp, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:15:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 49,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24290407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrappylittlegleek/pseuds/scrappylittlegleek
Summary: The one where Lena Luthor falls in love with her assistant, Kara, a Kryptonian single mother.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 625
Kudos: 2153





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to post this, it's literally in my google docs for months under the name "secret Lydia au" so it feels really weird knowing that other people are going to read it. But I think we could all use some fluff and a soft fic right now, so I'm impulsively posting it. I hope you all like it :)

“Miss. Luthor, hi, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Kara anxiously adjusted her glasses as she set down the coffee on her bosses desk that was supposed to have been delivered fifteen minutes ago. 

“All the trains were delayed and my sitter didn’t show up on time, so Lydia thought I was staying home with her and when she realized I wasn’t, she threw a huge tantrum and it took so long to get her to calm down. And then your normal coffee place was closed because of--” 

“Kara, it’s okay, breathe,” Lena stood up and held out a hand, gesturing for her to calm down. “It’s alright, things happen.” 

Kara released a sigh of relief and dropped her shoulders, feeling a large weight lift from on top of them. She’d only been hired two weeks ago and she was sure this screw up would mean the end of her career. Though her boss may not have been as ruthless and cold cutting as she’d been described in all the tabloids and news outlets, Kara knew Lena liked keeping a firm schedule. She hated when things were out of her control and she absolutely couldn’t stand inexcusable sloppiness from her employees. So to say Kara was relieved Lena wasn’t at least a little bit angry would be the understatement of the year. 

“Is everything okay-- with the sitter I mean?” Lena asked, raising a concerned eyebrow. 

“Yeah,” Kara replied with a nod. “Lydia’s still getting used to not having me around all the time but she’s starting to adjust. This morning was just rough because she got her hopes up and she got upset when she realized I wasn’t staying home with her.” 

Lena offered a sympathetic smile. “Well, if you need anything, just let me know.” 

“Thanks,” Kara said, unable to contain her excited but confused smile. Definitely not the reaction she’d been preparing herself for. 

“I guess I should get back to my desk then,” she awkwardly pointed, to which Lena nodded once more, the kind smile never leaving her lips for a second. 

As she took her seat down at her desk, she adjusted the framed photo of her and Lydia on Lydia’s second birthday and tried to regroup. The day had barely started and already she was filled with anxiety over all the other things that could possibly go wrong. If she screwed up again, she was positive Lena would be much less forgiving. She had a company to run, she couldn’t be bothered to compensate for her new subpar assistant. Even if it was because said assistant was struggling to balance single motherhood with a new job. She had things to do and places to be, Kara couldn’t be holding her down the way she’d already been doing. 

Turning on her computer, Kara took a deep breath and logged into her company account. She could make it through the day. Lena, though firm, was nice enough. If she didn’t have any more slip-ups then everything would be fine. She would keep it together long enough to finish out the workday and go home to her daughter, by whom she was loved unconditionally. She could do it. She knew she could. She just had to keep it together. 

In the other room, Lena sat stiffly at her desk, turning the gold bead on her necklace between her thumb and index finger, rerunning the interaction in her head on a loop. 

Should she have been harsher? She should’ve been more rigid. Lillian would’ve told her to put her foot down and hold her ground instead of just taking her excuse with a smile. 

After what happened with her last assistant, Lena should’ve been able to stand up and firmly say that latenesses weren’t tolerated. It’s what she’d been taught to do, it’s how she was trained to run the company. 

If she’d listened better the first time around, she wouldn’t have to worry about it now. She wouldn’t have let her guard down and she wouldn’t have been stabbed in the back. And if none of that had happened, she wouldn’t have sat at her desk for almost half an hour, staring blankly at her computer instead of working because all she could think about was how she should’ve been able to set solid ground rules for her employees. 

“Miss. Luthor?” 

Lena’s head snapped up at the sound of Kara’s voice calling her name through her office doorway. 

“Yeah?” 

“A reporter from CatCo is here, he wants a quote about your stance on the alien amnesty act.” 

“Send him in,” Lena said. “And please, call me Lena. Miss. Luthor makes me feel old.” 

Kara nodded. “Will do.” 

* * *

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind, I got you a bagel.” 

“What?” 

“Oh I-- well the coffee cart outside apparently sells pastries, did you know that? So I got lunch for myself and I noticed you didn’t buy yourself lunch-- unless you brought something with you, then I can throw it away but…” Kara paused, trying to remember her train of thought. “Yeah… I got you a bagel.” 

Lena smiled warmly, unsure of what to say to that. She’d never had an employee go out on a limb like that for her. She hadn’t had anyone go out of their way to do something that kind, even if it was something small and simple like lunch from the coffee cart. 

“Thank you, that’s really nice of you,” she decided on. 

“Of course, I just-- I noticed you hadn’t really been eating lunch lately, so I thought  _ why not, _ you know?” 

Kara nervously walked over to Lena’s desk and placed the brown paper bag down in front of her. And just as Lena was about to thank her again, Kara turned on her heel to leave. 

“Do you want to eat in here?” Lena couldn’t stop herself from blurting out. 

Kara quickly turned back around. “Hm?” 

Lena rubbed her collar bone as she tried to find a way to make her offer not to sound weirdly overbearing or creepy. 

“There isn’t really anyone else on this floor and you went out of your way for me and I’d feel bad about making you eat alone. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

This time, it was Kara’s turn to be left speechless. After all,  _ the _ Lena Luthor; genius, billionaire, and literal icon (at least in Kara’s mind) was asking if she’d want to eat lunch together. This was the woman with a stance so powerful, Kara literally got the chills every time they made eye contact. It was like the adult equivalent of being asked to sit with the popular girls in the high school cafeteria-- only a million times more exciting. 

“Yes!” Kara responded with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. “I mean yes, I’d love to sit with you.” 

Lena tried to contain her happiness as she gestured to the seat across from her desk. 

“So, how did it go with the reporter?” 

Lena shrugged. She picked at her bagel and bit down on the inside of her mouth. “It was fine. I mean, I’m sure he’s going to twist my words into whatever fits the narrative he wants to tell, but it’s whatever,” she said with a dry chuckle. 

“You’re not mad?” Kara asked. This was  _ Lena Luthor, _ she didn’t just take it with a grin and bear it when someone did her wrong. She was stronger than that, it was what made her so intimidating yet so incredible. 

“I’m used to it,” Lena said with a nonchalance that Kara just couldn’t understand. “I’m a Luthor, people are going to hear what they want to hear. And those who don’t just mindlessly believe everything they read in magazines. I mean, if they think CatCo articles are a reliable source of news, I have nothing to be offended by.”

“So you really just… you don’t care what he says?” 

“People are always going to disagree with you, they’re always going to want to make you out to be some sort of villain. If I let every person who had a bad word to say about me affect me I wouldn’t be where I am now.” 

Kara nodded. “I get that,” she said softly. “It’s… it’s really respectable.” 

“Thank you,” Lena smiled and ducked her head sheepishly. “Anyways… I’d rather not think about all the ways the media’s going to turn me into some sort of monster...”

“--oh my God, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Kara quickly interjected, to which Lena shook her head and brushed it off as if it were nothing. 

“It’s fine, let’s just talk about something else. Do you have any cute baby pictures?” Lena asked. 

“Yes, of course!” Kara exclaimed and fumbled for her phone in her pocket before pulling up an adorable photo of her daughter sitting on a kitchen table, covered in flour, proudly holding up a wooden spoon and smiling from ear to ear. 

“We were baking cookies and she wanted to help by opening the flour without telling me, but the bag exploded and it got everywhere,” Kara said with a chuckle. Unfortunately, she still hadn’t managed to clean up all of it (bits of flour kept appearing every time she thought it was all gone), but the picture was cute and the cookies had turned out just as good as the ones her mom made, which was enough for Kara. 

“She’s so precious,” Lena grinned. “And she looks just like you.”

Kara blushed. “Thank you.” 

“Oh-- this one’s one of my favorites,” she said, showing Lena another photo. This time it was of Lydia in one of the bucket swings at the playground. She had her arms up in the air, hands in fists, and her nose scrunched up in focus. 

“She wants to be a superhero when she grows up,” Kara explained. “This is her Supergirl face.” 

“I think she’d make a great superhero,” Lena said, grinning from ear to ear. She looked at the picture once more than glanced back up at Kara, who was going on about how Lydia’s been trying to teach herself to fly by jumping off the coffee table when she wasn’t looking and she was terrified one day she’d crack her head open.

She’d told herself she wouldn’t be a soft CEO, but now that seemed like it was going to be pretty impossible. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has to bring Lydia into work with her, and she manages to steal Lena's heart after two interactions. Lena also reveals the new tech she's about to release to Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter so much, mostly because Lydia owns my heart and I'm so soft for supercorp with a baby. I really hope you guys like it :)

“Lyds, come here baby,” Kara held out a white dress patterned with strawberries out for her daughter, who toddled towards her. 

“Arms up,” she instructed as she pulled the dress over Lydia’s head. 

As soon as it was on, Lydia tried to squirm away from her mom and get back to her train set, but Kara pulled her into her lap instead. 

“Okay, I’m gonna talk to you for a second,” she said and smoothed out Lydia’s soft blonde hair with the palm of her hand. “You’re coming to work with me today.” 

“I am?” Lydia responded with a big grin. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna come to my office,” Kara nodded. “But do you know what that means?” 

Lydia shook her head.

“You have to be on your best behavior, you know why?” 

She shook her head once more. 

“Because my boss is being _very_ nice to me by letting me take you in today. And I don’t want to get into trouble because she’s really cool and I get to have a lot of fun working for her, so you have to be as good as you can possibly be,” Kara explained. 

Taking Lydia in with her probably wasn’t the smartest idea in the world, Kara knew this. But their regular sitter had the flu and Kara had only been at L Corp for a few weeks and she didn’t want to give up one of her sick days just yet. So when Lena had told her she wouldn’t mind if she brought Lydia in just this once, Kara had to take advantage of that opportunity-- something her former boss would’ve _never_ allowed. So yes, it was risky to bring her two-year-old into the office, but it was something she was willing to try.

“Are you going to be good for me?” 

“Yeah, and say please and thank you,” Lydia added, to which Kara nodded with a chuckle. 

“Well yes, you should always say please and thank you, but especially today.” 

“Now, how good are you gonna be?” 

“This good!” Lydia exclaimed and held out her chubby arms as wide as they could reach. And of course, Kara being Kara, took that as an opportunity to pull her into a hug and tickle her belly, making Lydia giggle in delight. There was nothing in this world Kara loved more than hearing the sound of her daughters larger than life laughter. 

“Then we have nothing to worry about.”

* * *

Lena stepped into the elevator, her eyes glued to her phone as she reviewed the email one of L Corps investors had sent her, threatening to cut ties with her company if she didn’t continue to uphold the rest of her family's anti-alien stance. Just the thought of having to defend herself to him and make herself seem worthy of their money made her want to vomit. Unfortunately, though, she knew she may very well have to do just that, as now that Lillian and Lex were no longer on the board, L Corp needed all the support it could get. Even if it was from xenophobic assholes whose heads were so far up their asses that they couldn’t see the horrific crimes her family had committed that had made her want to completely separate herself and L Corp from them in the first place. 

“Hey!” 

Lena looked up from her screen at the sound of a cheery voice and smiled when she saw Kara standing in the elevator behind her. 

“Goodmorning, Miss. Danvers.” 

Kara tilted her head. “If I’m calling you Lena--”

“Kara it is,” Lena finished for her.

“Oh-- here’s your latte,” Kara said and handed over a tall cup of coffee, which Lena graciously accepted. 

“Thank you,” Lena said, the appreciation in her voice making it sound like Kara had lifted the sky for her. 

“And who might this be?” She asked upon noticing the little blonde girl with the yellow ladybug backpack, who had her hand tightly wrapped around Kara’s.

“This is Lydia,” Kara said. And as if on cue, Lydia hid behind her mom's legs.

“I’m sorry, she normally isn’t this shy.”

“It’s alright,” Lena brushed it off just as the elevator doors opened and the three of them stepped out. “Everyone gets a little shy sometimes.” 

She knelt down beside her daughter and smoothed out her dress, offering her a reassuring smile. “Can you say _hi Lena_?” 

Lydia slowly turned around and looked up at the tall woman in front of her. She mustered a small _hello,_ which Kara was satisfied with. 

“Hi,” Lena smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“She’s gonna be doing some very important work today, right Lil’ bug?” Kara asked and Lydia nodded bashfully. 

“I have business pages,” she said quietly. 

“That does sound very important,” Lena agreed, even though she wasn’t quite sure what the toddler was talking about. 

The elevator doors opened and Kara lifted Lydia up, balancing the toddler on her hip. They stepped into the hall, Kara, and Lena both making their way to their respective offices. Kara helped Lydia up to the armchair across from her desk and gave her her very serious business papers (a Disney princess coloring book) and a sixty-four pack of crayons. She opened her laptop, pulling up her own work for the day and glanced over at her daughter through the corner of her eye. 

She’d been very apprehensive about it before, but now part of her wished Lydia could come to the office with her every day.

* * *

Kara stared at her laptop screen, her eyes hanging heavy with exhaustion. The world seemed just a little fuzzy today, probably from all the flying back and forth between her office and saving careless people who put themselves in the stupidest types of danger. And having Lydia at her desk, she’d quickly realized, certainly wasn’t doing anything to help. 

Luckily, she was old enough to not freak out every time she saw her mom fly out the window and young enough that she was easily entertained so Kara wouldn’t have to worry about her getting too far out of her sight when she left. But that didn’t mean knowing her daughter was there didn’t add to her heaps of exhaustion. And being so focused on trying not to fall asleep at the sight of her boss's schedule (the one she was supposed to be rearranging), she didn’t notice Lydia quietly slip away from her. 

On the other side of the hall, Lena looked up at the sound of her door being pushed open, expecting to see her assistant standing outside. She stood up, a puzzled look crossing her face as she examined the room, making sure she wasn’t losing her mind because as far as she could tell, there was nobody in her room. 

The door closed with a thud, followed by the sound of a surprised squeal. It was only then that she looked down to see the toddler at the other end of her office, shining a wide toothy grin up at her. 

“Hey,” Lena said and awkwardly waved, unsure of how to properly communicate with the tiny human in front of her. 

Lydia reached her hands up and bounced on her toes, a gesture Kara was probably very familiar with but one that was brand new to Lena. 

“What do you want, sweetie?” Lena asked as kindly as she could, hoping Lydia was old enough to give a proper response. 

“Up!” The little girl cried happily and bounced on her toes once more. 

“Alright…” 

Lena slowly walked over to the child and tentatively held her arms out, wrapping her hands around each side of Lydia’s tiny stomach. Then as carefully as she could, she lifted the little girl up and held her on her hip the way she’d seen Kara do earlier that morning. 

Having Lydia in her arms, she wasn’t sure if she should return her to her mom, or give Kara a well-deserved break. Admittedly, she did want to run from the situation since she had absolutely no idea how to act in front of someone as young and impressionable as Lydia. But even though holding her felt strange and uncomfortable, Lena was just as terrified that if she put her down now, Lydia might start crying and she wouldn’t be able to get her to stop. So she held her and stiffly shifted her weight between her legs in the ways she’d seen mothers do when they held their children. 

“Lena?” Lydia asked; though it sounded much more like _Wena._

“Yeah?” 

“I’m hungry,” Lydia said and rested her head on Lena’s shoulder. She smiled so sweetly in a way that made Lena hold her breath and get tense all over because _holy shit the child is so adorable and she has no idea how to handle a person this little._

“I think your Mom packed you a lunch.” 

“Is in my tummy,” Lydia said with a pout, rubbing her stomach for emphasis. “Do you have snacks?” 

“Oh.” Lena paused to think. She had a small container of fruit that she’d been planning on eating for her own lunch, but something about Lydia’s big eyes and sad face made her feel like maybe she could afford to skip lunch today. It wasn’t like she ate anything at all for lunch most days anyway. 

“Do you want some grapes?” 

Lydia nodded, the smile returning to her face almost immediately. 

“Okay! Do you wanna sit in my big chair while I go get them?” Lena suggested, gesturing to her desk chair, to which Lydia clapped her hands. 

“Alright,” Lena said and carefully set the toddler down before going to retrieve her bag from off her couch. She wasn’t sure how, but Lydia already had her wrapped around her grubby little finger. 

It took Kara much longer than she would’ve cared to admit to realize her daughter was missing, despite all of her enhanced senses. And when she finally did notice she was gone, she was much too panicked to remember how to get her hearing or x-ray vision to work. So she did the next best thing and burst into Lena’s office with the intention of explaining her predicament before running off to find her daughter. But she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the CEO sitting at her desk with Lydia snug on her lap, eating chopped up grapes while the _Baby Shark_ song played from Lena’s laptop. 

“Hey, you have my kid,” Kara blurted out. 

“Yeah,” Lena said with a chuckle. “I hope you don’t mind, she wandered in here and told me she was hungry so I gave her a snack, and now she’s showing me her favorite video. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was with me.” 

“It’s alright, I just-- this wasn’t what I expected,” Kara admitted. 

“Hi, Mama,” Lydia said, looking up from the computer to grin and wave at her very stunned mother. “Lena feds me grapes!” 

“I can see that, did you say thank you?” 

Lydia turned back to Lena and wrapped her tiny arms around her new friend, hugging her as best she could. “Thank you, Lena,” she said, the sound absolutely melting Lena’s heart. 

“You’re very welcome,” Lena said and gently hugged Lydia back. 

“I’m so sorry if she was bothering you,” Kara apologized as soon as she realized what an inconvenience this must’ve been. Lena had heaps of work to be doing, she didn’t need to be babysitting _her_ kid in addition to it all. “I swear she just slipped out of my sight for a second-- I’m normally much more on top of her.” 

“Oh, she’s no trouble at all,” Lena brushed it off. “She’s adorable, and we had a great time together, right Lydia?” 

Lydia nodded. “Yeah!” 

“Well, I’m glad she wasn’t too much trouble then,” Kara said as she lifted up Lydia so Lena could get back to her work. 

“Actually, while I have you here, there’s something we need to discuss,” Lena said, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. Kara nodded and took a seat, absentmindedly twirling one of Lydia’s pigtails around her finger. 

“I want to schedule a press conference for the Thursday two weeks from now. I’m releasing some new tech and I want to address the public before it hits the markets,” Lena explained. 

“Oh, okay. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you releasing?” 

Lena smiled as she stood up. She went to retrieve a small device from one of her shelves then made her way back over to Kara and held it out in front of her so Kara could get a good look. 

“It’s an alien detection device,” she explained. “If you put your finger on it, it’ll turn green to signify you’re a human. If you’re not, it’ll turn red.”

Kara shifted her weight and swallowed thickly. “Interesting,” was all she could manage to say. Lydia then held out her arm to reach for the device, the shiny silver color drawing her attention. As discreetly as she could, Kara tightened her grip on her daughter and gently pulled Lydia’s arm back. She couldn’t risk her getting her hands on it. 

“So, what do you think?” Lena asked hopefully. 

“I… I don’t know,” Kara said honestly. It wasn’t until the words had already left her mouth that she backtracked and realized her opinions very well may get her fired. But Lena was looking at her as if she expected a response, and it wasn’t like she could just pretend she loved it now that her apprehension was clear. So she drew in a breath and tried to formulate something that wouldn’t cost her her job. 

“I just mean that from our conversations and the direction you want this company to go in, I’m not sure if this is the right move,” she explained. “You’ve declared a pro-alien stance but this kind of thing might make people kind of… weary.” 

Lena put the device back on her desk. She folded her arms over her chest, carefully taking in Kara’s words. “I hear you, but I don’t think that selling this necessarily means I have anything against them. I just believe that we as humans have a right to know who among us is really one of us.”

Kara nodded. “I guess that’s understandable.” 

“So, the press conference?” Lena said, getting them back on track. 

“I’ll make the arrangements now.”

“Thank you,” Lena smiled as Kara got up, still holding Lydia, who was starting to fuss from the lack of attention she’d been getting. 

Kara calmly shushed her daughter and kissed her on the forehead as she left Lena’s office. It was weird, hearing about Lena’s new device. She supposed it did make sense on some level; Lena wasn’t going to stray completely from the views she’d been brought up with the minute she took over the company, even if she’d abandoned the core principles her parents had taught her. Maybe she just needed some time. Kara believed she had it in her. Lena was passionate about doing good, she just needed some perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and feedback is greatly appreciated <3  
> And chapter 3 will be up soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena holds a press conference to announce her alien detection device when surprise surprise, there is an attempt on her life. Kara does her best to take care of her after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot even begin to explain how much I hate the majority of this chapter but it's all good :)

Kara touched down on the DEO balcony, holding Lydia snug on her hip. She was curled up under Kara’s cape, her head resting on Kara’s chest, fast asleep. 

Kara made her way down the steps and over to Alex, who was standing at the bottom of the staircase waiting for her. She had her serious face on, which meant she was either expecting to hear an update from Kara on one of their current cases, or she was getting ready to give her bad news. Kara sincerely hoped it was the former. 

“Hey, we need to talk about Lena,” she said quietly as to not wake Lydia up. 

Alex folded her arms over her chest. “What is it?” 

“I don’t think we need to be too worried. But she’s come up with this new alien detection device thing. It’s an immediate problem but if I keep sneaking around like I have been and she asks me to use the device, she might figure it out,” Kara explained. 

Alex shook her head and scoffed. “I always knew I didn’t trust her.”

They began the walk to the break room, where they would get a snack for Lydia, who was inevitably woken up by the sound of scattered voices and footsteps, before heading to the conference room to meet with J’onn. 

“Kara, I know you just started working there but if she tries that device on you… let’s face it, everyone would know you’re Supergirl within minutes,” Alex said. “I really think you should keep your distance.”

“How am I supposed to keep my distance? I’m her assistant,” Kara asked. 

Alex didn’t have to say anything for her to know the answer. She just tilted her head and gave her the look she’d been giving ever since they were teenagers when she had bad news that she didn’t have the heart to break aloud. 

“I’m not gonna quit,” Kara said firmly. She pushed open the door to the break room and let Lydia sit on one of the counters while she took a Tupperware of blueberries out of the fridge. “Besides, Lydia already loves her so I can’t.” 

Lydia nodded and extended her arms for the container. “I love boobies,” she said. 

Alex snickered at her pronunciation of  _ blueberries _ and Kara nodded stoutly. 

“She’s a little confused, but she does like Lena,” she stated. “And I know you don’t trust her but I do. She has the right ideas, she just messes up with the follow-through sometimes.” 

“Yeah, well actions speak louder than words. So does history.” 

“I know that but I… she’s not like her family,” Kara insisted. She put her hands on her hips, her power stance that gave her Supergirl’s confidence when she struggled to feel like anything more than Kara Danvers. 

She knew she was right. Lena wasn’t perfect, she still needed to learn. But she’d listened when Kara voiced her concerns, she’d cared about what she’d had to say even though she’s only her assistant and knows nothing about the kind of technology Lena works with. And she’d seen the way Lena held Lydia and let her stay in her office, even though she didn’t have to. She was good, or at least she wanted to be. Wasn’t that enough to believe that her actions could change? 

“Look, I know I’ve only been working with her a few weeks but give it time. I really think she’s different,” Kara said. “And you were the one who told me to apply for the job anyway.” 

“Yeah, because I wanted you to keep an eye on her. But I realize now, it might’ve been a mistake.” 

Kara paused. Alex hated admitting when she was wrong, especially when it came to her little sister, who would always use it as an excuse to tease her. 

“Well, I don’t think it was,” Kara lifted her chin. “I think it’s a great opportunity for both of us.” 

Alex sighed. “I hope you’re right. But we still have to take precautions so she doesn’t figure out who you really are.” 

Kara bit her lip. Alex was  _ really _ not going to like what she was going to say next. 

“What if we were just honest with her?” 

“What?”

“Not now, but eventually,” Kara suggested. “The best way for people to learn is through compassion. If she knew maybe she knew maybe she’d be more understanding. I know she has it in her, she just needs a friend to help her.” 

Alex sighed. “Kara, you’ve always seen the best in people, and I’ve always admired that about you. I just really think I’m right this time.”

“Fine.” 

* * *

“God, I hate these things,” Lena muttered as she smoothed out her skirt. 

In a few moments, she would step onto the stage in front of hundreds of reporters, most of whom had quite a few bones to pick with her family. They’d wait for her to fumble and mess up or give them another reason to antagonize her in the papers. The thought of having to force herself through another press conference made her feel sick to her stomach. But this was better than the alternative, which would be to simply release a statement about the device and hope for the best. Going the seemingly simple route never worked. Lena learned this the hard way. 

She drew in a breath and held onto the staircase railing to the left-hand side of the stage. She could see Kara standing towards the front of the crowd. Kara had tried to stay back with her but Lena insisted she’d be alright on her own and wanted Kara to watch so she could get honest feedback on how she did. After all, if she screwed up, she’d rather hear it from Kara, who would be sure to remind her of all her strong points too. 

Kara gave Lena a thumbs up from where she stood in the audience and Lena smiled, reminding herself that she could do this. She’d done it a million times before and she could do it again. 

As she stepped onto the stage, the camera’s immediately began to flash. She smiled as she walked to the podium, laying her hands on the surface in front of her and pointing her chin up to show her confidence. 

“Good morning National City,” Lena began. “I have the pleasure of speaking for all of you today in regards to a new piece of technology L Corp will be releasing this coming month.” 

She cleared her throat and smiled, glancing back at Kara. “As I’m sure you all know, my objective with LabCorp has always been to turn it into a force for good.”

Kara rubbed the back of her neck as she looked around the audience. There was a far off buzzing noise she couldn’t ignore but nobody else seemed to notice. The park was large and full of weird sounds, but something in her gut told her not to ignore it. She discreetly shot a text to Alex, who was helping monitor the event and looked around the area for any obstructions someone might use to hide behind. 

“The technology we’re working on, I believe--” 

And that was when she saw it, a drone flying above the park, pointed directly at Lena. Before she could even begin her next sentence, Kara ran off, changing into her suit faster than she ever had before and flying up towards the drone. 

It fired multiple times, the bullets bouncing against her chest before quickly flying out of her sight. Screams erupted from the crowd as she chased it, the sound of more bullets firing echoing through the sky. 

Through her peripheral vision, she saw Lena freeze with fear. She knew she had to stop the drone first, but all she wanted to do was fly her boss to safety before anything could happen to her. 

_Kara, I think_ _I have an eye on the shooter,_ Alex’s voice rang out in her earpiece. 

“Great, you get him and I’ll stop the drone,” Kara said and looked back down at the park below. 

Most of the audience had scattered, pedestrians were still screaming as more shots erupted. She could see Lena, who was now running with no direction as the drone flew back into her view. 

She sped up as she soared after it, throwing her hands out and grabbing it, crumbling it into pieces as she touched down on the ground. 

“Supergirl,” Lena gasped, placing a hand over her rapidly beating heart. “Thank you!”

Kara smiled, dropping the pieces of broken metal to the ground as if it were nothing. 

_ We have one suspect surrounded but there’s reason to believe there might be more, _ Alex updated her. 

“I need to get you out of here, you don’t get airsick right?”

Lena shook her head and Kara lifted her off the ground and held her in a bridal carry. 

“Ready?” 

Lena enclosed her arms around Supergirls neck and closed her eyes as they took off, flying away to the safest place Kara could think of at the moment. 

* * *

Lena wrapped her arms around herself as she slowly sat down on one of the park benches. The immediate threat was gone and everyone had pretty much cleared out. Now all she had to do was drag herself back to her office so she could issue an apology. She’d see if anyone was hurt and try to personally contact them to see if she could pay for their medical bills. Then she’d write personal apologies to them and their families. It was the least she could do. 

But even though she knew she was indebted to the bystanders who’d fallen victim to the attack, she couldn’t seem to get herself to move. The voices in her head were screaming, telling her to do something, anything to help. She’d caused this whole mess and now she had to fix it. 

However, even as they grew louder and louder, competing with the sound of the bullets firing which echoed in Lena’s mind, she was frozen. The noise just seemed to push her further into the ground. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t fight back, she was weak. Just like she’d always been. 

She sighed and closed her eyes, kicking herself for being this way. 

“Hey,” the voice, though soft, startled her as she looked up. The sight of Kara standing in front of her made her want to crumble to pieces. Kara came all the way to the other side of the park to find her after a disaster  _ she’d  _ caused, she didn’t deserve this. 

“I was looking for you everywhere,” Kara said. “Do you mind if I sit?” 

Lena nodded and Kara took a seat beside her. She stared straight ahead, unable to look her assistant in the eye and focused on a crooked tree bent so far that it looked like if the wind blew too hard, it might just fall over. 

“I was looking for you too, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, Supergirl came just in time.”

Lena cleared her throat and folded her hands together, pressing her nails deep down into her palm. “I’m sorry. If I’d known…” her voice trailed off as a lump rose to the top of her throat. 

She’d put so many people in danger. She’d put Kara’s life at risk. Kara, who had an innocent toddler to get home to. She was that little girl's whole world and Lena’s wreck of a press conference could’ve killed her. 

“There was no way for you to know,” Kara said softly. “You did everything right.”

Lena shook her head. “So many people could’ve been hurt,” she said, her voice breaking. “And it would’ve been all my fault.”

“Lena, this couldn’t have been your fault.”

Lena sniffled and looked down at her lap. She didn’t even bother trying to stop her tears, she knew there was no use. She opened up her hands and carefully examined them, repeating the words over and over in her head. 

She did this, she was responsible, and she was going to have to live the rest of her life knowing this. 

“You’re shaking,” Kara observed.

“I’m fine.” 

“No you’re not,” Kara placed a hand on Lena’s knee and smiled sadly. “And that’s okay, you’re allowed to be upset after what happened.” 

“But it was my fault, Kara,” Lena insisted, a sob she’d been trying to push back escaping her lips. “All of it is  _ my _ fault. I put you in danger-- I put everyone in danger.” 

“I know you don’t believe me, but it wasn’t,” Kara said softly but firmly. “And even if it was, Supergirl caught the guy who staged the attack. He’s in custody now, he can’t hurt you or anyone else.” 

Lena furrowed her brow. She trusted Kara but that didn’t seem believable. It couldn’t be that simple, it never was. Right now though, she didn’t have the energy to argue. She’d figure it out once was back in her office. Once she was alone.

“We probably shouldn’t stay here, though,” Kara thought aloud. The police were still on the scene, finding evidence and talking to witnesses. Lena hadn’t given a statement yet and Kara knew the last thing she needed was for an officer to come over and start interrogating her. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” She offered. 

Lena shook her head. “I just want to go back to my office.” 

Kara sighed. “I know, but don’t you think you should take a break? It might help to just relax tonight, you know, try to clear your mind before you go back.” 

Lena let out a dry chuckle and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to be doing much relaxing tonight.” 

Kara drew in a breath and sat up straight. “Do you want to come back to my apartment then?” She suggested. 

Lena looked up at her, making eye contact for the first time since Kara found her. 

“You don’t have to, but it might help take your mind off things,” Kara said, smiling nervously. “Lydia just got a kitchen set so I promised her we could play house, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind serving one more person.” 

Lena hesitated, trying to figure out whether or not Kara was joking. It didn’t seem real but Kara’s smile did and the way she stayed with her even though she was to blame for the whole fiasco was real too. Lena wasn’t quite sure what to make of it but eventually, she said yes, hoping that trusting her gut had been the right thing to do.

* * *

“That’s fifty dollars,” Lydia handed Kara a plastic plate with a piece of toy bread and lettuce. 

Kara’s jaw dropped in pretend shock as she took the plate from her daughter. “Fifty dollars?” She repeated. “And I don’t even get a drink?”

Lydia nodded. 

“You drive a hard bargain little miss.” 

Lydia giggled and toddled back off to her kitchen set while Kara looked back at Lena. She smiled and set Lydia’s toy on her lap.

“The prices are insane, but I promise, the food’s totally worth it,” she said. 

Lena gave a small smile and pulled her legs close to her chest. “The head chef is very talented.”

“Thank you, I made her myself,” Kara remarked and they both laughed. “I can order non-plastic dinner if you’re hungry.”

“I’m alright, but you should order if you want.” 

Kara nodded and grabbed her phone from off the coffee table. While she looked for a restaurant, Lydia ran back over to them with a picture book in her hand and climbed up onto the space on the sofa in between them. 

She reached for the blanket Lena was using and gave it a tug. Lena smiled and covered her little legs. Once she was under the blanket, Lydia handed the book to Lena without saying anything. 

“Do you want me to read it?” Lena asked. 

Lydia nodded and tapped her knee. 

“That means she wants to sit on your lap,” Kara said when she saw Lena’s puzzled expression. 

“Oh.” 

Lena untucked her legs and Lydia crawled onto her lap, pulling the blanket up to her stomach and leaning back against Lena’s chest so she could see the pages.

“It’s called the  _ Little Engine That Could _ ,” Lydia said. 

She focused very hard as Lena read to her, pointing to her favorite pictures to ask Lena questions about the different trains or tell her how she rode on the Subway once but it wasn’t like the trains in the book. It was truly an experience seeing how Lydia could relate the story to how she liked to play airplane with Kara. By the time they finished, Lydia was completely curled up against Lena with her thumb in her mouth, eyelids drooping, and half asleep. 

“You’re really good with her,” Kara said softly and reached out to rub her daughter’s back. 

Lena looked down at Lydia and smiled. Holding the little girl still made her nervous but it was starting to feel easier. And Lydia did seem to like her. Even if the attack had been her fault, maybe she was still good enough for her affection. 

Lena bit her lip as she felt her eyes fill with tears once more. She’d almost been able to forget about what happened. But now it felt like she was right back where she started. 

“We can read another one?” Lydia asked, smiling hopefully. 

Lena cleared her throat and nodded. “Of course.”

Lydia grinned, all her energy returning, and hopped off of Lena’s lap, running off to find another book. 

Lena leaned back against the sofa and exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. 

“You don’t have to keep reading to her,” Kara said. “I know she can kind of be a lot.” 

Lena shook her head. “No, she’s fine, I don’t mind it.”

“Are you sure? She should be getting to bed soon anyway so I can tuck her in now if that makes things easier.” 

“No really, she’s okay,” Lena folded one leg over the other and pushed down the bubble in her throat. “I’m just thinking about the attack.” 

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down at her lap. It wasn’t even the first time someone had tried to assassinate her. This year alone there had been three attempts on her life. They were terrifying and upsetting but she was able to push through, she always did. But this time was different. This time if it had been successful it wouldn’t have been just her who died. 

Before Kara could say anything there was a knock on her apartment door. 

“You should get that, it’s probably the food,” Lena said and forced a smile. 

Kara sighed and went to answer the door. As soon as she was out of Lena’s line of vision, Lena’s tears began to fall. She’d been trying so hard to keep them inside all day and now she was starting to break. 

She internally cursed herself for being so pathetic. She could only imagine what Lex or Lillian would say if they could see her now, it was disgraceful to act so childishly. And she knew if Kara saw her like this she’d probably die of humiliation. But before she could get it under control, Lena heard the sound of little footsteps quickly approaching. 

She looked up to Lydia running towards her, holding way more books then she should’ve been able to carry. She stopped in front of the sofa and dropped them on the ground then looked up at Lena and smiled.

“We can read all of these,” she said. 

Lena sniffed and cleared her throat. “We can try,” she responded, her voice raspy from the cries she’d been suppressing. 

It was then that Lydia noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks and tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Why are you sad, Lena?” 

“I’m not sad,” Lena said, morphing her lips into a smile. “Are you ready to start reading?” 

Lydia nodded and lifted her arms up, a signal Lena was now somewhat familiar with. She picked her up and settled her on her lap, quickly glancing back over at Kara who was carrying in two boxes of pizza and what appeared to be a salad. When she looked back at Lydia, the toddler reached up and used her whole hand to try and wipe the tears from her cheeks. 

“Mama says, everyone has to cry sometimes,” she said knowingly. “‘specially when you gots boo-boos.” 

Lena nodded. “She’s right, everyone gets sad sometimes.” 

She looked back over at Kara who was standing in the kitchen watching them. 

“You have a boo-boo?” Lydia asked. 

“You could say that,” Lena had to stop herself from crying even harder at the concern in Lydia’s voice. 

“Lydia, you know what helps with boo-boos, right?” Kara prompted.

“Kisses!” Lydia exclaimed happily. She threw her arms around Lena to hug her and placed a wet kiss on her cheek. “All better?” 

Lena nodded with a small laugh. “All better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell Lena and Lydia together own my heart?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah idiots in love   
> This chapter is kinda short but it's literally just fluff so that kind of makes up for it? Idk.

“Kara, you really don’t have to do all this for me,” Lena rubbed her arm anxiously as Kara went through her drawers. “I’m alright, I can go home.” 

Kara picked out a pair of pajamas and handed them to Lena. “I know, but after what happened… you shouldn’t have to be alone.” 

Lena bit down on the inside of her cheeks and she accepted the pajamas. She didn’t know what to say. No one had ever treated her this way before. It was so foreign and scary but part of her was beginning to like it, even if she knew she didn’t deserve it. Kara’s kindness, though it didn’t make sense, was like a breath of fresh air. 

“And if it makes you feel better, you can think of it as you doing me a favor.” 

Lena gave a small nod. It did help to think of it as her paying Kara back for how terribly their day had gone. Even if she would’ve rather made it up to her in a way that didn’t involve crashing at her loft for the night. 

“Besides, with how hard it’s raining, it wouldn’t be safe for you to drive home anyway.” 

“I guess you’re right,” Lena said. 

Kara smiled. “You should change, I don’t wanna sound rude, but that skirt can’t be comfortable.” 

Lena laughed and nodded once more. “It isn’t.” 

She went into the bathroom to put on Kara’s pajamas, an oversized hoodie from National City University, and cotton shorts. It was strange being in her clothes but it was a good kind of strange. It made feel warm inside as if she were being wrapped in a hug. 

As she stepped back into Kara’s room, Lena tucked her hair behind her ear, watching Kara, who was already sitting in bed. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take the couch?” She asked and sat down beside her. “I really don’t mind. It’s your home and I--”

“I’m sure.” 

Lena didn’t say anything but slipped under the covers beside Kara. After she’d somehow convinced her to spend the night, Lena told her she’d only stay if she could sleep on the couch. She didn’t want to impose more than she already had and it wouldn’t be fair to make Kara give up her own bed on top of everything else. 

But Kara had told her the couch was lumpy and old and covered in cereal crumbs and other bits of food that Lydia had dropped between the cushions. And then she’d started to ramble about how Lena was probably used to a really nice bed, so she’d hate sleeping on the couch, but Kara had slept on it before so she wouldn’t mind taking it. 

They went back and forth for about fifteen minutes before they somehow came to the conclusion that it would be best for both of them to just share. 

Now, they sat side by side beneath the covers. Lena’s heart beating rapidly against her chest as she felt Kara’s leg brush up against hers.

“So, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the other day,” Lena said to break the silence, playing with the blanket between her fingers. 

“What did I say?”

“About my device,” Lena looked up at Kara as if to anticipate her response. 

“Oh, that.” 

“Supergirl saved me today, an alien saved my life,” she folded her hands together and lowered her brow in concentration. “And it wouldn’t be fair if I went up to her, someone who so selflessly helped me, and demanded to know her identity.” 

Kara swallowed thickly and nodded, a pit forming at the bottom of her stomach. She wanted to tell her. Lena deserved to know. The urge to say something was bursting within her, she couldn’t keep pushing it down, it was too much. 

“I just… I think I realized that it goes for everyone, not just her,” Lena straightened her posture and looked Kara in the eye. 

“So you’re not going to be releasing it?” Kara asked. 

Lena nodded. “I can’t call myself an ally if I’m coming up with technology that could be used to further oppress aliens.”

Kara smiled. She knew Lena had it in her, she knew she was good. She just wished the rest of the world (especially Alex) could see it too. 

“So thank you for helping to wake me up.” 

Kara shook her head. “That was all you.” 

Lena blushed and quickly averted her gaze. “Well, even if it was, thank you for everything else.”

Kara felt her cheeks fill with heat as Lena looked back up at her. 

“For listening to me and letting me stay with you after everything that happened. And that was only today,” Lena said with a chuckle. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kara smiled bashfully and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Of course,” she said as if it were nothing. 

“Supergirl may have saved me, but Kara Danvers,  _ you _ are my hero.”

* * *

“Lydia, you gotta use your fork, kiddo.”

Lydia shook her head. She sat in her high chair, a plate of chopped up chocolate chip pancakes and a sippy cup of milk in front of her. She and Kara had been at the table for about ten minutes now while Lena was still fast asleep in Kara’s room. Kara didn’t have the heart to wake her so she carried Lydia into the kitchen to make a deluxe breakfast for when Lena eventually did wake up. 

“Big girls use their forks,” Kara instructed as she watched her daughter eat the slices one by one with her fingers. “You’re a big girl, right?” 

Lydia nodded and held up her fork in one hand. With the other, she picked up a handful of pancake bits and stuffed them into her mouth, giggling at Kara’s shocked expression. 

“I’m using my fork, Mama,” she said, her mouth still full of food. 

“Very funny.” 

Kara got up and made her way over to the counter to grab herself a plate. As she finished piling up a stack of five pancakes, she saw Lena standing at the other end of the kitchen, watching them both apprehensively. Her hair was up in a messy bun and the sleeves of her sweatshirt were long enough that she could cover her hands completely. She rubbed her eyes and absentmindedly let out a yawn, not even trying to hide her exhaustion. 

Kara had to admit, it was strange seeing her like this. Lena was the type of person to command a room just by existing. When she entered a space, all eyes turned to her. She may not have had the same abilities as Kara, but Kara always considered her command and leadership a superpower in itself. 

Now, Lena stood without makeup or her signature pants suit, half-asleep and looking much smaller than usual. She appeared much younger too. Though, Kara supposed maybe now Lena just looked like herself. 

“Good morning,” Kara said with a grin, the sound of her voice startling Lena out of her little bubble. 

Lena hummed in response and smiled slightly. She was definitely not a morning person, Kara noted. 

“I made breakfast, you can help yourself,” she said and took a seat back at the table across from Lydia, who was finishing off the last of her pancakes, with her fingers. 

“Lena can play trains with us?” She asked when she saw Lena sit down beside Kara. 

“I’m sorry, I have to go home and catch up on my work,” Lena said, causing Lydia to stick out her bottom lip and fold her arms over her stomach. 

“And I don’t want to inconvenience your Mama more than I already have,” Lena turned to Kara, looking at her apologetically. “Thank you again for letting me stay-- and for the change of clothes and breakfast, I honestly don’t even know what to say.” 

Kara chuckled and looked down at her lap to hide how hard she was blushing. “It was nothing, really.”

“I know, but it means a lot,” Lena said softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone this kind.”

“Lena can read with us?” Lydia exclaimed before Kara could get another word out. 

Kara shook her head. “I’m sorry muffin, Lena’s gotta get home.” 

Lena bit her lip as she poked at her pancake with a fork. “I think I have time for one book,” she said. “If that’s okay with Kara.”

“It’s fine with me,” Kara responded without a moment of hesitation. 

Lydia’s face lit up and she clapped her hands together excitedly. “The Little Engine That Could?” 

“Whatever you want.”

Lena knew she had to get back home soon. She had piles of paperwork to get through and that wasn’t even considering catching up on everything she’d missed because she’d gone home with Kara after the press conference. But compared to where she was now, her apartment was so cold and empty. 

She knew she couldn’t, but she was starting to wish she could stay for just a little while longer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways hope y'all liked the fluff, now we get to the not so happy parts :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just filler so it's really short, I'm sorry.

Kara drew in a breath, trying to remain calm as she tried to read over an email Lena had sent. There was more damage control than she could’ve ever imagined would be needed after the press conference that now she was up to her neck in paperwork. And that was excluding disclosure forms from the DEO about what had happened and a new lead Alex had sent over about the attacker having been a part of a larger organization set against Lena. 

It would’ve been enough to send her over the edge on any normal day. But today, Lydia had refused to take a nap, leaving Kara with a whiny, overtired toddler, who kept asking to go to the beach and couldn’t seem to settle down, no matter what Kara had tried. She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair, trying to process the words in front of her while simultaneously blocking out the little voice going  _ Mama Mama Mama. _

“Muffin, Mama just needs five minutes to get some work done,” Kara said. At this point, she didn’t care if she had to get on her knees and beg her almost-three-year-old for just a moment of silence. “Just five minutes and then I’ll play with you, okay?” 

“We’ll go to the beach?” Lydia asked. 

Kara was about to say no but quickly stopped herself. “We can talk about it,” she said and Lydia ran off excitedly. 

She went to type out a response to the email, groaning loudly when her phone began to ring. 

“What, Alex?” She grumbled.

“Hello to you too,” Alex said. Kara could practically hear her roll her eyes. “I’m at the DEO with Winn right now, apparently the person at the press conference has had a history of working with Lex Luthor.” 

Kara straightened her back at the sound of Lex’s name. She shut her laptop and stood, bringing a hand to her forehead. “Was he behind this?”

“He’s in jail right now but I guess it could be possible. We don’t really know much yet, I just wanted to tell you so--”

“So I could tell Lena,” Kara finished. There was a slight pause and Kara began to pace around her living room. Lena had no idea, her brother was out to get her and she was completely in the dark. 

“Yes. You know I’m not her biggest fan but she deserves to hear it from someone she trusts, not a government agent she’s never met.” 

Kara nodded. There was no way she could tell Lena as herself, it wouldn’t be possible to explain how she knew without revealing it all. And this was such a huge bomb she’d be dropping, she couldn’t tell Lena about everything else now, it would be too much for her to handle. So she’d go as Supergirl and hope that saving her life meant they were on good enough terms for her to casually drop by her office in the middle of a Sunday. 

“Okay, I gotta go, I’ll tell her tonight.” 

“Great, you want me to watch the crotch goblin for you?” 

“Yeah, and call her that again and I’ll throw you into the sun.”

Kara hung up the phone and sighed as she flopped back down on the sofa, putting her head in her hands. Things just kept on coming. It didn’t seem like there would ever be an end. Just as she was about to drag herself back to her work, she was pulled away again. 

“Mama, I’m stuck!” 

She looked up to see Lydia in her diaper, with one arm out of her shirt and a finding Nemo swimsuit on her head. Kara didn’t even want to ask how she’d managed to find her swimsuit. But the sight made her smile as she got down on her knees so she was level with her daughter. As soon as she held out her arms, Lydia came running towards her, tugging on the straps of the bathing suit. 

“Hey, stop, you’re making it worse,” Kara said and gently pulled her daughter’s hands away from her head. “How did this happen?” 

Lydia shrugged dramatically once Kara was done taking off her shirt. 

“I was gon’ go to the beach,” Lydia explained. 

Kara nodded. “Alright, well we can’t go to the beach today, but you know what I found?” 

Lydia shook her head and Kara pulled her into her lap, tickling her beneath her arms, causing Lydia to erupt in a fit of giggles. She knew she was wasting time but nothing was able to lift her spirits like the sound of Lydia laughing as she squirmed around in Kara’s hold.

“A naked baby!” Kara blew a raspberry kiss on her belly and Lydia squealed, throwing her hands up in the air and trying to tickle Kara back. Kara fell back onto the ground laughing and Lydia crawled on top of her, attempting to raspberry kiss her cheek, but instead just blowing hot air and spit. 

“I got you, Mama,” Lydia giggled, grinning as she pressed her nose to Kara’s. 

“Yeah?” Kara kissed the top of Lydia’s nose and smiled. “I got you too.” 

As shitty as the rest of the world may have felt, she knew she was the luckiest person out there to have Lydia in her life. She was never going to take that for granted.

* * *

Lena’s lashes fluttered shut, the bright laptop screen in front of her becoming blurry in the darkness. The room was cold and empty, a dreary silence falling over the wide-open space, making it feel like she was alone on an island floating by herself in the middle of the ocean. 

The sterility of her office used to be so familiar. It made her feel mature. Being so young and taking over a company as a result of a complication-- people were quick to underestimate her. But the space Lena had created for herself made her feel tall and powerful. It reminded her that she was just as smart as every other member of her family but would use her intellect for the benefit of the public, not herself. 

Then, she hired Kara, who filled the space with sunshine brighter than had ever shone in through the massive windows. She was a breath of fresh air, a burst of light after a long storm. She made it so Lena could forget about all she wanted to force herself to be and just exist. 

Even though most of their interactions at L Corp were work-related, Lena always felt different around Kara. As if she could see her for who she really was, not who the rest of the world perceived her to be. 

Now, sitting in her office in the middle of the night and completely alone, the hollow space seemed to swallow her whole. 

A quiet thud on the balcony lifted her out of her haze. The fog in her head began to lift as she shook her head and stood up. The person behind the glass was not what she’d been expecting to see at all, but she smoothed out her skirt and straightened her posture just the same. 

Supergirl opened the door and stepped into the office before Lena could say anything, smiling slightly as she entered. 

“You know, that doors not really an entrance,” Lena said as she tried to process what was happening. The only interaction she’d ever had with Supergirl had been at the press conference. Of course, she’d seen her on the news many times and there were even a few moments she could’ve sworn she saw her flying above the L-Corp building, but they’d never officially met before. 

“I know, but I needed to talk to you,” Supergirl hesitated. She looked Lena up and down but not in the judgmental way that Lena was used to. “I also wanted to see how you were doing, make sure you’re not hurt.” 

“I’m fine,” Lena said, rubbing her hands together. “I have you to thank for that. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if you hadn’t rescued me.” 

Supergirl nodded. “That’s actually what we need to talk about.”

“Oh?”

“We have reason to believe Lex may have been behind the attack.” 

Lena inhaled sharply and sat back down at her desk, beginning to type away without a word. 

“You don’t seem surprised,” Supergirl commented, making her way over to the table. 

“I had my suspicions,” Lena said. She turned her laptop around to show a large block of text. “So I did some digging… these are emails sent between him and my brother whose supposedly in jail without internet access.” She scoffed at the last part and shut her computer.

“You knew?” 

Lena shrugged as if it were nothing. “Growing up in my family, I’ve learned to always assume it’s someone you know. Someone you were told you were made to feel safe with.” 

She slowly stood up and took a step towards Supergirl. “I know that you probably don’t trust me. And you’re entitled to that, I am a Luthor. But I want to take down Lex just as bad as you do.” 

Lena folded her hands together and looked down at the house of El crest of Supergirl’s chest, a symbol that was supposed to represent hope and protection.

“And I hope with time I can earn your trust too.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena has flashbacks to her childhood and finally starts to break under the fear of Lex coming back. Luckily, Kara is there to comfort her.   
> Trigger warning- flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in 2 days!!  
> If only I was as good at finishing my homework as I am updating this fic.

Lena smiled to herself as she walked out of the conference room. It was so rare that she felt good after meetings like these, but finally, she was having one of those times, and she knew she had to soak up every minute. 

Throughout the entire discussion, she could tell how hard the men in the room were trying to phase her. They wanted to see how many times they could knock her down before she would finally stop getting back up. But she’d prevailed. Every snide comment, every statistic they’d thrown at her in hopes of getting her to falter, she was able to combat with more data and facts that they didn’t want to acknowledge. She even set her notes up the way she was used to doing, not caring that it earned her judgemental glares for being the only woman in the room daring to take up space. And every time she spoke her voice was loud and clear. She didn’t allow herself to hesitate and she didn’t second guess herself the way she normally did. She’d put every one of those entitled men in their place. 

“You seem happy,” Kara commented as she passed by her desk. “The meeting went well?” 

Lena smiled. “I think so.”

Kara grinned back at her. She knew how hard the people Lena worked with tried to bring her down, she couldn’t help but be full of pride when Lena had a meeting go alright.

“Well, I hope this won’t kill your mood, but that reporter James Olsen wants to come in this afternoon for another interview.”

“It’s okay, he’s not very thorough so it’ll hopefully go by quickly.” 

“Oh, and I forgot to give this to you this morning,” Kara opened up a blue folder and took out a piece of paper then handed it to Lena, who smiled ear to ear when she saw what it was. A crayon drawing of a corner sun, a flower, three stick people, two with yellow hair and one with dark blue, and a few shapes Lena couldn’t quite decipher. 

“It’s supposed to be us and Lydia. And I’m pretty sure that’s the  _ Little Engine That Could _ ,” Kara said, pointing to all the different drawings. “Lydia said I have to give it to you so you’ll come back and read with her again, but you don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to.” 

“Of course, I want to keep it,” Lena said, unable to stop smiling. “And she’s very smart, trying to bribe me with gifts,” she added with a chuckle. 

She still didn’t understand why Lydia seemed to like her so much. Lena didn’t know anything about children and every time she held her she was terrified she’d drop her on her head, causing permanent brain damage and Kara to hate her forever. But it made her heart swell to know she did. No one ever thought to do things like this for her, well, other than Kara, of course.

“I think she’s starting to like the way you read more than the way I do and not gonna lie, I’m a little offended,” Kara said. 

Lena laughed as she looked over the drawing once more. The people were so close together, they looked like a little family. 

“Don’t worry, I could never get her to love me the way she loves you,” Lena reassured her. “You’re an amazing mom.”

Kara blushed, averting her gaze and starting to play with her fingers. The words meant so much more when they came from Lena. She wasn’t sure why; they just did. 

* * *

  
  


Lena set the picture down on her desk and opened up her laptop. She was finally ahead of where she needed to be with today’s work, a rare occurrence if there ever was one. She had an hour to spare before the reporter came which meant for once, she had some time to kill. So she clicked the link to a bio-chemical engineering TedTalk she’d saved months ago but never got around to watching. Smiling to herself as the video loaded, Lena let out a long breath. Today really was her day.

_ Okay maybe not, _ she thought to herself as a thirty-second ad began. But then again, nothing was perfect. She furrowed her brow as the video played, the song in the background seemed familiar, like something she’d heard when she was younger. Something that used to play at home.

And just like that, she couldn’t breathe.

Within an instant, she was back there, back in the old house. She could feel him in the room with her. He wasn’t hurting her, he was just standing. There were voices in her head, the sound of her parents screaming at each other rang through her ears. He was telling her to stop crying, his voice was young but just as cold as it was now. 

Slowly, the sound of Lillian and Lionel arguing morphed into him. He was the one yelling as the ghosts of his hands strangled her, sucking all the life out of her throat. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest, the voice in her head only getting louder. 

Lena wanted to scream. She wanted to tell him to get away, to let go of her so she could breathe again. She wanted to fight back. But she was all alone, she knew she was alone. And still, he had her trapped. She was stuck in her office with nowhere for her to run to, and even if there were, he would always catch her. He always did. 

Wrapping her arms around herself, Lena swallowed a sob and closed her eyes. She needed to get away, she needed to get out before he killed her. Even if it was just in her head, even though she  _ knew _ it was all in her head, she needed to get out. 

“Lena, Mr. Olsen is-- Lena, are you okay?” Kara dropped the papers she was holding and rushed to Lena’s aid. Lena didn’t respond, she just shook her head, holding herself even tighter. 

The commercial ended and the screen changed to the image of a woman standing in front of a PowerPoint presentation. But the song was still playing in her head, she couldn’t get it to stop.

“Please, please turn it off,” Lena begged, her voice small and weak. 

Kara shut her laptop and Lena pushed it to the other end of the desk. 

“I could feel him here, I--” she looked up at Kara and began to cry. Her whole body was trembling with fear, it was as if she no longer had any control over herself. She just didn’t understand how it could’ve happened. She was fine, she was so happy and then the next second it was all gone. 

“You could feel who here?”

“Lex,” Lena said, her eyes wide and full of dread. “I don’t know what happened I-- I just went to watch a video and I-- I don’t know.” 

“Okay, let’s go over to the couch, is it okay if I touch you?” Kara asked softly. 

Once Lena nodded, she gently helped her up, wrapping one arm around her waist and with her free hand, took Lena’s shaky palm in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze as the walked across the room. When they sat down, Lena continued to hold her hand, gripping it as tightly as she could. 

“What happened?” Kara asked, tracing over Lena’s knuckles with the pad of her thumb. 

Lena shook her head. “I don’t know I just… I was going t- to watch this talk and I--” She stopped herself when she realized how foolish it sounded. She was freaking out over a song. A simple song had sent her spiraling back to that house, back to Lex, and the ways he used to torment her. All it had taken was a few notes for her to have a complete meltdown. 

“The song from the ad, he-- Lex used to play it when we were little,” Lena cried. “Before he-- before he changed he-- he used to play it when our parents fought to drown out the noise.” 

“It started playing and I-- I could feel him in here.”

“Is there anything I can do? Anything that might help?” Kara asked, her voice gentle and calm. 

Lena shook her head once more. “No, but please don’t go. I don’t want him to come back.” 

“It’s okay, I won’t leave,” Kara assured her. “He’s not gonna hurt you, I’ve got you, we’re safe, I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Lena nodded. She didn’t know how to explain that even though he couldn’t touch her, it still hurt so much. He was still there with her, taunting her through memories and fear that he’d been instilling in her for as long as she knew him. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t get rid of it, she didn’t get why she still couldn’t seem to move forward. All she knew was she was never going to be free of his chains no matter how old she got. And she was never going to be able to get away from the pain he’d caused her. 

“Lena, hey, look at me.”

Lena did as she was told, looking up to Kara as her tears continued to fall. 

“I’m here, it’s just us. Nobody is going to hurt you, okay? I won’t let that happen.”

“But it felt so real,” Lena cried quietly. 

“I know, but he’s not here. The song triggered those memories but he’s not going to hurt you.” 

"And the drone-- I know he's in jail but Kara, what if he comes for me again?"

"If he does, this time we'll be prepared. We can start taking extra measures, starting with no more outdoor press conferences and even more security in L-Corp and in your home. And if he ever tries to get to you again, he'll have to get through me first because there's no way I will _ever_ let him lay a finger on you."

Lena didn’t say anything. She wanted to believe it was true but he was always there, every time she thought she was finally done he always found a way back into her life. And she was so used to fighting alone that now that Kara was here, it just didn’t make any sense. 

Why wasn’t Kara scared away? Why was she being so nice about it? Why did she want to protect her? It was all so confusing. 

And now Kara was asking to hug her, asking if it was alright before she moved closer and asking if the way she held her was okay. 

As soon as Kara wrapped Lena in her warm embrace, Lena felt like she could finally breathe again. It was impossible to comprehend why, but Kara held her close without saying a word, lovingly stroking her hair. Lena could almost feel herself begin to relax, her arms felt so safe and so strong that she could start to tell herself that Kara was right, that she wouldn’t let anything bad happen. 

She knew she would have to find a way to repay her for this. But right now, Kara wasn’t asking for anything in return, she wasn’t mad, she wasn’t even mocking her for being afraid. She was just there, holding her without an ounce of selfishness to it. 

Lena didn’t understand, but she wished with everything she had in her that she could.

* * *

Kara touched down at the DEO, immediately rushing to Alex’s desk. She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t spend every day in that office with Lena, who had been hurt so many times before by people who were supposed to be there for her and protect her. Kara could not let herself become just another person who’d betrayed her trust and stabbed her in the back.

“Alex, we need to talk about Lena.” 

Alex stood from her desk and raised an eyebrow. 

“I can’t keep monitoring and watching-- or whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing there. She’s proved she’s not a threat and I-- I really care about her, I can’t do this to her,” Kara said. “We already know Lex just tried to attack her, there’s no way she’s working with him.”

Alex sighed. “I know, but I still have a bad feeling about her. Just because she’s not working with Lex doesn’t mean she isn’t involved in other shady stuff.”

“Alex, she isn’t like her family, she made the decision to not release the alien detection device on her own, she really does want to do good,” Kara insisted. “And she’s dealing with so much right now. She trusts me-- not Supergirl but Kara. She really needs a friend, she needs Kara Danvers to be her friend and I can’t do that if I’m only there to monitor her.”

Kara paused, folding her arms over her chest. Maybe it would just take some understanding on both ends. When Supergirl saved Lena, she changed her mind about the device almost immediately. Perhaps the same thing needed to happen with Alex.

“I’m gonna invite her to game night,” she decided. “Maybe then you’ll see what I do.”

Alex nodded. “I really hope I will.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena comes over for game night. An emergency calls Kara, Maggie, and Alex away, leaving Lena to babysit Lydia for the night. 
> 
> ***  
> apologies in advance because this one is gonna hurt

“Lena!” 

Lydia ran through the apartment with her arms in the air to the front door where Lena stood in the doorway. Lena laughed as she knelt down and lifted the toddler up. 

“It’s game night!” Lydia exclaimed. 

“I know, are you excited?”

Lydia nodded, bouncing up and down in Lena’s arms. “And aunt Allie and aunt Maggie are coming!” 

“I know you’re happy but don’t jump out of Lena’s arms,” Kara said with a laugh.

“This is for you,” Lena turned around to hand Kara the large bag that she was beginning to struggle to hold onto. “I couldn’t decide between red or white so I brought both.”

Kara thanked her as she took the bottles out of the bag and set them on the kitchen table. 

“I want Lena’s apple juice,” Lydia whined, leaning over Lena’s shoulder and reaching out her hand. 

“Lena’s apple juice is just for your Mama,” Lena said, adjusting her grip on the squirming toddler before she dropped her. 

“When can I have it?” Lydia asked and stuck out her bottom lip. 

“When you’re twenty-one.” 

Before either of them could say anything else, the apartment door opened and two women walked in. One was tall with short red hair and held multiple bags of Chinese takeout and the other was short and tan, holding a six-pack of beer.

Kara immediately went over and hugged them both, thanking them as she took the food and drinks and set them on the table next to the wine Lena brought. 

“Aunt Allie! Aunt Maggie!” Lydia squealed, kicking her legs with excitement. 

“Come here my little dumpling,” the shorter woman said, taking Lydia from Lena’s arms. “You wanna play attack helicopter?” 

Lydia nodded and clapped her hands. 

“Alright, arms up.”

Lydia put her hands up as she was carried around the apartment, both of them making a  _ buzzzz _ sound as the woman ran her around the living room. 

“Lena, this is my sister, Alex, and the one teaching my innocent little baby to be a machine gun, is Maggie,” Kara said, her voice and the  _ pew pew pew _ sound effects from Lena and Maggie pulling Lena out of her head. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Alex said holding out her hand. 

Lena smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Kara talks about you all the time,” Alex added, causing Kara to blush furiously. 

“Really?” 

Alex nodded. “Don’t worry, it’s all good things.” 

Kara folded her arms over her chest as she watched the interaction. Hopefully, this would be enough for Lena to win Alex over. But then again, she wasn’t too worried. All Lena had to do was be herself and Kara was sure Alex would feel about her the same way she did.

* * *

“Lena, how are you already bankrupt?”

“I have no idea.”

“Hey, you’re one to talk,” Alex pointed a finger at Maggie. “I don’t think you’ve ever won a game of Monopoly against Kara or me.” 

“That’s because I’m undefeated,” Kara said with a proud smile. 

“And really modest too,” Alex said and laughed. 

“Hey, you’re playing for yourselves, I’m building a multi-million dollar fortune to pass down to Lydia, the heir to my riches.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’m gonna get some food, do you guys want anything?” 

“It’s five pm,” Maggie exclaimed. “My grandparents don’t even eat dinner this early.”

“This is just our pre-dinner-half-dinner,” Kara explained as she and Alex made their way over to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, we get a taste of everything before we eat it for real,” Alex continued. “It’s a very logical system.” 

Kara nodded and grabbed a plate. “Very logical.”

“So what do you think of Lena?” She asked quietly as she began piling up potstickers. 

“She’s nice,” Alex responded. 

“That’s it? Just  _ nice _ ?” 

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know, she’s quiet, Lydia seems to love her. I can see why you like her.” 

Kara smiled, she wasn’t completely satisfied with that answer, but she supposed it was good enough for now. 

“I think she’s just shy,” she said. “She doesn’t really see that many people outside of work.” 

Alex looked over at Lena, who was sitting on the carpet, pretending to be horrified because Lydia knocked over the tower of blocks they’d been building. 

“Doesn’t she have any friends?” Alex asked, her voice low so nobody would overhear. 

Kara paused. She’d never heard Lena mention any. Maybe a few weeks ago, she would’ve said that was just because they never really talked about personal things, but that wasn’t true anymore. And Kara had told Lena about her friends. But now that she thought about it, Lena had never mentioned having any of her own. 

“I don’t know,” Kara said softly. She watched Lydia hand two blocks to Lena and ask her if they could rebuild their tower. Lena was so kind to everyone and she always made Kara feel so good about herself. Kara didn’t understand how someone as wholesome as herself could appear so lonely. But she did know that whether or not Lena did have friends other than her, she wanted to stay by her side for as long as possible. 

* * *

“Alright? Who’s up for another round?” Kara asked once she finished re-organizing all the Monopoly money. 

“You only want to play again because you won,” Lena pointed out. Alex and Maggie’s eyes widened, not expecting such a bold statement after she’d hardly spoken to any of them the entire night. 

“I like this one,” Alex said with a grin. “Keep her humble, Lena.” 

Lena smiled and mouthed a  _ sorry _ to Kara, who quickly brushed it off. 

“Hey, why don’t we--”

Alex was cut off by the sound of her phone buzzing loudly. She excused herself and hastily walked over to the kitchen to answer it. The group fell quiet as she paced around the other room, giving short and quiet responses. Once she hung up, she came back over to the group, a serious look on her face. 

“Kara, Maggie, can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked. 

Kara helped Lydia off her lap and the two of them made their way over to her. Lena tried not to watch from where she was sitting on the floor, feeling a pang in her chest. After about a minute Kara came back over to her and knelt down beside the two of them. 

“Hey, there’s kind of a family emergency so we have to go deal with something I-- I hate to ask but can you watch her? It should only be a few hours,” Kara asked. 

Lena nodded. “Yes, of course, whatever you need.” 

“Lydia, Mama’s gotta go out for a little while, okay?” 

“Why?” 

“I have to take care of something, but I’m gonna be home before you know it. And you’re gonna be spending tonight with Lena,” Kara said. “You guys can read all the books you want, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Lydia shook her head and ran to her mom, hugging her tightly. “I want  _ you _ , Mama.”

“Hey, you like Lena,” Kara said encouragingly. “Remember? You drew her that beautiful picture.”

She looked back down at Lena and smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, once I leave she’ll perk up. She just hates it when I have to go.”

Placing a kiss on the top of Lydia’s head, Kara rubbed her back reassuringly. “I hate leaving you too, but I’ll be home soon, you don’t have to worry.” 

“Promise?” Came a little voice, muffled by the fabric of Kara’s shirt. 

“Promise.”

She pulled herself away from Lydia so she could look her in the eye and place her hands on her shoulders. “I gotta go now muffin, but I know you’re gonna have a really great time with Lena.” 

Lydia looked up at Kara and pouted. 

“Are you gonna behave for her?” 

Lydia nodded.

“That’s my good girl,” Kara said with a smile. “I love you. I’ll be back before you wake up tomorrow.”

“I love you too, Mama.”

Kara stood back up, looking down at a teary-eyed Lydia and Lena, who was clearly trying her hardest to appear calm and collected. 

“Okay, I really should get going. Bedtime is 7:30, she’s got dino nuggets in the freezer and--”

“Kara, come on, we gotta go,” Alex called out from the doorway. 

“--and she has a binky on her nightstand, she can’t fall asleep without it.”

“Kara, seriously!” 

“And the pediatrician’s number is on the fridge. Okay, bye guys, Lydia, I love you so much. I promise I’ll be home soon.”

As soon as Kara left, Lydia began to cry. She threw the top half of her body onto the couch and sobbed into the cushion, the sound absolutely breaking Lena’s heart. 

“I want my mama!” She wailed as the door closed.

“I know,” Lena said, softly rubbing her back. “But she’s gonna be home soon.”

“I want her  _ now. _ ” 

“I know, love,” Lena sighed. “Do you want to read? We can read whatever you want?” 

“I want songs,” Lydia cried. 

“Songs?” Lena repeated. She couldn’t remember the last time she sang. She honestly wasn’t even what her singing voice sounded like now. But Lydia was still crying so there was no time for her to be self-conscious over whether she thought she’d sound good or not. 

She started with  _ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  _

Her voice was shaky and raspy, the sound made her cringe. But Lydia seemed to like it. And after two lines, she took her head off the couch and sat down in Lena’s lap. Laying against Lena’s chest, she put her thumb in her mouth as her cries slowly starting to dissolve into quiet whimpers. 

Lena released a breath of relief and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head when she finished the song. If Lydia continued on like this, she had no idea how she was going to get through the rest of the night.

Luckily, once Lydia ate dinner, things started to get better. She talked Lena’s ear off about how she’s learning the alphabet and even sang the song to her to show how good she was at knowing her letters. They then played with her kitchen set; Lydia gave Lena a plate of plastic cucumber and told her it would be five hundred dollars. It was only when Lydia asked if she could watch  _ Sofia the First _ that things started to get weird. 

When Lena turned on the television, the news was playing, showing a recording of Supergirl fighting a rouge alien that had taken multiple humans hostage. The screen then switched to an image of her flying away after rescuing the victims, while the reporter went on about her heroism. 

Lena went to change the channel to a taping of Lydia’s show, but Lydia began to clap her hands with excitement and squeal when she saw Supergirl.

“That’s Mama!” She exclaimed. “It’s my mama!” 

Lena chuckled at the girl’s confusion. “No, that’s Supergirl, love.” 

Lydia shook her head and pouted. “No, it’s my mama,” she whined. 

She looked at Lena and folded her arms over her stomach. “Meanie.” 

“Okay,” Lena said calmly. There was no reason to object. If Lydia wanted to believe her mom was Supergirl she could believe it. But more importantly, if Lydia started to cry again, Lena would have absolutely no idea what to do, so she’d let it be. 

Still, though, Lydia’s firmness in her belief that Supergirl was her mom was just slightly discomforting. The resemblance between the two people was certainly there, so maybe she was probably just confused Lena tried to tell herself. And after all, she was only a toddler, little kids got mixed up easily. But although those statements were both true, the moment left a lingering uneasiness in the pit of Lena’s stomach. One she couldn’t shake for the rest of the night.

* * *

What happened when Lydia’s show ended was what ended up the best part of the night; when she tucked Lydia in. She sat on the chair beside Lydia’s bed next to a stack of books the little girl had picked out for her. They were all fairytales or stories about princesses in far off castles. (Lena’s personal favorite was called  _ Princesses Wear Pants _ ).

“Mama says I stay up late,” Lydia said as she crawled under the covers. It had taken a little while, but now she was so content with Lena being with there, she’d almost forgotten she was sad about her mom being gone.

Lena raised an eyebrow. “You know, for some reason, I don’t think that’s true.” 

Lydia nodded. “Is ‘cause I’m a big girl now.”

“You are a big girl,” Lena agreed. “And big girls go to bed on time so they can have lots of energy in the morning.” 

Lydia shook her head. 

“How about this we can read a book and after that, if you start to feel tired I can tuck you in,” Lena suggested, hoping as the words left her mouth that one book would be enough to get her to want to sleep. 

Lydia shook her head once more. “We gotta do two books two songs.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’m two,” Lydia said, giggling as if it were obvious. 

“What about when you’re ten?” Lena raised an eyebrow. “Are you gonna do ten books and ten songs?” 

Lydia nodded. 

“That’s a lot of books and songs.” 

“Mama would do it,” Lydia said. “‘Cause she loves me that much.”

Lena felt her heart stop at those words. Lydia was so sure. She was so young, young enough that ten books and ten songs made perfect sense in her mind but still she understood just how much Kara loved her. She knew that when Lena left that she was going to come back for her. She would be safe with a mom who cared about her in a home where she would be valued and taken care of, no matter what. 

“Two books and two songs it is then,” Lena said. 

Lydia smiled. She took the binky off her nightstand and popped it into her mouth.

Never could Lena have even imagined what being in that position would’ve felt like, to know she would be loved unconditionally, no matter what. Maybe she did when she was Lydia’s age; when she was too young to remember. Now, she could only hope that as Lydia grew older she wouldn’t forget this feeling the way Lena had.

* * *

Once Lydia was in bed, Lena sent a text to Kara telling her everything was under control and that she hoped she was okay. She also told her if she needed to take any time off work, she completely understood and she would still get paid for the days she missed. 

After that, Lena began to wander through Kara’s apartment, taking in the little things she might have missed earlier. She’d seen it before, but there were so many things that slipped her eye. All the little details that made it feel like a home instead of merely a house. 

The finger paintings hung on the walls, next to framed photos of her and Lydia at various locations like the zoo or the beach. Photos of Lydia as an infant, being held by who Lena assumed was Kara’s mom. And the occasional photo of Kara, Lydia, and Alex. Lena’s personal favorite was the one of the two of them on Halloween where Lydia could’ve only been a few months old. They were both dressed as Kangaroos. Kara was holding Lydia in her arms, but the costume had an open pouch that could hold her too. She had the biggest smile Lena had ever seen and Lydia was fast asleep with one of her kangaroo ears drooping over and covering part of her face. 

Eventually, after she started to feel like a creep, she sat down on the couch and turned on the television. She switched to one of the news channels, which was still showing Supergirls heroic rescue from earlier. 

Leaning forward, Lena furrowed her brow as they showed a close up of her face that had been caught by a photojournalist moments before flying away from the scene. From this shot, Lena could see the tiny faded scar just above her eyebrow. Her smile was even more familiar now, her warmth radiated off the screen, filing the apartment with a presence Lena had started to become very used to. 

“Kara?” She breathed as the image disappeared, switching back to one of the anchors in the newsroom. 

Her mouth formed an ‘oh’ shape as she realized it was really true. Lydia wasn’t just confused, Supergirl was her mom.  _ Kara _ was Supergirl. 

Before she could give herself a second to try and process it further, the sound of a door opening followed by little footsteps pulled her out of her haze. She turned to see Lydia, standing at the other end of the room, holding her baby blanket and a stuffed dog, binky still in her mouth. 

“Lena?” 

“Yeah, sweetie?” Lena stood up and took a step towards her. Her hands were starting to shake, the familiar feeling of panic beginning to set in again. 

“When’s Mama gonna be home?” 

“She’s gonna be home very soon,” Lena said, her voice wavering. “It’ll feel even faster if you go back to bed because when you wake up, she’ll be there with you.” 

Lydia shook her head. 

“It’ll only be a little while longer.”

Lydia stomped her foot and threw her blanket and stuffed animal to the ground. “I want Mama now!” 

Lena’s entire body tightened as Lydia let out a long wail, her binky falling out of her mouth along with a line of drool. She dramatically fell to her knees as she wept, her cheeks turning bright pink from how hard she was crying. 

“I’m sorry-- she’s gonna be home soon, I promise,” Lena said frantically as she knelt down beside her. “We can read a book while we wait? Does that sound okay? We can do two more books and two more songs?”

“No, I want Mama!” Lydia yelled. 

“I know… but we can figure something out, right?” 

Lydia shook her head, a trail of snot beginning to pool out of her nose. 

Suddenly, Lena heard the sound of a key turning in a lock. She quickly turned her head as Kara walked into the apartment. Her hair was up in a ponytail, her glasses lopsided on her nose. 

Lena’s breath caught in her throat at the sight, her chest beginning to ache. 

“Hey, muffin, I’m home,” Kara said crouching down beside Lydia. She pulled her into a hug and wiped away her tears, getting her to stop crying instantly. 

“I’m really sorry she’s still up, I got her to bed about an hour ago, I didn’t realize she wouldn’t fall asleep right away,” Lena apologized. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she watched Kara soothe her daughter. She shushed her and whispered to her, reminding her that she was there now. 

It was just the other day when Lena had been the one in Kara’s arms, when Kara promised she’d never let Lex hurt her again. 

All those times Lex had abused and tormented her, he’d never hidden it. He told her just how worthless he thought she was and she made sure she felt it, her entire family did. She never realized how much worse it would’ve been if he’d hidden his true colors. She’d always told herself maybe if she’d been a better sister, maybe if their bond would’ve been stronger, things could’ve been different. 

Now she knew this wasn’t true. She just never could’ve imagined Kara would’ve been the one to make her realize this.

“It’s not your fault, I almost never leave her with a sitter at night, she hates going to bed when I’m not home.” 

Lena bit her lip and shook her head. “I know but I’ve probably thrown off her whole sleep schedule now. And she was crying so much… what if I traumatized her?” 

Kara smiled reassuringly. “She was just throwing a tantrum, little kids do it all the time,” she placed a hand on Lena’s shoulder, it immediately tensed beneath her mild touch. 

“I promise, you did nothing wrong. She’s used to her routine, she just got upset at the change.” 

“Are you sure? Because if I did, you can yell at me. I know I’m your boss but it’s okay, she’s your daughter, you can be mad at me.” 

Lena had spent so long trying to break away from her family, she did everything she possibly could to prove to the world that she was good. She tried so hard to get herself and everyone else to believe she could help people instead of harming them.

But perhaps she wasn’t any more than her brother or the rest of the Luthors. Perhaps she was just as bad. 

Because people don’t hurt one another for no reason. Kara wouldn’t have done this just because she could, right? So it only made sense that she was just as terrible as everyone thought she was. She must’ve done something to deserve this. 

Or else why would Kara do this to her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm sorry. IDK if I love or hate this chapter so I hope it wasn't terrible.   
> But on the bright side, Kara calling Lydia "muffin" and Lena calling her "love" is the cutest thing ever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena buys Lydia a onesie. That's it, that's the chapter.

“Take out for Kara Danvers, please.” 

“One minute, I’ll be right back with your food.” 

Kara smiled and looked around the crowded restaurant. She’d been wanting to come here for a while now but could never find the time. There was always something going on at the DEO or L Corp or with Lydia, it wasn’t possible for her to go out and eat the way she used to. And it wasn’t the type of place she’d want to go eat alone, it seemed like a third or fourth date kind of place. Though, it wasn’t like she had anyone to take on a third or fourth date. The whole single mom thing, she’d found turned out to be a pretty big turn off. 

Soon enough, the hostess was back with her take out. Kara thanked her and turned Lydia’s stroller around, pausing when she saw a familiar figure with a laptop and three different appetizers sitting at one of the tables a few feet away from her. She clumsily turned the stroller back around, almost waking her sleeping daughter so she could see if it was who she thought it was.

“Lena?” 

“Kara, hey.” Lena looked over at her and smiled back. “What are you doing here?” 

“We just came to pick up lunch,” Kara said, holding up her bag of take out. “What about you?”

“Just getting some work done.”

“I’ve been meaning to call you, I wanted to thank you again for watching Lydia the other day. I know it couldn’t have been easy but she really does love you.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad everything is okay with your family.”

Kara nodded. “Me too.”

She awkwardly ran a hand through her hair and smiled. “We should probably get going I don’t want to--” 

Lena brought her finger up to stop her. “Wait, I-- it’s really silly but I-- I was doing some shopping earlier and I saw this and I thought it would be perfect for Lydia.”

She grabbed a bag from beneath the table and handed it to Kara, a genuine smile spreading across her lips. 

“Lena, that’s so sweet, you didn’t have to get her anything,” Kara said. She opened the bag and pulled out a blue onesie with red feet and the House of El crest in the middle. Kara almost choked on air at the sight, losing the ability to speak momentarily. 

That had to be a coincidence, right? It wasn’t like Lena somehow figured out her secret and was using baby pajamas to taunt her until she came forward herself. That would be absurd. 

“If it’s not her size, there’s a gift certificate in the bag, but it’s a toddler 2-3, so hopefully it’s alright.” 

Kara forced a smile and cleared her throat as she put the pajamas back into the bag, thanking Rao Lydia wasn’t awake or she would’ve without a doubt spilled the beans. 

“Thank you, she’s gonna be so excited when I show her.” 

Lena nodded and folded her hands in her lap. “Of course, I really hope she likes them.” 

Kara pushed the stroller back and forth to try and get rid of the need to fidget. “I’m sure she will,” she said. “But you really didn’t have to do this.” 

“I know,” Lena responded. “I just wanted to do something nice.”

The whole thing wasn’t a complete lie. She had been window shopping and she’d passed by a baby store and saw the Supergirl pajamas through the window. She did think they were adorable and either way, she probably would’ve ended up buying them because Lydia and Kara seemed to constantly be on her mind now. And it wasn’t like she’d intentionally set up and waited for Kara to come into the restaurant. Running into her had been purely her being in the right place at the right time. 

However, it wouldn’t exactly be true to say she didn’t want to see Kara’s reaction. Maybe it was a mean thing to do, but she felt she was entitled to mess with her this one time. And it was just a onesie, if it meant that much to Kara, she could just return it.

* * *

“I think she knows.”

“What? How could she know?”

“She got Lydia a onesie.” 

“Kara, what does that have to do with anything?” 

Kara groaned as she paced back and forth through the living room, the phone still to her ear. “It was a _Supergirl_ onesie, Alex.”

“That doesn’t mean she knows, it just means she’s a millionaire who saw a cute pair of pajamas and bought them without thinking because she can afford to do so.” 

Kara paused. Alex did have a point. Lena was in a position where she didn’t necessarily have to think before buying things. But Kara knew she wasn’t the type of person to do anything thoughtlessly. Even if it was something as simple as buying pajamas for her daughter.

“What did she say when she gave them to you?” Alex asked. “Did she say anything that might hint at her knowing?” 

“No, she just said that she was out shopping and she saw them and thought of Lydia.”

“Did she have any other bags with her?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t look.”

Kara sat down on the sofa and pulled her legs into her chest. She did want to tell Lena, she really did. It ate away at her knowing she was lying. She just needed to wait for the right time. And this certainly was not it. Lena was dealing with so much, she couldn’t drop this on her now. It would be too much to handle. But she did want to do it sooner rather than later. Before her hiding it created a big disaster between the two of them.

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just going crazy,” Kara said with a nervous chuckle. She bit the nail on her index finger and tried to think about it rationally. It had to just be a weird twist of fate. After all, she trusted Lena. If Lena told her she’d been out shopping and seen it in a store window, she had no reason not to believe it. 

“You’re not crazy,” Alex said softly. “You just have a lot on your plate right now and I think you’re projecting it onto Lena.” 

“When did you become a therapist?” 

“When I spent the weekend with Mom without you after she found out about what I really do at the DEO and she made me talk about my feelings and tried to convince me to go back to med school.” 

Kara smiled. They both loved Eliza, but that was something Alex was never going to let her live down. 

“Seriously though, Kara, you’re just obsessing, it was probably nothing.” 

“Why are you so sure? A week ago you would’ve flipped out if I told you this.” 

“Because it was a _onesie_ , Kara. Isn’t she like a literal genius? If she wanted to drop hints that she knew, she’d do something bigger than that.” Alex said. 

She did make a good point. Lena always approached things with a _go big or go home_ attitude. 

“And she wasn’t what I expected her to be,” Alex added. “I think there’s a chance I might’ve been wrong about her.”

* * *

Lena sat on the living room floor, leaning against the couch, a bottle of wine, and nearly empty glass on the coffee table in front of her. She’d spent the past few days trying to sort everything out or at least figure out what she thought about the whole thing. She’d been able to come to a few conclusions, though she couldn’t be sure which one was true, and a few assumptions that she could only hope were real. 

She told herself Kara probably wasn’t trying to hurt her. Just because she had, hadn’t meant it was intentional. And she still believed she didn’t have a right to just go up to Supergirl and ask who she really was. But the more she thought about it and mulled it over, the more her mind twisted what had happened.

Lena drew the glass to her lips and closed her eyes as she took a sip. Her whole body ached with exhaustion. She needed to sleep, she’d been getting only two, maybe three hours, every night since she found out. And the hours she did get were filled with nightmares about her worst suspicions being right. Kara would tell her she’d never trusted her, that she knew she was just as evil and horrific as the rest of her family. And Lena would turn into the person she’d always feared becoming.

She’d wake up at three or four in the mourning, cold all over and covered in goosebumps, too afraid to go back to sleep. So she’d take a hot shower, drink, and try to get some work done. 

This was one of those nights, filled with sleepless unrest and desperation for answers she knew she may never get. Filling those blanks herself just wasn’t enough anymore. The conclusions were drawing all pointed in different directions, but all bad ones just the same. 

Either she was wrong for finding out and she was invading Kara’s privacy by knowing. She was manipulating her by keeping it to herself and as soon as Kara found out what she’d done, she’d despise her. 

Or even though Kara hadn’t done this to hurt her the way she feared, she still distrusted her. She still saw her as just another Luthor and wanted to keep her on a short leash to make sure she wouldn’t do anything wrong. 

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 

Every thought, every decision she made, it all felt wrong. She could feel herself falling deeper into an abyss of confusion and despair but she didn’t have the energy to try and climb back out. But even if she did, would she deserve to? 

She dug the pit herself. She’d set herself up for her own downfall. It was her own fault she was deteriorating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter was so short. I know it's really bad, I just needed to update it. I feel guilty when I can't post consistently and I don't want to let anyone down with this fic so I just wanted to get this one out of the way because it's basically just filler. The next one will be better though.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara begin to talk it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is another chapter that im not sure if I love or hate, so I really hope it's okay.

“Lydia, _please_ , you can’t stay in your jammies all day.” 

Lydia shook her head and hugged herself so Kara couldn’t reach the zipper of her onesie. It had been almost ten minutes of arguing now. Kara would ask if she would please help Lydia take her pajamas off and Lydia would whine and tell her no. Kara would ask why and Lydia would get even more upset and insist she wasn’t going to change.

It was an irritating cycle, but Kara wasn’t going to just take them off of her without permission. She’d been teaching Lydia to tell people _no_ when she didn’t want them to touch her and she didn’t want her to think physically making someone do something was okay. So she was stuck arguing with her _very_ stubborn toddler. 

“I want mama jammies,” she insisted. It was what she’d been calling the Supergirl onesie ever since she first saw it. At first, it absolutely melted Kara’s hard. It was less adorable though when she was about to be late to work and needed her daughter dressed before the sitter arrived. 

“I know, but you need to get dressed, you can wear whatever you want, it just has to be clothes,” Kara practically begged. 

“No!” She bounced up and down and whined, her defiance really starting to test Kara’s patience. 

“Lydia, ple--”

Lydia continued to jump up and down, but this time when she left the ground, she continued to hover in the air. Pulling her legs behind her, Lydia levitated on her stomach and let out a giggle. 

Kara’s jaw dropped as she tried to get her brain to start working again. Lydia was floating, she’d gone almost three years without showing any signs of inheriting Kara’s powers and now she was floating and giggling as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

“Mama, look!” She squealed. 

“Oh Rao you’re--” 

“I’m Supergirl!” 

Kara chuckled and nodded. She placed her hands on each side of Lydia’s stomach and pulled her back to the ground, holding her tightly on her lap so she wouldn’t float away. 

“You’re my little super baby,” she said, placing a kiss in Lydia’s hair. “I guess that means I can’t leave you with the sitter today, huh?” 

“I can wear my mama jammies?” 

Kara sighed. Only her kid would realize she had the ability to fly, laugh about it, and forget it even happened not even a minute later. 

“I guess so,” she said. 

Lydia’s refusal to get dressed was the least of her worries. Now, she needed to figure out how to strap a pillow onto her incase she floated up too high and hit the ceiling. 

* * *

Kara nervously adjusted her posture as she stood outside Lena’s penthouse with a container of matzah ball soup in her hand. 

She had been about to call in sick after Lydia started flying when she saw a text from Lena telling her she wasn’t feeling great and would be taking the day off, so Kara could work from home if she wanted. 

Kara immediately knew something had to be off. Lena never called in sick. She’d even heard from one of the other employees that once Lena came in with the flu because she had a board meeting that she refused to miss. She went through the entire day as normal, carrying a box of tissues wherever she went. Apparently she was seen throwing up in the trash can outside the conference room as soon as her meeting ended. So of course, Kara knew something was up. Either that or Lena actually was ill.

But regardless of what was going on, Kara could assume it was nothing good. So once Lydia was down for her nap, she got to work making Eliza’s matzah ball soup (without the chicken because she was pretty sure Lena was a vegetarian). It was a small gesture, but she thought she’d drop by Lena’s apartment to surprise her. And maybe that would help her feel even just a little better, no matter what she was dealing with. 

After she finished her work for the day, she dropped Lydia off at Alex and Maggie’s (still in her Supergirl onesies) and took the subway over to Lena’s. Now, she stood outside her door, trying to shake away her nerves that she’d built up over nothing. 

She knocked on the wood and cleared her throat, waiting a few seconds before Lena opened the door. She was clad in nothing but a bathrobe, her wet and tangled hair fell down past her shoulders, appearing as if she’d been halfway through brushing it. 

“Kara, what are you doing here?” She asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. 

“You said you weren’t feeling well, so I brought some matzah ball soup,” Kara said with a cheesy grin. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was younger, it’s the best comfort food ever.”

Lena gave a small smile as she accepted the tupperware. “Thank you, that’s really kind of you.” 

“It was nothing, and you’ve done so much for me lately, this was the least I could do.” 

Lena averted her gaze as her cheeks turned bright pink. It was eating away at her not saying anything and not doing anything. She hated it. She was just so tired of not knowing what to do and not knowing how to feel that she was finally starting to break under the pressure. 

“Would you like to come in?” 

“Oh-- I don’t want to intrude.”

Lena shook her head. “It’s alright, you’re not intruding at all,” she said and stepped aside so Kara could enter. She had to rip the bandaid off. If she didn’t say something now, she never would. 

“So how are you feeling?” Kara asked as Lena shut the door behind her. 

Although she didn’t look physically sick, there were dark circles under Lena’s eyes and a disconnect in her face. She may not have been ill, but Kara had been right. There was definitely something going on. 

“Better than I did this morning,” Lena paused as she put the soup in the fridge, unable to bring herself to make eye contact. “But still not great.” 

She stuffed her hands in her pockets and she made it back over to Kara, who was waiting for her in the living area. Gesturing to the couch, they both sat down in silence. 

“I’ve just been thinking a lot…” she began. “At first I wanted to wait until you were-- if you were ready to tell me yourself, but I-- I realized it’s not really fair of me to keep it to myself.” 

Kara straightened her back and bit her lip, trying to piece Lena’s words together. 

After a moment, Lena looked up at her and their eyes met. 

“I know,” she said softly. 

“You know?” 

Lena nodded. She could see Kara was still trying to piece it together, almost as if she were trying to deny it was actually true. 

“Oh,” she breathed once she realized what Lena meant. “How?” 

“Lydia. I turned on the tv for her and you-- Supergirl was on and she told me it was you. I didn’t believe her at first but I-- after a while, I couldn’t deny it.” 

Kara looked down at her hands, trying to figure out what to say. Lena knew. It was so simple to say, but she still couldn’t believe it. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I just thought you deserved to know that I know.”

“Thank you, I’m really glad you told me.” 

Lena nodded. 

“Do you… do you have any questions?” Kara asked. “Or just things that you… that you want to know?” 

“I don’t really think I’m entitled to that,” Lena said with a small smile. 

“It’s okay, if there’s anything I’m not comfortable answering, I’ll tell you.” 

“Well... there is one thing.” 

“What is it?” 

Lena drew in a breath and folded her hands together, pressing her nails into her skin. “I-- I get why you hid it from me and I’m not mad I just… you told me you would never let Lex hurt me. When you said it… when you said all those things… did you mean it? Or were you just saying it because you felt like you had to?” 

Kara’s face fell as the words left Lena’s mouth. She always knew her secret would be hard on Lena. She just never realized how bad it would hurt to hear the way Lena was thinking when she found out. 

“I meant it,” Kara said. She could hear how quickly Lena’s heart was beating and see the way her hands were quivering. She wished she could hold them until she was steady again. But she was too scared to move. 

“Everything I told you I meant.”

Lena nodded and looked down at her lap. She couldn’t seem to form the words to thank her. 

“There’s something else though.” 

Lena drew in a breath, preparing herself for the worst. 

“When I initially accepted the job I…” Kara inhaled, feeling her eyes fill with tears. She knew she had to say it, but when she did Lena was going to be absolutely heartbroken. “I work for this government agency-- Supergirl does. And when you moved to National City my sister, who also works there, was worried you might be a threat.” 

Kara looked up at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry. “And I needed a second job because they don’t pay enough to support a child and I-- Alex found out you were looking for a new assistant…” her voice trailed off into nothingness. She didn’t need to say it out loud for Lena to know. 

“So you came to keep an eye on me?” 

Kara nodded. “I didn’t realize when we met that you would be so genuine in your intentions. I was never comfortable with it to begin with it, and as soon as I got to know you, I told Alex I didn’t want to do it anymore.”

“I understand why Alex would think that,” Lena said, her voice breaking.

“But she was wrong,” Kara said softly. “We both were, you are _so_ much more than our assumptions. And I know that doesn’t excuse it, but I promise, it’s true.” 

“So game night… was that real? Or did you just invite me to--” Lena stopped and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m not angry I… I just want to know why.”

“That was real. I wanted Alex to see you the way I do,” Kara blinked back her tears as she watched Lena, who was staring at her lap, begging herself not to cry. “I know this doesn’t make it better but I-- I never meant to hurt you and I’m so sorry that I did.”

Lena let out a shaky breath as her tears began to fall. To hear it all said out loud, she could feel the ground begin to crumble beneath her feet. 

She didn’t care about the secret, she never had. Kara was entitled to her privacy, it was her right to keep Supergirl to herself. It was everything else that she couldn’t handle. 

For as long as she could remember she’d been a disappointment, a burden, not good enough, not strong enough. Then Lex went crazy, and instead of being weak, people looked at her as if she were just as evil as him, as if she were just as cruel and vicious.

But then there was Kara. Kara, who trusted her with her daughter, the most precious part of her life, and told her she was good. She told her she was nothing like her family and she never would be. And when it came from her, Lena could almost believe her. 

So no, she wasn’t angry. She wouldn’t hold a grudge. Now, she just had the confirmation that all her life, everyone had been right about her. 

“I’m sorry too,” she said. If it was true, if everyone really had been right, she had to start fixing it now. “There had to have been a reason you felt that away about me but I… I really do want to be good.” 

Kara nodded. “I know and you are. There are still things you need to learn but Lena, you do everything with the best of heart, you are the farthest thing there is from bad.”

“If I did anything to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, Kara, I’m so sorry,” Lena said and looked up at her, tears falling freely down her face. “I swear, I never meant to.” 

Her breath caught in her throat as she thought about the alien detection device and how when she’d presented it, Lydia reached for it and got so close to grabbing it. She couldn’t imagine the fear Kara must’ve felt, the fear that she’d caused. 

“We both made mistakes and we both have room to grow,” Kara said as she wiped her eyes. “And I know trust is hard for you, but I hope I can earn yours again.” 

“I hope I can earn yours too.” 

“Can I hug you?” Kara asked, smiling through her tears. 

Lena nodded and leaned into her embrace. It felt different this time. Still warm, but different. It almost made her crave her long-gone oblivion. But even though ignorance was bliss, Lena never had been one to take the easy way out. And she wanted to make this right, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize I've made some mistakes in my past few chapters. The feelings Lena's having about Kara's secret aren't of anger or resentment towards her, she knows she wasn't entitled to knowing. She's just been hurt by so many people in her life that it's practically engraved in her brain that she's bad. So when she found out about Kara, her instinct was to go back to what she'd been hearing her whole life, which was that she's a bad person. She was also supposed to be in shock the last few chapters and because of that hasn't really been processing everything properly. But I hope this chapter made it kind of better, and I apologize if I wasn't able to make that come across in chapters 7 and 8.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena helps Kara start to figure out Lydia's powers.

Having a floating daughter brought on way more issues than Kara could’ve ever imagined. 

For one thing, there was no way she could comfortably let Lydia stay home with a babysitter. The DEO wasn’t an option either, as it didn’t offer daycare. And obviously L Corp was out of the question too. Lena was kind to let her take Lydia in once, but having her their long term would be way too distracting. And after their conversation, bringing her in again would be taking advantage of Lena’s generosity. Kara wanted to fix things between them, not make everything worse. Besides, Lydia needed time to play and run around and be a little kid, keeping her stuffed in an office today would be unfair to her too. 

Then, there was the recent discovery that Lydia was a sleep floater. Some kids talked in their sleep or fell out of their beds, Lydia flew around the house. 

Kara found out when she’d wandered into the kitchen at one in the morning for a glass of water and almost had a heart attack seeing Lydia hovering over the middle of the kitchen, curled up as if she were still in bed, completely unconscious. 

After that incident, Kara could hardly sleep at all for fear that her daughter might fly into a piece of furniture and hurt herself. 

This wasn’t to say being a single mom had ever been easy. Kara had always somewhat struggled with raising Lydia on her own. She never had enough time to do everything that needed to be done and they were always running late no matter where they were going. The apartment was never clean, they never had enough groceries, and the moment Kara caught up on one thing, she started to fall behind on another. Bit by bit, it started to eat away at her. She didn’t know what to do, having a ‘normal’ daughter with no help had already been hard. But Kara wasn’t going to let Lydia’s powers be something she wasn’t able to handle. So she called the one person she thought might be able to figure something out.

* * *

Lena led them into a small room in the corner of her lab. It looked like a doctor’s office, only more modern and without the medical equipment. The white walls were bare and the air smelled of Clorox wipes. It made Kara nervous even though she knew there was nothing to be afraid of. 

“You can put Lydia on the exam bed there,” Lena said, gesturing to the table. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” Kara said as she helped Lydia out of her stroller. 

“Why?”

“I know you need space right now and this can’t be helping. I can go as soon as we’re done, you were just the only person I could think of that might be able to help,” Kara explained. 

“It’s okay,” Lena said and put on a pair of blue medical gloves. “I know it can’t be easy trying to figure this out on your own.”

Kara nodded and placed Lydia down. The toddler didn’t even notice, she was so focused on looking around, taking in every bit of Lena’s space. It was in the basement of L Corp, an area only open to Lena. She’d renovated it and turned the rest of the floor into a lab, a place that was preserved for testing and developing new technology. She’d told Kara this was where she did human tests once she knew her work was safe enough to be tried on people. 

It felt odd being down there, illegal almost. As if they were being let in on some sort of secret lair. But Lena didn’t seem to mind, or at least she hid her real feelings well. 

“Hey, Lydia, we’re gonna play some games, how does that sound?” Lena asked, immediately getting a smile out of the little girl. 

“We can play house?” Lydia asked excitedly. 

Lena tilted her head from side to side. “In a little bit we can, but right now, I want to play Simon Says, do you know how to do that?” 

Lydia nodded. “We do it at ‘nastics!” 

“We do a mommy and me gymnastics class,” Kara clarified when she saw Lena’s puzzled expression. 

“Oh, well Kara, can you play Simon Says too? It would be really helpful.” 

“Of course, whatever you need.” 

Lena smiled and lifted Lydia up, setting her back on the ground next to her mom. 

“Okay, Simon says jump as high as you can,” Lena said, reaching her arms up for emphasis. 

Kara and Lena both jumped, Lydia kicking her legs and scrunching up her face to focus. After a second, Kara came back to the ground but Lydia continued to fly. 

“I win,” she laughed from two feet above Kara and Lena. 

Lena had to stop herself from staring in amazement. She’d never seen anything like this before. A toddler that could fly? It was unheard of! 

Before she could say anything, Kara pushed off the ground, levitating up to where Lydia was and wrapping her in a hug so she could pull her back to the ground. 

“Sorry, it just makes me nervous when she’s up there for too long,” she said, still holding Lydia close to her chest. 

“It’s alright, does she know how to come down on her own yet?” Lena asked. 

Kara shook her head. “She can sometimes but she doesn’t do anything on command. If I tell her to fly she can’t but when she jumps up and down or sneezes, she starts to float.” 

“When she sneezes?” 

Kara nodded with a small chuckle. “Yup. When she sneezes.” 

She’d been making breakfast when Lydia had let out a loud sneeze. It only took a second for Kara to turn away from the stove, and when she did, Lydia was flying a few feet off the ground and picking her nose as if nothing had happened. 

“Has she shown any other signs of having your… abilities?” Lena asked. 

“No, just flying,” Kara said. “I guess it makes sense though, her dad’s a human so she’s only half Kryptonian. If he was from Krypton or another planet with a red sun, she would’ve had powers since she was a newborn.” 

Lena hesitated and bit her lip. She’d never worked with a half-alien half-human before, at least that she knew of. Lydia’s human genetics were certainly going to make her job harder. But she wouldn’t let that phase her. Kara needed her help. And this was her chance to start rebuilding their relationship. 

“Okay, well we’re just going to have to figure this out together, right Lydia?” She said, smiling reassuringly. 

They went through about an hour of different tests (or games, as Lena called them) before Lydia started to fuss and they decided it was time to stop for the day. Lena only had a small idea of what powers had been passed onto Lydia, but it was better than nothing. She did think that there was a possibility that Lydia might continue to develop them as she got older though, and they might just be delayed due to her human DNA. Thankfully, she agreed to keep experimenting until they had it all figured out.

So far there were no signs of freeze breath or heat vision. Lydia also didn’t seem to have super strength, but she was stronger than the average two-year-old. Lena estimated if they started actively working on it with her, she might be able to develop the physical abilities of an above-average middle schooler before she turned four. 

Lena also still needed more time to come up with tests she could do on Lydia’s hearing and vision, which would take a little while because she didn’t try anything that might be unsafe on her. But Kara felt, for now, they were in a good place and she didn’t want to push Lena too far. With everything that had happened, she was so grateful Lena agreed to help her out at all. She didn’t want to ruin this by asking for too much.

* * *

“Thank you so much for doing all this, it really does mean a lot.” 

Lena nodded. “Of course.” 

“And if helping me makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to keep doing it, I can--”

“Kara, this is science. I’m helping you, but I’m learning. If we were just hanging out, then it might be weird, but for now, this is fine,” Lena cut her off. She hesitated when she realized the way the words sounded, making it seem like Lydia were some sort of research project. It wasn’t that way at all, she still lo-- cared for both of them, even if things were strained now. 

“And just because things are different now doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you and Lydia,” Lena added. 

Kara nodded. “You know you can be mad, right?” She asked, her voice soft and slow. “You said you aren’t but you’re allowed to be mad, I would be if I were you.” 

Lena looked down at her lap and picked at her sandwich. When they finished their first round of tests, Lydia started asking for lunch and without thinking, Kara suggested they all get food from the sandwich stand in the park. 

Lena didn’t want to go. If she could’ve, she would’ve gone straight home and curled up in bed. Sorting out her feelings was hard enough on its own but having to pretend she had everything figured out in front of an audience was just too much. But Lydia got so excited and she begged  _ Wena _ to come. And Kara looked so hopeful that she’d say yes that she couldn’t decline. So now they were in the park, watching Lydia run around and chase pigeons with another little boy as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

“I don’t know… maybe on some level I am.”

_ More than anything, it just hurts. _

“But I know you had a reason for watching me so every time I try to make myself angry at you, it all comes back to me.” 

Kara didn’t respond. She’d been there many times before, she knew how painful it was. Hell, she was there after she got pregnant and tried so hard to despise Lydia’s father. 

For most of their relationship, he’d been amazing. He told her he loved her and charmed all her friends and family. They were all blinded by his charm, no one had any idea what was going on. It took months before he started to change. The progression was so slow, Kara hardly noticed it herself until one day after a particularly bad argument, she realized he was nothing like the man she’d fallen in love with.

He was cold and short-tempered, someone she could never raise a child with. And when she tried to leave and he told her she’d never find anyone to love her the way he did, she believed him. 

She tried so hard to hate him. She knew he was wrong and she knew he had no right to treat her that way. But the thought of resenting him meant she’d have to resent herself too. Because she was the one who let him walk all over her, day after day, month after month. She let it go on until she got pregnant and realized she couldn’t let him anywhere near her baby. 

Now, almost three years later, it was still hard to think about. She still couldn’t bring herself to call him terrible without that little voice creeping back into her head, telling her she was just as bad. So even though it wasn’t the same as what Lena was going through, she knew exactly what she was feeling. 

“I had a reason at first but it was still wrong,” Kara said. “And if you are mad, I completely understand.” 

Lena gave a small smile. “Thank you. I’ve always been told getting upset was a weakness, so I… thank you.” 

Kara opened her mouth to respond, but before she could get a word out, Lydia came running towards her at full speed. She tripped over her own feet and fell onto the grass in front of Kara’s lap, pausing on the ground for a second to process what happened. She got back up and wiped the grass off her knees, bouncing back as if nothing happened. 

“Mama, I made a friend!” She said excitedly, picking up Kara’s water bottle and holding it out for her to open it. 

“You did?” Kara asked as she opened the bottle and handed it back to her. 

“Yeah, he’s this many,” she said, holding up four fingers. 

“Wow, he’s big,” Kara said with a chuckle. 

“Play chase me, Mama?” 

“Not right now, muffin, I’m still eating lunch.” 

“Lena chase me?” 

Lena looked over at Kara as if to ask for her permission. Kara nodded in affirmation and Lena looked back to Lydia, smiling up at her. 

“Sure, how do we play?” 

“I run and you chase me!” 

“So it’s like tag?” 

Lydia shook her head. “No, it’s chase me.” 

“And I’m warning you now, she’s very fast,” Kara said, shooting Lydia a grin. “Right Lyds?” 

Lydia nodded. “I’m faster than Mama.”

“Alright, I’ll play, just give me a second,” Lena said. She stood up and shook off her heels, very grateful that she’d worn pants today. “Okay, I’m gonna get you!”

Lydia took off, squealing loudly as Lena chased her through the grass. It really was a sight, Lena in her pants suit and slicked back ponytail, chasing around Lydia in her mud-stained overalls. 

Kara laughed to herself and leaned back against her elbows as Lena picked Lydia up and spun her around. Lydia wrapped her arms around her neck, hugging her while she giggled, yelling  _ again, again, again. _ Lena beamed from ear to ear as she tossed her up in the air and spun her around once more. 

“Mama, come play!” Lydia called out through her giggles. 

Kara couldn’t possibly say no. She got up and jogged over to them, taking Lydia from Lena and holding her up in the air as if they were in  _ The Lion King. _

“Lena, look, I’m flying!” Lydia exclaimed, reaching for Lena’s hands.    
Lena laughed as she took Lydia’s tiny hands in her own. Even though things with Kara were strained, the three of them being together felt so natural. She almost wished it could be like all the time. Maybe when everything was better it could be, she could only hope it would all work out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about how long it took to get this one up, I'm kind of dealing with a lot right now so idk how consistent updates can be but I'm going to try to keep them coming. Also, ik this was kind of a mess I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore :/


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara sees Lena is clearly out of it and tries to tell her to take the day off work. Lena surprisingly listens and ends up talking to someone else about her internal dilemma about Kara. And of course, some fluff with Kara, Lena, and Lydia. 
> 
> Trigger warning- talk of skipping meals/avoiding food, and just bad coping mechanisms in general.

“Wait… this is wrong.” 

“What? Which part?” 

“The interview with that reporter-- the one we had to reschedule, that’s supposed to be Wednesday.” 

“Lena, it is Wednesday.” 

Lena paused and handed the tablet back to Kara. “Oh, well then I guess it’s good.”

Kara nodded slowly and tried to look Lena over without her noticing. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Lena nodded. “I’m fine, I promise.” 

She put her head in her hand and stifled a yawn. She knew it was only a matter of time before the sleepless nights and meals she’d ‘forgotten’ to eat started to catch up to her. She just thought that when it did, it’d be easier to muddle through. 

“I just have a bit of a headache, that’s all.” 

“Do you want me to get you an Advil or something?”

Lena shook her head. “No thanks, I’ll be alright.” 

Kara sighed and took a seat on the chair across from Lena’s desk. “I’m not trying to be rude, but Lena, you don’t look good.” 

Lena didn’t say anything. She looked up at Kara, the bags under her eyes juxtaposing against her pale skin. All her features looked faded as if she were slowly disappearing from reality. 

“You should take the rest of the day off-- I can rearrange your schedule so you won’t miss anything, it’s no trouble.” 

“I’m just tired, I’ve been up late working. I’ll go to bed early tonight and it’ll be alright.” 

Kara raised an eyebrow. It didn’t take a genius to know Lena wasn’t going to stick to her plan. 

“No, you’re not.” 

“Okay fine, I’m not. But I promise Kara, I’m okay.”

Kara didn’t say anything. She knew no amount of going back and forth was going to get Lena to listen to her.

“And, there’s something I need to show you,” Lena changed the subject. “It’s way more exciting than my headache, trust me.”

“What is it?” 

She picked up a pair of toddler-sized yellow rain boots with a ladybug over the toes and set them down on her desk. 

“They’re weighted with lead in the bottom so Lydia won’t be able to float away unexpectedly. They’re light enough that they won’t make it hard for her to walk or obstruct any movement, but they’ll keep her on the ground when she’s with a babysitter or her friends,” Lena explained. “I’m also working on a pair of socks so she’ll have something to wear inside and during the summer, but for now these should work until I’m able to finish them.” 

Kara beamed ear to ear as she picked up one of the boots. It wasn’t heavy at all, it felt just like the shoes she normally wore. 

“Lena I-- I don’t know what to say, this is amazing,” she breathed. “She’s going to love them so much.” 

Lena blushed and looked down at her hands. “I hope so… kids’ clothing isn’t really my area of expertise.” 

“Well she loves the onesie you bought her, she wears it almost every night.”

“Really?” 

Kara nodded. “She refuses to take it off.” 

Lena smiled. It may have felt as if the world were upside down, but knowing her petty joke had made Lydia that happy, helped more than she ever thought it could. 

“Now, are you sure you’re alright to stay for the rest of the day?” Kara asked. 

Lena hesitated. Maybe just one afternoon off couldn’t hurt, as long as she didn’t make a habit of it. And she could get everything done from home after downing a few Tylenol’s. She’d made it work. She always did. 

“Actually… there is someone you can call.”

* * *

“The only painkillers I have are for kids so maybe take three instead of one,” Sam said as she handed Lena the bottle. 

“Thanks.” Lena poured three pills into her hands and swallowed them dry, grimacing as she put the vial back onto the coffee table. 

“Have you eaten today?”

“Yes.” 

“You’re lying,” Sam said confidently. “There’s spaghetti in the fridge if you want any. And no, there isn’t any meat in it.” 

Lena smiled, pushing down a yawn and relaxed against the sofa. “I’ve missed you,” she mumbled, resting her head in her hand. 

“I missed you too.” Sam placed a hand on Lena’s knee and gave it a squeeze. “It’s not the same just texting and face-timing.” 

Lena nodded. “I know.” 

Ever since they were in high school, Sam had been her person. Not romantically (they tried it for a week and it didn’t work) but in all other ways. They knew almost everything about each other, they fought like sisters but looked out for each other more than their real families ever did. They even lived with each other briefly when Lena turned eighteen and had nowhere to go but couldn’t take being with the Luthor’s any longer. Sam was there for her, she always was. And Lena was by her side whenever she needed a friend. 

“So tell me, who got you so shaken up that you’re here instead of the office on a Wednesday afternoon?” Sam asked, crossing her legs on the couch. 

“How do you know it’s a person?”

Sam tilted her head and smiled softly. She’d known Lena well enough that, even when they hadn’t seen each other in person for over a month, her nonverbal cues were louder than any words could ever be, even if Lena didn’t know she was giving them. 

“If it was work that was stressing you out, you wouldn’t dare leave the office. Your poor assistant would probably find you passed out and drooling over piles and piles of paperwork after you basically started living there.” 

“Hey!” Lena playfully punched Sam in the arm. “I’m not that crazy.” 

Sam laughed and shrugged. “If you were actually sick, you would probably still be at L Corp, even if you were throwing up outside the conference room after every meeting.” 

Lena made a face. “You heard about that?” She asked and began to bite her nails. It was scary how well Sam could read her sometimes. 

“Yeah, you’re insane,” Sam said with a nod. “And that’s why I know all this has to be about a person. I don’t know if it’s a friend or a girlfriend, but when something goes wrong between you and someone else you have the tendency to…” her voice trailed off as she looked Lena over carefully. 

“To hyper fixate on it in a way that isn’t always healthy.” 

“I’m not--” 

“Lena, I don’t know what happened. You probably have every right to be upset, and all you need to do is just say the word, and I will beat whoever made you feel this way to a pulp,” Sam cut her off, getting a small chuckle out of Lena. “But when you get hurt, you stop eating and sleeping and taking care of yourself and you let it control you.” 

Lena looked down at her lap. She hated that Sam was right. 

“I just don’t know what’s real and what I’ve made up…” she whispered. “I know what I’m doing isn’t good but I don’t know how else to figure it out.” 

Sam nodded and smiled sadly. “I get that and it’s not your fault. You have been betrayed and let down so many times that you have every right to be scared and confused and whatever else you’re feeling.”

Lena bit her lip. There was about to be a _but_ , there always was with these kinds of things. 

“But the way you’re dealing with it… it isn’t good for you.” 

“So what do I do?” 

“I’m not sure,” Sam said honestly. “But before we figure it out, you’re going to eat because the first thing to go whenever you get stressed is food.” 

“Okay,” Lena mumbled. The thought of eating anything right now made her feel sick to her stomach. But she knew Sam was right. It had been over a day since she’d had a proper meal and the longer she put it off the worse it was going to feel when she finally had one again. And hopefully then, once she’d gotten over the worst part of this funk, she’d start thinking about things rationally again.

* * *

Kara tilted Lydia’s head back and poured a cup of water over her hair. 

“I can’t believe you got into my paints,” she grumbled as she tried to scrub the blue streaks out of Lydia’s hair. They’d been posed like that for the past fifteen minutes or so, Lydia in the bathtub, playing with her mermaid barbie and rubber duck, while Kara tried to scrub away all the paint that she’d somehow managed to smear over almost every inch of her body. Each time Kara thought they were finally done, a new spot of purple or blue appeared somewhere Kara could’ve sworn she’d already cleaned. It was an exhausting cycle, but Lydia’s cheerful chatter was enough to keep Kara from giving up. 

“You shouldn’t even be able to reach them,” she mumbled to herself. Kara paused and looked her daughter in the eye. “Did you float up to my paints, muffin?” 

“I dunno,” Lydia responded and shrugged innocently. 

Kara sighed and squirted more shampoo into her hand so she could begin to wash the toddler's hair once more. They’d always had a ‘ _no shoes in the house’_ rule so now that Kara was asking Lydia to wear Lena’s rainboots inside, it was very confusing for her and ultimately ended up in a refusal to put them on at all. 

“Maybe tomorrow we can get some paints that are just for you, how does that sound?” Kara asked. She knew it wasn’t Lydia’s fault, even if the outcome of the mess was disastrous. Lydia was too young to understand that things were put out of her reach for a reason and maybe paints of her own would be a temporary fix. 

Lydia shrugged once more.

“We could make hand turkeys, that would be fun, right?”

“I miss Lena,” Lydia randomly muttered as she sloshed around in the water. 

“You miss Lena?” Kara repeated.

Lydia nodded. 

“But we saw her yesterday,” Kara said. 

However, she would be lying if she said she didn’t miss Lena too. Maybe not miss her, that wasn’t the right word. But she looked forward to her. She couldn’t have the old Lena back, the one who didn’t know about her. And that was for the best. Lena was growing and changing with her. So Kara looked forward to the Lena she’d get to see when and if she forgave her. When they could be friends again and hang out for reasons other than to dampen Lydia’s powers or teach her to control them. She looked forward to being able to give her a hug and for Lena to hug her back, not because she felt like she had to, but because she wanted to. There were so many things Kara looked forward too, sometimes it was almost hard to think about anything else. 

“She can come back?” Lydia asked hopefully.

“Come back where?” 

“Lena can come home?” 

Kara sighed and smiled sadly. “Our home isn’t Lena’s home, muffin.” 

Lydia looked at Kara in disbelief, as if that couldn’t possibly be true. “Then where's she live?” 

“Lena has her own apartment, just like we do,” Kara said as she rinsed the last bit of shampoo out of the little girl's hair. “Alright, Lyds, you’re all done.”

She lifted her up and Lydia immediately clung to her, getting her clothes all wet. Kara couldn’t help but grin as she placed her down on the bath mat. It was a nuisance sure, to have a wet baby refuse to let go of her, but Lydia was so sweet and so loving, it made her beam with pride regardless of the situation. 

“It’s a good ‘partment?” Lydia asked, she wrapped her arms around herself and shivered dramatically while Kara grabbed her Winnie The Pooh towel off the hook on the door.

“It’s a very good apartment,” Kara said, pulling Lydia onto her lap and beginning to dry her off.

“With stuffies?” 

Kara nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure she’s got tons of stuffed animals.” 

Lydia giggled. “But she’s a grown-up!” 

“Grown-ups can have stuffed animals,” Kara contradicted. “I have a stuffie, remember?” 

“Oh yeah,” Lydia said with a grin. She curled up against Kara and put her thumb in her mouth. “Mama?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I still miss Lena.” 

“Well I’m here, I’ve got you,” Kara said and rubbed her back soothingly. Lydia’s attachment was only natural, Kara understood this. It was just surprising. Lydia had always been so clingy. Kara assumed it was because she was the only parental figure in Lydia’s life that Lydia latched onto her so intensely. And even though she knew this didn’t mean she loved her any less, Kara couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous of Lena, no matter how silly it was. 

“I want both,” Lydia buried her face in Kara’s chest. “Mama and Lena.” 

“I know baby girl, we’ll see her again soon.”

* * *

Kara wasn’t sure how Lydia ended up convincing her to do it, but once she was in her pajamas (the Supergirl onesie Lena bought), they sat down on the couch, Lydia snug in Kara’s lap with Kara’s phone to FaceTime Lena. 

“Remember, Lena isn’t feeling well, so what are we gonna do?” Kara asked, her thumb hovering over the _call_ button. 

“Say hi?” 

Kara nodded. “Yup, and what else?” 

“Say I hope your boo-boo gets better.” 

“Good girl, what are we not gonna do?” 

Lydia paused for a minute to think. “Ask for a book?” 

Kara nodded once more. “Yeah, and we gotta be fast so Lena can get her rest, okay?”

“I know, Mama.” 

Kara smiled and kissed Lydia on the head before pressing the call button. It took a few rings, but Lena eventually picked up. She smiled as she answered the phone. The bags under her eyes were still there and she still looked exhausted, but Kara could tell she seemed happier. Even though it was a small change, it was an improvement nonetheless. She was glad she’d pushed her to take the afternoon off. 

Kara could also tell Lena was wearing Kara’s NCU sweatshirt, but from what she could see, Lena wasn’t in her apartment. She didn’t bring it up though, she knew it wasn’t appropriate. 

“Hey, Lena, I’m sorry to bother you, Lydia was missing you so I told her she could say hi very quickly before she goes to bed, I hope that’s okay.” 

Lena nodded as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “It’s perfectly fine. I miss you too Lydia, and you, Kara.” 

“Lena, we can do bedtime stories?” Lydia asked eagerly, barely giving Lena a chance to finish her sentence. 

“Lydia, remember what we talked about?” Kara asked. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Lena, I hope the boo-boo feels better,” Lydia said. “Can we read now?” 

“Lydia--”

“It’s alright,” Lena said, her smile never wavering, while Kara mouthed _I’m so sorry,_ back at her. “I can do one book. Do you have any requests?”

“Princesses Wear Pants!” Lydia exclaimed without a moment of hesitation. 

Lena chuckled and nodded at her eager response, telling her to wait one second while she found a copy online. After a few moments, Lena began to read and both Kara and Lydia instantly relaxed. Lydia let out a long yawn and put the binky she’d been playing with between her lips, her eyelids already hanging low. Kara smiled down on her as she curled up against her chest, listening to the sound of Lena’s soft soothing voice flow like honey.

It was so easy now to understand why Lydia was always asking Lena to read to her. The sound of her calming tone was enough to help anyone fall asleep. It was like a warm blanket Kara would never grow sick of. She could listen to her talk forever, regardless of the subject. 

By the time Lena finished the story, Lydia was fast asleep and Kara had to keep reminding herself to stay awake. 

“Thank you,” she said through a stifled yawn. “That meant a lot… to Lydia.”

Lena smiled and nodded. “Anytime. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Kara waved and hung up. She set her phone down beside her and mindlessly stroked Lydia’s hair. Perhaps it was just because the sound of Lena’s voice had sent her into some sort of trance, but Kara was looking forward to all her future moments with Lena just a little more than normal. And for once, she didn’t try to fight the feeling away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send an F in the chat for James Olsen who keeps trying to schedule interviews with Lena and she cancels every time.  
> But anyways I hope you liked this, I thought it would be good for Lena to get to talk to someone about everything other than Kara, just so she can get some different perspectives. Also, I hecking love Sam. And I really hope this was good because today was my last day to finish my school work and I half-assed everything so I could write instead.  
> Also totally irrelevant side note, Princesses Wear Pants is a real children's book that I read to a seven-year-old I babysit. It's definitely the kind of thing Kara would have for Lydia because it's about breaking gender roles but in a way that little kids can understand, and I feel like Lena would absolutely love it. Kara's raising a little feminist queen no one can tell me otherwise.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skipping the summary for this one bc idek how to describe it. This chapter is pretty short and so far out of my comfort zone so it might be a total mess, but it's just setting up for the next chapter. Also, I finally have a plan for the next few chapters which is good. But yeah, I hope this isn't too terrible.

“How did this happen?” Kara mumbled to herself as she rushed from Lena’s bedside to Lydia’s. A Disney movie was playing on a laptop that sat on the foot of her bed. She was covered in her favorite blanket and was holding a stuffed tiger; Alex must’ve gone back to Kara’s apartment to get them for her. 

“I’m so sorry, muffin, this was all my fault.” 

Lydia rolled onto her side, calmly playing with her lollipop stem while Kara traced the edges of the bandage on her forehead with her index finger.

“I got a boo-boo?” 

Kara nodded, blinking back her tears. It hurt so much to see her daughter in pain. And to know it could’ve all been prevented. If she’d just been able to push through a little longer; if she could’ve gotten Lena to safety earlier or come to her aid after the first text. If she hadn’t left her phone at her desk and she’d seen Alex’s texts. Maybe none of it would’ve happened.

“Yeah, but you’re gonna be just fine. Alex is taking good care of you,” Kara said, running her fingers through Lydia’s blonde curls. 

“I was brave?” Lydia asked. Kara nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“You were so brave, Lydia.”

She smiled sadly, trying to keep up her positivity for the sake of her daughter. But inside, she could feel everything come crumbling down. Lena and Lydia were both in the DEO medical ward all because of her. All because of a few seconds.

It still didn’t make any sense. Everything had started out normal, Lena was back at work and she seemed so much more relaxed than she had been the past few days. She seemed so much more present. She was happy to be at work and almost seemed happy to be around Kara. Kara had even told herself that things were starting to get better between them. Everything had been fine this morning, not just fine-- good. She didn’t understand how all that could’ve disappeared so quickly. 

Maybe if she’d just been there sooner, if she’d done something differently. Maybe none of it would’ve happened.

* * *

Lena was going to a conference at Obsidian Tech.

That was how their morning started. She stopped in at L Corp, said hi to Kara, and grabbed everything she’d need for the rest of her day. When she left, Kara stayed back at the office, arranging a hotel, private plane, and all the other little details that came along with Lena’s business trip to Midvale that they’d be attending in two weeks. She’d been invited to give a TedTalk on biochemical engineering and the obstacles she’d faced being a woman rising to the top in a male-dominated industry. So while Lena met with potential L Corp investors, Kara made sure everything pertaining to that trip was taken care of. 

It was a good system, they’d both decided. They’d be killing two birds with one stone. So they went about their days as normal, Kara at L Corp and Lena on her way to her conference. 

Kara was on the phone with a hotel manager when she got the first text. The grey bubble popped up on her computer, her breath catching in her throat as she read it. 

_I think I’m being followed. You don’t need to come, I might be wrong, but I’m not sure._

“I’m so sorry, can I call you back?” Kara asked and hung up the phone. She typed a response as quickly as she could, tapping her foot anxiously while she waited for Lena to get back to her. 

_Is there a store you can go into? Someplace safe where you can wait?_

_Not that I can tell._

_Okay, don’t worry, I’ll be there in a minute._

Within a second, Kara had changed into her super suit and was ready to fly out the window when her phone buzzed with another text from Lena. 

_No, what if he has a weapon and he sees you?_

_I’ll be fine, I just don’t want to risk you getting hurt. I’m on my way._

She left her phone in her desk drawer and shot out the window, using the sound of Lena’s heartbeat to navigate her way through the city. She’d get rid of the creep, make sure Lena got to Obsidian Tech safely, and resume the day as normal. 

Lena wrapped her arms around herself as she began to walk even faster. The city blocks were starting to blur, her sense of direction quickly dissolving. She could feel him behind her, watching her every move. She needed to get out. It didn’t matter where she went anymore, as long as she was away from here.

The urge to look behind her became stronger as the sound of his footsteps grew louder. The impulse to run was getting harder and harder to resist. Lena could practically feel him breathing down her neck, his presence growing stronger with every passing second. But she couldn’t do anything that would let him know she was scared. It would give him too much power.

She checked her phone once more, the only thing keeping her calm being the text from Kara telling her she’d be there soon. She read it over and over again, reminding herself that once Kara got there it would all be okay. 

There was another new message, telling her there was a Barnes & Noble a few blocks away and to hide out there. 

Lena stuffed her phone back into her pocket and looked up at the sky, seeing a distant figure directly above her. Kara was there, she was going to help. She was safe.

She took a deep breath as she kept walking, the Barnes & Noble now in her line of vision. She could hear Kara touch down on the pavement behind her. The sound causing her entire body to fill with tension. But she didn’t let herself stop. Not until she heard a pained gasp leave Kara’s lips did she turn around and lunge towards her without even thinking. 

“Lena, keep going,” Kara said through gritted teeth. Her hand was balled into a fist and from where she stood, Lena could see green veins running up her arms. 

He was holding a knife. The man who’d been trailing her held a shiny green blade between his fingers, one that seemed to cause Kara unbearable pain without even touching her. 

It was kryptonite, she recognized it instantly from Lex’s old stash. 

“What do you want?” Lena said sharply, ignoring Kara’s order and standing protectively in front of her. 

He grabbed Lena’s wrist and pulled her close, his voice low as he spoke so he wouldn’t draw any attention. 

“I’m here to take you back.” 

“Yeah, well, she’s not going anywhere,” Kara said, flying towards him and pushing him over. He groaned in pain as he hit the ground, not bothering to try and escape Kara, who had him pinned down and her knee on his stomach. He didn’t have to. All he had to do was hold the knife up to her neck. He didn’t cut her, the presence of the kryptonite alone was enough.

“Lena, go,” Kara yelled, her vision becoming blurred by the green light. The blade wasn’t even touching her, but she could feel the sharp edge searing through her skin as the kryptonite pierced through her veins. 

And before she knew it, she was being pushed off of him. Her head hit the pavement as she pressed the button on her watch that would call for backup from the DEO. She sat back up, ready to fight back, but her head throbbing and the world seemed to spin around her. She’d never had a reaction this bad to such a small amount of Kryptonite before, it seemed to swallow her every movement. But she had to keep going, she had to help Lena. 

A loud scream echoed in Kara’s ears, the last thing she heard before everything went black.

* * *

“Lena… where’s Lena?” 

Kara slowly opened her eyes and covered her face with her hand, the light from the red sunlamp temporarily blinding her. 

“I need… Lena... I need to see her.”

“She’s alright, she’s in the med bay.” 

Kara held her breath as she sat up, seeing Alex sitting on the bench across from her bed. 

“What? Why?” 

“When she pushed you away from her attacker he… she got cut.” 

Kara jumped off of her bed, every muscle in her body burning in agony as she hit the floor. “She got stabbed. Oh, Rao I-- this was all my fault,” she said, bringing her hands up to her forehead as her eyes filled with tears. If only she’d been able to withstand the kryptonite a little longer. She should’ve been able to fight back. Alex trained her to fight back when her powers were dampened, she shouldn’t have let this happen. 

“She didn’t get stabbed. The knife slashed her abdomen but it missed all her major organs and arteries. She needs to rest for a few days, but she’s going to be alright,” Alex explained. She took Kara’s hand in her own and smiled reassuringly. “You also need to rest. The kryptonite he had was especially strong… if you’re not careful you could solar flare.”

“I need to see Lena,” Kara said. She didn’t care about wearing herself out or taking it easy until the pain went away, she needed to see her. She wanted so badly to fix what she’d broken and now this… it was enough to ruin everything. She couldn’t let her stay scared and alone in the med bay, not when she’d been the reason Lena was injured in the first place.

“Kara, there’s one more thing you need to know,” Alex said softly. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s Lydia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah im sorry about that  
> and can you tell I literally never write action or fight scenes lmao


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Mostly) everything from chapter 12 is explained

“Lena, oh my-- are you alright?”

Kara shut the door to Lena’s room and suppressed the urge to cry at the sight in front of her. She’d never seen her like this, so small and fragile that Kara was almost afraid to get too close. She looked broken. And that shattered Kara to pieces. 

“I’m okay,” Lena said, her voice hoarse and raw. “It looks worse than it is.”

She was wearing a thin white medical gown, her real clothes sat in a plastic bag next to her bed. There were tabs and wires stuck to her chest, monitoring her vitals and she wore a nasal tube to help her breathe. It was all so much. Alex said she was going to be alright but this-- this was the furthest thing from fine. 

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve stopped him.” 

Lena shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault.” She held her hand up and waved Kara over to her, smiling to show she was alright. 

“You did everything you could. Thank you,” she said, leaving Kara at a loss of words. 

“Lena I-- why are you thanking me I-- you got hurt because of me.” 

“No, I got hurt because I threw myself in front of a man with a knife,” Lena contradicted her. “And I don’t regret it, so please, try not to feel guilty because this really wasn’t your fault.”

Kara bit down on the inside of her mouth and looked down at the ground. Lydia was in the other room getting multiple stitches on her forehead and Kara hadn’t seen Alex’s dozens of texts telling her to get to the DEO immediately because she’d left her phone at L Corp. Lena got cut with a knife on her stomach because she’d been too weak to hold off the attacker. 

It all came back to her. They were both hurt because of her. There was no way this wasn’t her fault.

“I know, but if I’d just been able to push through for a little while longer… you would’ve been fine.” 

“But he had kryptonite, Kara,” Lena said softly. “He had the one thing that could’ve killed you and you stepped in front of it to save me.” 

Kara couldn’t bring herself to respond. Sure, she’d put herself in front of the kryptonite for Lena, but it didn’t matter. She still hadn’t been able to help her. Lena still got hurt because she wasn’t strong enough. 

“Yeah, but you’re on oxygen, he must’ve done something that--” 

“I started to panic when Alex put me in the ambulance and I saw all the blood. The oxygen was just to make sure it didn’t turn into an anxiety attack,” Lena explained. “It’s okay, I’m okay.” 

“Hey, Kara, Lydia’s all done if you want to see her,” Alex said, poking her head through the doorway. 

Kara nodded and drew in a breath, trying to give her herself a moment to recompose herself. It was all just so much, way too much for her to handle. 

“Okay, yeah, I’ll go check on her,” she said. “I’ll see you later, Lena?” 

“Yeah,” Lena nodded. 

Once Kara left, Alex made her way over to Lena. 

“I just need to quickly check your wound,” she said and pulled back Lena’s blanket. “We got to you pretty fast so the risk of infection is very low, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

Lena nodded. She stared up at the ceiling and held her breath as Alex lifted her gown and removed the dressing so she could examine the cut. The exposed area burned as if it were on fire when the cold air met her skin, the pain shooting through the rest of her body. 

She could feel Alex applying new bandages, but couldn’t bring herself to look down. She’d never been squeamish with blood before but seeing it on herself would just be too much. She was already struggling to process everything that had happened today and within the past few weeks. Lena couldn’t accept everything this injury meant too. 

“Okay, you’re all done,” Alex said, gently covering with her gown and blanket once more. 

“Thank you.” 

Alex nodded in acknowledgment and threw Lena’s old bandages into a plastic medical waste bag. 

“Luckily everything looks good so you should be able to go home either tonight or tomorrow morning,” she said. “But even though it wasn’t a stab wound, you were still cut pretty deep.”

Lena bit down on the inside of her mouth. Already, she knew she didn’t want to know where this was going. 

“In order for it to heal properly and not reopen, you’ll need to spend a few days at home. Preferably with someone who can help you out so you won’t have to move around too much.” 

“Okay,” Lena said. 

She had no idea how that was supposed to work. But she couldn’t tell Alex she didn’t have anyone who could stay with her. Sam had work and a teenager. She was already so busy, it wouldn’t be fair to call her. And Kara had just willingly risked her life for her. Lena couldn’t ask her to be her adult babysitter now too. It would be taking advantage of her. So she had no one. She’d just have to figure out a way to make it work.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be until the end of the week at most and then you’ll be back on your feet.”

“That’s good.” 

“And there’s another thing.” 

“What is it?” Lena asked, hoping with everything she had left it wouldn’t be more bad news.

“I wanted to apologize,” Alex said. “For misjudging you and making unfair assumptions.” 

Lena bit her lip and averted her gaze, unsure of how to react. 

“Kara talks about you all the time and I… I can see why she loves you so much.” 

Alex paused, part of her waiting to see if Lena would respond. But Lena stayed silent. 

“And you were willing to get stabbed for her,” Alex added with a chuckle. “So I know there’s no reason for me not to trust you. I’m just sorry that it took so long for me to realize it.”

“Thank you,” Lena said eventually. “That means a lot.”

* * *

Kara smiled sadly as she ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair.

“You were so brave, Lydia.” She said. “And when we get home we can have ice cream and do whatever you want, you earned it for being so strong today.” 

“Chocolate ice cream?” 

Kara nodded and managed a light laugh. “Whatever you want, muffin.” 

When she’d heard Lydia had hit her head and was going to need stitches, Kara’s heart had fallen right through her stomach. And knowing it was because she’d floated up to the top of the refrigerator and Alex hadn’t been able to get her down before she fell only made it a million times worse. If Alex hadn’t caught her when she’d fallen, it would’ve taken way more than a few stitches and a lollipop before she was okay again. 

It had only been about two weeks since she’d discovered Lydia’s powers. Alex and Maggie were able to watch her during the day occasionally so Kara could go to work. At first, Kara had been sure this was the best way to do things until Lydia learned to control her powers or Lena finished the led based socks she’d been working on. But now, Lydia was laying in a hospital bed with a bandage covering her forehead and multiple stitches because nobody had been able to stop her from lying too high before she hit her head. 

Kara should’ve been there to fly up and grab her before anything happened. She should’ve been home with her daughter. She should’ve had her phone with her to see the twelve missed texts and calls from Alex, telling her that Lydia had a head injury and possibly a concussion. 

And if she’d failed at that she should’ve at the very least, been able to do her job as Supergirl and get Lena away from danger before any harm could’ve come to her. There were so many things she should’ve done better, things in her power she could’ve done right. But it had all slipped through her fingers. All because she’d been careless and sloppy. All because of her. 

“Mama,” Lydia said, looking up at her with big wide eyes. “Wanna go home.” 

“I know, we’re gonna go home soon,” Kara said. She scooped Lydia up and held her in her lap, listening to the sound of her steady heartbeat. She knew she could never let anything like today ever happen again. Lydia was so small, so innocent and perfect. Kara had to do better for her.

* * *

Lena looked at the clock above Alex’s bed and stifled a yawn. She and Kara had been recounting the events from today to Alex, who was listening and taking notes, trying to match the man they’d described to someone they’d already been on the lookout for.

“When he said he was going to take you back, what did he mean by that?” Kara asked softly. She sat on Lena’s bedside, completely unaware of how much her presence was helping her. 

“I don’t know,” Lena said. “Maybe he was someone who used to work for Luthor Corp before I took over but I-- I don’t know.” 

“Could he have been working with Lex?” Alex asked. 

Lena shook her head. “Lex gave up on me a long time ago. He’s not wasting his energy trying to bring me back.” 

“Then how would he have had the kryptonite?” 

“Lillian maybe?” Alex suggested. 

“No… she’s terrible but…” Lena’s voice trailed off. She looked down at her lap and pulled at a loose thread on her blanket. For everything Lillian had put her through, she hated that she still found herself jumping to her defense, even if she knew she didn’t deserve it. But this time, she didn’t believe Lillian could be capable of getting her hands on such a thing. Or at least she didn’t want to believe it.

Kara and Alex exchanged glances, neither of them saying a word. 

“Do you think we could finish this tomorrow?” Kara asked, seeing how Lena was starting to shut down. “It’s been a long day for all of us and I could use some rest.” 

Alex nodded. “Of course. Do you want me to bring Lydia in here so you can all be together?”

It was so easy to see through her sister sometimes, it was almost comical. But she had to admit, Kara’s fake yawn and excuse that she was tired so Lena could get a chance to relax were sweet. Especially since Alex figured Lena was like her, and would never admit she needed time to recover, even if she had just taken a knife to her stomach.

“If that’s okay with Lena.” 

“It’s fine with me,” Lena said, smiling for the first time all day.

“Alright, I’ll go get her,” Alex said, smiling back at her. “And is there anyone you want me to call for you about the next few days?” 

Lena shook her head. “No, I can do it.” 

“What about the next few days?” Kara asked once her sister was gone. 

Lena shrugged and went back to playing with the thread on her blanket. “I’m not really supposed to move around so Alex suggested I have a friend or something help me out around the house for a little bit. But I don’t really have anyone to call, so I’m just gonna figure it out on my own.” 

“I could do it,” Kara said as if it were obvious. 

“Kara, I know you feel bad, but you don’t have to take care of me, I can’t use you like that.”

Kara shook her head. “You’re not using me, I’m saying as a friend that if you’re okay with it, I’d like to help you out for the next few days.”

“Are you sure?” 

Kara nodded. “Of course, you’d have to stay with Lydia and me, but I don’t mind. You need to rest and get better, you shouldn’t have to do that alone.” 

“Lena!” 

Lena and Kara looked up to see Alex pushing in Lydia’s hospital bed, which held a toddler who was extremely thrilled to be seeing Lena again. 

“Hey, Lydia,” Lena said, perking up instantly. 

“I gots a boo-boo,” Lydia said, pointing to her forehead. 

“Yeah, I got one too,” Lena said and put a hand on her stomach. 

“Mama kiss it better?” 

“I already kissed yours, Lydia,” Kara said with a chuckle. 

“Kiss Lena’s better.”

“Oh,” Kara turned to Lena and smiled nervously. “Is that okay?” 

Lena nodded and Kara leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her stomach. She watched as Lydia smiled back at her, clapping happily as Kara kissed her. 

Even though she could’ve never imagined things turning out this way, Lena knew with Kara and Lydia by her side, this week just might not be terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everybody say thank you Lydia for pushing Kara and Lena together   
> our supercorp queen


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some moments from Lena's first day staying with the Danvers girls.

There was a faint rustling in the back of Lena’s head, a quiet and somehow calm chaos waking her up. A small moan escaped her lips as she sat up, unsure of how she’d even fallen asleep in the first place.

She’d been covered in a blanket and there was a pillow on the other end of the couch where her head had been laying. Though, she had no memory of grabbing them herself. She smiled to herself as she pulled the blanket close and began to refamiliarize herself with her surroundings. The smell of a lavender candle on the mantle and gentle breeze coming in through the open window. Before long, the warmth from Kara’s apartment had set in and her confusion drifted away. 

“Hey, you’re up.” 

She looked up at Kara, who was clearing off the kitchen table and smiled.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… I guess I fell asleep. Do you need any help cleaning up?”

Kara shook her head. “No, I’m supposed to be taking care of  _ you _ remember?” 

Lena blushed and nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“Are you hungry? Lydia and I ate dinner but you seemed so peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Not right now,” Lena said. “All the pain meds from the DEO are making me kind nauseous.” 

“Oh. Let me know if you want anything later then.” 

“Where’s Lydia?”

Kara wiped her hands on her jeans and made her way over to the couch. “She went to bed early, she was really tired after everything that happened.” 

“You must be too.” 

Kara nodded and sat down beside Lena. “Yeah, but I’ll get through it.” 

Lena hummed in response and absentmindedly rested her head on Kara’s shoulder. There were a lot of things on her mind that any other time she would’ve vocalized. Like when was she going to get to go back to her apartment to retrieve some clothes, or was she going to continue to wear Kara’s sweats for the next few days? And did bed rest really mean she had to stay in bed all day and couldn’t work? 

But she was too tired to speak up about any of this. So she lay with her head on Kara’s shoulder, closing her eyes, and trying to take in the peaceful moment before the other shoe dropped.

* * *

Kara let out a long breath as she shut her bedroom door, the tears she’d managed to hold at bay all morning finally starting to fall. She’d only just gotten Lydia down for a nap after she’d thrown an extremely long tantrum because she wanted to take the bandage on her forehead off. She screamed and threw herself on the floor, begging Kara to get rid of it.

Kara tried to explain that it was covering her stitches and it would only make it feel worse if she took it off, but Lydia wouldn’t listen. She yelled and wailed until Kara decided to give her some space so she could cry it out and calm down on her own.

And after about ten minutes of Lydia sitting on the ground, sobbing to the wall, she cried herself into exhaustion. She opened the door, her face covered in a disgusting mixture of snot, tears, and drool and agreed to let Kara tuck her in with the bandage still on.

The whole time, Kara herself had been trying not to cry. She hated seeing her daughter so uncomfortable. She hated knowing there was nothing she could do to make it better and that she was responsible for this whole mess. She hated all of it. 

So now that she was safe in the privacy of her own room, she covered her mouth with her hand as she quietly wept, cursing herself for breaking so easily.

She was supposed to be keeping it together for Lydia and Lena, they needed her and she was failing them, she was practically falling apart at the seams. Everything she did only seemed to make things worse when all she wanted to do was help.

“Kara?” 

“Fuck,” Kara muttered, trying to quickly wipe her eyes before Lena could see her. She’d completely forgotten Lena had been resting in her room. She’d been feeling sick ever since she came back from the DEO, a side effect of the pain medication that still hadn’t gone away. She’d been trying to sleep it off all morning.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked as she stepped out of bed.

Kara nodded and held her breath. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it together if she spoke. 

“Can I sit with you?” 

Another nod and Lena sat down, pulling her legs close to her chest. She draped one arm over Kara’s shoulder and with her free hand, brushed her thumb against Kara’s knuckles.

Lena had never been good at talking about emotions. She never knew how to put things out in the open without making them worse. Even though she’d always had the best of intentions, these things just never worked for her. 

What Lena did know, however, was that the time’s Kara had seen her get upset, she was always physically there for her. Sometimes through a hug or to hold her hand, or even just a small gentle touch to let her know she wasn’t alone. And to Lena, knowing that she could reach out and Kara wasn’t going to disappear and that she’d still be with her, had always meant so much. More than she could ever put into words.

“Is this okay?” She asked as Kara melted into her light embrace.

“Yeah,” Kara said, swallowing the sob that threatened to escape her lips. “I’m so sorry, Lena.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Kara shook her head. “I lied and I-- I wasn’t strong enough and you-- you got hurt because of me.” 

“I’m not mad that you lied,” Lena said softly. “And yes, I was hurt, but you were willing to take the kryptonite for me and that means so much more than a secret you kept months ago.” 

“But I did this,” Kara cried, gesturing to Lena’s stomach. “And Lydia… she got hurt and I-- I wasn’t there.” 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Lena said, cupping Kara’s cheek in her palm. “You did everything you could, I’m the one who pushed you away. I knew what I was doing, I knew he was going to try to stab me and I was okay with that. I still am.” 

“Why aren’t you angry?” 

“I’m angry that someone tried to attack me and that now I can’t go to work. I’m angry that there are constantly people plotting to kill me,” Lena said, smiling sadly. “But I’m not angry at you. Not for trying to save me or for making a mistake.” 

She wiped away Kara’s tears with the pad of her thumb, Kara’s cheeks turning bright pink beneath her touch. 

“You’re an amazing friend and an amazing mother. Lydia is so lucky to have you,” Lena continued. “I am too.”

Kara shook her head. “I messed up so bad.”

“It was one second, one second that you missed, that’s it. You are so much more than that one moment,” Lena reassured her.

“I…” Kara’s voice trailed off. She could hear a door open and Lydia singing the ABCs to herself. 

“Lydia’s awake I-- I should be watching her,” Kara said, quickly wiping her eyes. She cleared her throat and tried to regain her usual positive and cheerful appearance. 

Normally being with her daughter always made her feel better in times like these. But now, she just wanted to crawl in bed and hide away from the rest of the world until everything else went away. 

“I can go if you need a minute,” Lena offered.

“No… your stomach, I don’t want her to hurt you,” Kara said. “And you’ve been feeling sick all day, you need to rest.” 

“So do you,” Lena pointed out. “I can watch her for a little bit if you need a moment alone.”

Kara hesitated but eventually nodded. “As long as you don’t mind.” 

“It’s no problem.”

* * *

Kara rubbed her eyes and let out a yawn as she wandered into the living room. Even though she felt gross and stuffy from breaking down, she was starting to finally feel a little better. It helped to get it all out in the open, even if that meant she’d become a sobbing mess. Lena seemed to make it so that the lingering thoughts weren’t as powerful against her voice. Maybe it hadn’t all been on her as Lena said. 

She smiled to herself when she saw Lena sitting on the sofa with Lydia cradled in her lap, talking about things Kara was sure were going right over Lydia’s head.

“You’re made of atoms too,” she heard Lena say as she tapped Lydia on the nose. 

Lydia shook her head in disbelief. “Nu-uh,” she said, reaching up to Lena’s hair and wrapping it around one of her fingers.

Lena nodded. “And so am I, and so’s your mama.” 

Lydia held up her stuffed tiger for Lena to see. “My stuffie’s made of atoms?” 

“Yup, everything’s made of atoms, even your stuffie.” 

Lydia’s eyes widened. She laid her head against Lena’s chest and pointed out the window. “All that?” 

“Yeah, all that too.” 

Lena smiled and kissed the top of her head. She’d gotten so used to holding Lydia in her lap that it almost felt natural having her in her arms. It was strange to think that only a little while ago she’d been filled with nerves every time she picked Lydia up. Now it felt so normal, she couldn’t even remember what she’d been afraid of.

“Lena?” Lydia asked. She continued to play with Lena’s hair, seemingly fixated on how soft it was when she touched it.

“Yeah?” 

“I can do science when I’m big?”

Lena laughed and nodded. “You’re doing science right now, love.” 

Lydia’s jaw dropped in amazement. “Big girl science?” 

Lena nodded once more. “Yeah. And I bet if you keep at it, one day you’ll be better at it then I am.” 

Lydia giggled and hid her face in the crook of Lena’s neck. 

“You’re already so smart,” Lena said. She smiled as she looked up, only then realizing Kara had been watching them. 

“Hey,” she said with a wave. “How do you feel?” 

“Better,” Kara said and took a seat beside her. “How was Lydia? She wasn’t too rough I hope.” 

“She was perfect,” Lena said, beaming down at the little girl. “She was very gentle and we talked about science together, right Lydia?” 

Lydia nodded, still partially distracted by Lena’s hair. “I learned ‘bout atoms.”

“Really?” Kara asked, taking Lydia off of Lena’s lap and holding her close. Even though Lydia was careful, she didn’t want her daughter to accidentally knee or poke at where Lena had been injured. 

“I’m gonna be a science when I’m a big girl.” 

“You mean a scientist?” Kara asked with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, a science.” 

“Well then, you’re gonna make Lena and I very proud.”

* * *

“Lena, what are you doing? I thought the NyQuil was supposed to make you sleepy,” Kara said as she climbed in bed beside Lena, who was on her phone, reading over her emails. She’d only been on bed rest for about twenty-four hours now but somehow had already managed to find a way to get back to her work while Kara wasn’t looking.

“It did, I feel like shit,” she replied through a yawn. “But I’m behind on--”

Kara took the phone out of Lena’s hand and set it down on her nightstand. 

“What the heck?” 

“You’re worse than Lydia with her binky,” Kara said, getting a scowl from Lena. “And you need to sleep for the new meds to actually work.” 

“I know, but I--”

“Bedrest is supposed to mean rest and a break from all the things that stress you out. Not working in bed.”

Lena mumbled something incoherent but obliged. She laid down and absentmindedly curled up against Kara, resting her head in Kara’s lap. 

“The Midvale trip…” she said, her voice fading out as the exhaustion from fighting off her medicine finally began to set in. “I’m still going, I don’t care what Alex says.” 

“I know. And I already booked the hotel and a private plane, it’s all taken care of,” Kara reassured her, though she wasn’t sure how much Lena was actually retaining in her NyQuil induced haze. She also refrained from telling Lena that she would fully be recovered by then, just so she could think she was doing something fun and rebellious for the time being. 

“And all of the packing?” 

“It’s not for another two weeks, you’ve got time to pack.” 

Lena nodded and closed her eyes, snuggling up even closer to Kara. 

“That’s good.” 

“Yeah, as of now, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” 

“But--”

“Nothing to worry about.”

After a few moments of silence, Kara felt Lena relax against her as all the tension released from her body. She brushed a stray hair out of Lena’s face and smiled to herself. She knew it was the medicine and exhaustion that was making her so affectionate, but still, it was nice. Being home with Lena and Lydia, even under these terrible circumstances, felt good. It felt like this was how things were supposed to be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara is always so happy and cheerful, not just in this, but in the show too. I thought it would be important to show her starting to break down from the guilt of what happened to Lena and Lydia.   
> Also, I'm not sure if the next chapter should be more of Lena, Kara, and Lydia at home together, or if I should skip to the Midvale trip because I already have a lot written for it, and I honestly love it so much already.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hate this chapter so much oh my god

“Sam, I think I have a problem.” 

“What is it?” 

“Well, I’ve been staying with Kara for the past few days…” Lena began. She chewed on her thumbnail and paused for a moment to think. She couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow someone was going to overhear this and Kara was going to find out and everything would be ruined. 

“So that means we’ve been spending a lot of time together and…” She said and stopped herself once more when her heart began to race. Why was this so hard? It wasn’t like Kara was listening, why couldn’t she just spit it out? It was only a feeling, it wasn’t anything real yet. She just needed to rip the bandaid off.

“And I’m starting to feel,” Lena hesitated, trying to find the right word. “...Things when I’m around her.” 

“So, you like her?” 

“No,” Lena said quickly. “I’m her boss, I can’t like her.” 

“Oh come on, like it’s never happened before,” Sam said with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, but she’s my assistant,” Lena contradicted. “It’s an imbalance of power, I can’t take advantage of that.” 

She leaned back against the pillows and sighed at her reflection, staring back at her in the mirror across the room from Kara’s bed. Clothing Lena had brought from her penthouse was piled on top of the dresser beneath it, but she hadn’t worn any of her own things yet. Ever since she got to Kara’s apartment, she’d basically been living in her oversized t-shirts and pajama shorts.

“Okay, all work complications set aside, what are the feelings you’re having about her?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Part of Lena didn’t understand why Kara was doing this, why she would let her stay in her apartment, sleep in bed with her, wear her clothes, and ask for nothing in return. But despite all her questions, the other half of Lena didn’t care. She’d never felt so welcome and accepted than she had these past few days. Every moment spent with Kara and Lydia she felt so sincerely wanted, a feeling she’d never been lucky enough to have before. 

She didn’t want to say anything that would ruin it. Even if it meant suppressing her feelings for even longer. 

“Well, whatever it is, you won’t be taking advantage just by telling her. If she says no then that’s that, you never have to talk about it again. But I’m pretty sure she’s not going to say no.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because she’s a single mom who has so much on her plate but somehow always makes time for you. She loves you, Lena, even if she doesn’t know it yet herself.” 

Lena shook her head. “She doesn’t love me, that’s just the kind of person she is.” 

Nice, warm, caring. Kara was everything. 

“You should talk to her,” Sam said softly. “You don’t have to tell her now but talk to her. She might surprise her.”

“I know I should but still, she’s my assistant, it’s wrong.”

“She’s not gonna be your assistant forever,” Sam pointed out. “You don’t want to miss out on your chance with her because you waited too long.” 

* * *

“Kara, we need to talk.” 

Kara whipped her head around at the sound of her sister’s voice. 

“What-- talk about-- how did you even get in here?” She stammered as Alex casually shut the door and made her way into the apartment.

“That doesn’t matter,” Alex said. She stopped when she saw Lydia in Kara’s lap. They were sitting on the carpet, doing a zoo animal puzzle together while an episode of Mickey Mouse ClubHouse played on the TV. 

“Where’s Lena?” 

“She’s in my room, I think she’s on the phone with a friend. What’s going on?”

Alex sighed and took a seat on the floor next to her. “I guess I can tell you first then.”

“Seriously Alex, what is it, is everything okay?” Kara asked, growing more impatient with every passing second. 

“I’m not sure, that’s why I need to talk to Lena. But this isn’t something I want to say in front of you-know-who,” Alex said, gesturing to Lydia who was trying to fit two very different puzzle pieces together. 

Kara nodded and tapped her on the shoulder. “Lyds, can you go find three books for us to read?” 

“Aunt Allie can read too?” 

“Whatever you want.” 

Without another word, Lydia got up, and excitedly ran off in search of her three favorite books. 

“Alex, come on, what’s this all about?” Kara asked as soon as she was out of the room.

“The guy that was following Lena, I stayed late at the DEO last night with Winn and we think we know who he is.” 

Kara drew in a breath and clasped her hands together, her whole body filling with tension as she waited to hear his name. 

“Noel Hudson, he used to work for Lillian back when she ran Luthor Corp. I guess, apparently, they’re still working together and she sent him to find Lena.” 

“But why would she do that?” Kara asked. “I thought Lena’s family wanted nothing to do with her.” 

“I don’t know,” Alex said with a shrug. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out.” 

“We have to tell her,” Kara said under her breath. She couldn’t keep Lena in the dark about this, but she wished she didn’t have to say anything. It would break her heart. 

No- Kara wished nothing like this was happening, that Lena could for once be safe and happy without the constant worry that someone was out to get her. She didn’t deserve this, any of it. 

“You should be the one to do it, she trusts you,” Alex said. 

Kara nodded and ran a hand through her hair. She hated that it had to be this way. That Lena had to live her life in fear of her own mother. It wasn’t fair. 

But more than anything, Kara hated that no matter what she did, Lena would always have people in her life like Lillian that wanted to do nothing but hurt her.

* * *

Lena stared at her lap, tears burning in her eyes as she listened to Kara tell her the truth behind the attack, the truth she’d tried so hard to deny. She’d told Alex there was no way it could’ve been Lillian, she’d tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt, to believe she was better than this. But still, it had been her. 

When Kara finished, Lena didn’t say anything. She could hear Kara ask if she was alright, if she needed space or time to process it, but the words seemed foggy and distant. She couldn’t even bring herself to make a sound. All Lena could hear was the noise in her head, the pushing, and shoving, trying to force her to come to a decision. 

She told herself she shouldn’t have been so surprised. This was just the kind of thing Lillian would do, leaving her out on her own to fend for herself until she needed her again and would trap her once more, keeping her for her own cruel advantage until Lena was bled dry of any usefulness she’d ever had. Then she’d be thrown out again and the cycle would repeat; Lena struggling to move forward until she finally thought she was free just for Lillian to pull her back once more. It was vicious and horrific, a turning wheel Lena had been trapped in her entire life. She’d finally thought she was done, that she’d been able to escape and could live her life on her own. And there Lillian was, waiting to lure her in and capture her at just the right moment.

But at the same time, Lillian had given her everything. She’d given her a home, a roof over her head, and a family. It didn’t matter how Lena had been treated, she’d had nothing when her mom died and Lillian saved her from that. So maybe Lena deserved this, she deserved all the torture and heartache, all the fear and pain. Lillian had chosen to take her in so maybe Lena deserved to suffer in return. 

“I’m sorry I just…” 

“It’s okay,” Kara said softly. “Take all the time you need.”

“I don’t understand what she wants from me,” Lena whispered. “I’m useless to her I…” 

She put her head in her hands and swallowed the sharp lump in her throat, refusing to let herself cry. She was so tired of always feeling this way, of being helpless and weak and small. She just wanted it all to stop.

“Why does she even care?” 

“I don’t know,” Kara said, taking Lena’s hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. 

“I can’t think about this now, it’s too much, I… can we figure it out later?”

Kara nodded. “Whatever you need.”

Lena gave a small smile and squeezed Kara’s hand back. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” Kara said. “I was gonna take Lydia for a walk in the park, would you want to come with us? It might help you clear your head?” 

“If you don’t mind.” 

Kara grinned. “I don’t, I’d love to have you there. And so will Lydia, she’s having the time of her life now that she can see you every day.”

Lena blushed and looked down at her lap. Even with all the problems Lillian was causing, she couldn’t help but feel the same way as Lydia. And even though she’d never say it. She hated that it would soon come to an end.

* * *

Kara took Lena and Lydia to the Central Park in National City. They walked down the gravel path, which surrounded a large granite fountain. It was relatively crowded, many families were gathered with their kids or pets, having picnics in the grass or relaxing on the benches. 

Almost every Saturday, Kara came here with Lydia. They would buy bagels from the nearby bodega and eat breakfast by the fountain. Lydia would run after pigeons or squirrels with the other kids then her and then she and Kara would play together beneath the shade of the trees. It was their little tradition, just the two of them. 

Kara always thought having someone else come with them would feel weird and forced. But with Lena, just like everything else, it felt natural, as if this was how it was meant to be. 

“Swing me, Mama!” Lydia exclaimed. She was walking in between Kara and Lena, each of them holding one of her hands while she skipped along happily. 

“Okay, one two three… up you go!” Kara said as both she and Lena lifted their arms so Lydia dangled off the ground, giggling in delight. 

“Again,” Lydia begged, jumping up and down excitedly as soon her feet hit the ground. 

“Later, muffin, we gotta be careful of Lena’s boo-boo,” Kara said and ruffled her hair. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” 

“It’s okay, in a few days I’ll be all better and I can swing you as many times as you want,” Lena said with a smile. 

Kara felt her grin falter at the words. She’d almost forgotten that in just three more days, Lena’s wound would be healed completely and she’d be cleared to go back to her own apartment and start doing things for herself again. She’d gotten so used to having Lena there with her that she hadn’t even thought about what would happen once she left. And though Kara knew it was selfish, she couldn’t help but wish Lena would stay with them for just a little while longer. 

“Mama, look, it’s ice cream!” Lydia said and tugged on her arm as she pointed excitedly to an ice cream cart stationed by some benches and chess tables. 

“Lydia, you haven’t had lunch yet,” Kara pointed out. 

Lydia pouted and let out a  _ hmph _ sound. But after a second looked up at Lena, smiling up at her with big hopeful eyes.

“Lena, I can get ice cream?” 

Kara’s jaw dropped as she watched her daughter try to sweet-talk her friend.

She remembered when she was younger, if her mom said no to something, she’d always go to her dad with the same question so she’d get the answer she wanted. She couldn’t believe her two-year-old had figured out that trick so early on-- especially with Lena instead of Alex or Maggie. 

“Hey, if you’re gonna go behind my back, at least wait until I’m not standing right next to you,” Kara said, trying to sound firm but laughing instead. “But if you’re that desperate, I guess we can get ice cream.” 

She lifted Lydia and held her on her hip while they walked over to the cart. They all ordered and settled down on a bench, hidden beneath a tree with their ice cream and about fifty napkins for Lydia, who already had ice cream all around her lips and dripping down her chin. 

“I don’t understand how you can eat that,” Kara said, gesturing to Lena’s small cup of mint chocolate chip. 

“What? It’s good!” 

“It’s like toothpaste with chocolate chips,” Kara contradicted. “I just don’t get how you can choose that over chocolate chip cookie dough,” she said and held up her waffle cone for extra emphasis.

“You’re such a weirdo,” Lena said with a chuckle. 

“You’re the weird one,” Kara shot back in retaliation, not even trying to hide her smile. 

“No name-calling,” Lydia said, her mouth full of panda paws ice cream. “Gotta ‘pologzie now.” 

“I’m sorry for calling you a weirdo.” 

“And I’m sorry for making fun of your mint chip.” 

“Thank you, Mamas,” Lydia said and went back to her ice cream. 

Kara and Lena both stared at each other, neither of them quite sure what to say.  _ Mamas, _ Lydia had said  _ Mamas. _ She hadn’t called Lena her mom, but she’d grouped them together. Both of them were her moms. 

“I’m sorry Kara, I’m so sorry,” Lena said eventually. “I didn’t realize me staying with you would be this confusing for her, I swear, I didn’t mean to overstep.” 

“It’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong. She just really loves you.”

“You’re not mad?” 

“Why would I be mad?” 

“Because she’s your daughter, Kara,” Lena said as if it were obvious. “ _ You’re _ her mother.”

“I know, and as her mother, I’m not mad,” Kara said softly. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can talk to her about it but I’m okay with it.” 

“You’re sure?” Lena asked. 

Kara nodded. “You’re a great role model and obviously she’s crazy about you. As long as you’re okay with it, so am I.”

Lena couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. Even though everything else that was crashing down around her, Kara was still so steadily by her side. It filled her with something she couldn’t quite place, a feeling that had been lingering for longer than she could put a finger on. She could only hope when she stopped staying with Kara, things could still be this good between them. 

* * *

“Kara?”

“Yeah?” 

“Noel Hudson… I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier… I guess I was in shock… but I-- I think I know what he might’ve been after.” 

Kara put her hairbrush back down on her dresser and looked back over at Lena. 

“My mother had been planning to hand the company over to Lex, not me. I remember before I left for college he used to come over… he worked with her,” Lena began. She pulled at her fingers, unable to bring herself to look Kara in the eye. “What if she o- or Lex had something hidden there… something I don’t know about.” 

“I thought when you took over you renovated everything, how would there be something in there that you don’t know about?” 

Lena shook her head. “I don’t know.” 

She bit her nails to try to get her hands to stop trembling, but it didn’t help. “A few years ago, before I moved to National City, I found out Lex had been trying to manufacture kryptonite. I don’t know if he was successful… I’d already stopped talking to him by then, but if he was, that’s probably what they’re after.” 

Kara’s breath caught in her throat at those words. If Lex somehow had access to kryptonite, that would explain how Lena’s attacker had had that knife. What didn’t make sense though, was how would he have known to have it? 

“I thought I’d gotten rid of all their remains when I took over,” Lena said quietly as if she were talking to herself. “I don’t know how I could’ve let it get past me.”

“Lena, they all have so many connections and ways of getting away with these things. There was no way you could’ve gotten to everything,” Kara said, sitting on the bed beside her. “What matters is now we know who this guy is, and Alex and I can find him and make sure that he, and Lillian, and everyone associated with them won’t be able to get to you or anyone else.”

Lena nodded. She wanted to believe Kara, but she knew firsthand how powerful Lillian was. Even if Kara was able to get them arrested, Lillian would still find a way to get to her, she always did. 

“You’re shaking.” Kara took Lena’s quivering hand away from her mouth and held it tightly. “I know this is a lot, we don’t have to keep talking about it if it’s still too much.”

Lena shook her head. “No, it’s okay, I can handle it.” 

Kara smiled, placing her other hand over her Lena’s and intertwining their fingers.

Growing up, Lena had always gotten in trouble for biting her nails. But Kara didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t comment on how it was a childish habit. She didn’t even act inconvenienced at all the problems Lena was causing for her. 

“I’ll call Alex tomorrow and we’ll start figuring all this out,” she said, draping her arm over Lena’s shoulder and pulling her close. “We’re gonna get it under control, I promise.” 

Lena nodded, instantly relaxing against her touch. 

“I won’t let her hurt you again.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too terrible, but I wanted to start resolving the stuff that happened when Lena wasn't attacked. Also, I haven't watched supergirl in forever so I made up a fake villain lmao   
> next chapter will be lena, kara, and Lydia in midvale for her tedtalk!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara travel to Midvale for Lena's TedTalk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter out and it's kind of a disaster, but I'm hoping everyone will like the ending :)

“We should be touching down in about an hour. Jess said there might be some paparazzi at the airport, but there will be a car waiting for us when we arrive that’ll drive us directly to the hotel so they shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” 

“There won’t be anyone at the hotel right?” 

“Nope, I already spoke with the manager. They have a state of the art security system and the only people that know your room number are me and you. It’s all taken care of.” 

“You’re a lifesaver, Kara,” Lena said with a smile. “I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Kara blushed and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Sure, she was just doing her job, but Lena complimenting her made her all tingly inside. It was that time in middle school when the pretty girl she’d really wanted to be friends with complimented her hair during recess. Totally platonic.

“I also have been meaning to show you these,” Lena added. She opened her purse and handed Kara two pairs of socks, one pink with white polka dots and the other green with yellow sunflowers. “They’re to keep Lydia on the ground when she can’t wear the rain boots.” 

She then took out a plastic zip-lock bag with a blue pacifier attached to a little stuffed puppy. 

“There’s a BlueTooth device hidden in the dog. Once you connect it to your phone, it’ll detect the movement in Lydia’s brain and send you a signal alerting you if she’s about to start floating while she’s asleep,” Lena explained. “It won’t stop her from flying, but it’ll make you aware before she starts doing it.” 

“Lena, this is incredible,” Kara breathed as she unballed the socks and laid them out on the table between them. 

“The dog can also clip onto her old pacifier, just in case she’s too attached to it and won’t want the new one.”

“No, this is perfect. She’s had her current one for so long, she seriously needed a new one.” 

Lena grinned. “Well, I’m glad you like it, I really hope it helps.”

“It will, this is all so amazing.  _ You’re _ amazing.”

“It was the least I could do.” 

Kara shook her head and took Lena’s hands in her own. “No, Lena, you’re seriously amazing.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’ve got all that?” Lena asked as Kara picked up Lydia’s duffel bag. So far, she was somehow already carrying her suitcase, Lena’s suitcase, Lydia’s folded up stroller, and the backpack with all of Lena’s work-related items.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Kara said as if it were nothing. 

“Well at least let me carry Lydia,” Lena said, lifting the toddler with ease and balancing her on her hip. “And my suitcase, there’s no way you can get all that down the stairs.” 

“Fine,” Kara grumbled, reluctantly letting Lena carry her own luggage. What was the point of trying to be chivalrous if Lena wasn’t even going to let her carry the bags for her?

“Are you ready?” 

Lena drew in a breath and nodded. From inside the plane, she could already hear the hum of reporters and cameras flashing. She’d done this many times before but the nerves of being publicly photographed (especially in the sweats Kara had insisted she change into) never went away. And now that Kara and Lydia were here, she didn’t just have herself to worry about. 

“Lena, is it true L Corp has ties with Supergirl?” 

“Are you planning on testifying against Morgan Edge?”

Lydia whined and stuck her fingers in her ears, hiding her face in Lena’s shirt at the sound of reporters shouting. The entire crowd erupted completely as they stepped out of the plane, the voices just as loud at the top of the long staircase as they would’ve been on the ground. 

“It’s okay, muffin, Lena’s got you,” Kara said, quickly kissing her daughter’s hair. 

“Wait, give me one second.” Lena let go of her suitcase and rummaged through her purse. She pulled out a pair of sunglasses and helped Lydia put them on, letting out a small laugh on how comically large they looked sitting on the little girl's nose. 

“There, now all the lights won’t be so bright.”

The three made their way down the steps and through the crowd, Lena ignoring their questions and focusing on Lydia so Kara wouldn’t have to worry while she lugged way more bags than she should’ve been able to carry to the car. The driver put all their luggage into the trunk while Lena strapped Lydia into her car seat. And as soon as they pulled out of the airport, the toddler fell fast asleep and remained that way for the rest of the ride to the hotel, while Lena and Kara made plans for the evening. 

Before long, they were back at the hotel, all three of them in Lena’s suite, sitting on her queen-sized bed, while Lena recited the talk she’d give the next day for Kara. 

“Okay, how was that one?” Lena asked as she finished, anxiously folding her hands together and fiddling with her fingers. 

“It was great, you just have kind of a  _ deer in the headlights _ look,” Kara said. “But you know everything, you aren’t stuttering or tripping over your words, just don’t look so nervous and it’ll be perfect.” 

“But I am nervous,” Lena responded, smiling bashfully. “How do I get rid of that?” 

Kara shrugged. “Well, I’ll be there. So if you start to feel anything less than overly prepared, just look for me, because I’m sure you can do it.” 

Lena’s cheeks filled with heat at Kara’s words. “You really think so?” 

Kara nodded. “I’m positive. And Lydia is too, right muffin?” 

Lydia, who was completely distracted by the toy plane Lena had bought her at the airport, looked up at the sound of her name and grinned. 

“Mama is time for dinner,” she said. “We can have dino nuggies?” 

“Well, little miss bossy pants, I’m not sure if we can get dino nuggies, but I bet we could get you some plain noodles with butter, does that sound good?” 

Lydia shrugged and Kara smiled back at Lena. 

“I guess we should probably go…” she said.

When Kara booked the rooms, Lena made sure she bought herself a suite for the next few nights across the hall. She told her not to worry about paying for it and to consider it a thank you for coming on the trip with her. Kara wanted to argue that as her assistant, it was her job to come with her, but she didn’t say anything. Just like she didn’t say anything about how she would’ve much rather stayed with Lena for a little while longer than in her own room, even if she appreciated the gesture. 

“If you guys want to order room service, we could all eat in here,” Lena suggested, pulling at the tips of her fingers. “But we don’t have to.” 

“I wanna stay with Lena!” Lydia exclaimed before Kara could get a word out. She got up and flopped onto Lena’s lap, tacking her in a hug. 

“Oh!” Lena laughed when two tiny arms were thrown around her neck. “Kara, the room service menu is on the desk.” 

“I should warn you, I’ve been known to build up quite the tab,” Kara said as she began to read over the menu. Something about her Kryptonian appetite always made ordering food so expensive. That and her complete lack of self-control and decisiveness, which normally led to her ordering almost the entire menu. 

“It’s alright, it’s on me,” Lena said casually. She lifted Lydia’s shirt to blow a raspberry kiss to her belly and Lydia instantly erupted into a fit of laughter.

“Are you sure?”

“My room, my rules.”

* * *

Three orders of breadsticks, one hummus platter, a family-sized margarita pizza, and a  _ very _ reluctant bite of kale salad later, Kara was sitting on the couch, listening to Lena go over her talk once more while Lydia slept peacefully with the entire bed to herself. 

“That was so much better, you didn’t even look nervous this time,” she said excitedly when Lena finished. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, that was like the best you’ve done it!” 

Lena smiled and sat down beside her. “I did the thing you said, whenever I started psyching myself out I could hear your voice telling me that I knew it.” 

“Just do that tomorrow and you’ll be perfect,” Kara said, her words filled with confidence. But Lena’s face fell at her words; she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her stomach, her expression turning serious.

“Tomorrow… if anything happens, do we have a plan?” She asked. “I know you said to try not to freak myself out but I-- it would kind of suck if I remembered the speech but was murdered halfway through.” 

Kara placed a hand on Lena’s lap. She could see Lena’s worry right through her fake smile and dark humor. She could see how afraid she really was. 

“Alex and Maggie are flying in tomorrow morning with backup just in case. If anything happens, they’ll make sure the crowd is safe. And I’ll be with you, I’ll get rid of the attacker, they’ll be arrested, and I’ll stay with you after for as long as you need.” 

Lena swallowed thickly and nodded. Even though she trusted Kara, it was still terrifying to think about. At any given moment, someone could jump out of the shadows and try to kill her, or worse, hurt the people around her. She never had any control, not even when things finally started to feel like they were going her way, she was always at the mercy of someone else. 

“I won’t let anyone get to you, I promise,” Kara said, taking Lena’s hand in her own. “Not Lillian, not anyone.” 

“I know,” Lena said, her voice low and raspy. 

Kara reached into the pocket of her hoodie and pulled out a watch. She flipped up the face, revealing a small button shaped like the house of El crest. 

“I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but it might help to have it now,” she said. 

“What is it?” 

“It’s a panic button,” Kara explained. “If you’re ever in danger or you need me, just press it and I’ll be there. Alex has one too. She’s used it a few times, so don’t feel bad if you have to use it too.” 

Lena smiled as Kara put the watch around her wrist, the small touch of her fingers brushing against her arm filling her with butterflies. 

“You can use it day or night, whenever you need. And I will  _ always _ be there.” 

“Always?” Lena asked. 

Kara nodded, giving her hand a squeeze. “Always.”

* * *

Lena’s TedTalk went much better than she could’ve ever imagined. She watched Kara, who was smiling back at her from the audience the entire time and somehow, her nerves quickly melted away. The audience loved her, giving her far better reactions than she was prepared for. They laughed at all her jokes and cheered wildly when she left the stage. Lena was sure she even saw a teenage girl in the audience taking notes throughout the entire thing. It was incredible, she almost didn’t want it to end.

“Lena, you were amazing!” Kara cried out as she came backstage and into the green room, immediately embracing Lena a hug. “You had everyone so invested, I could’ve listened to you talk for hours.” 

“Thank you, Kara,” Lena said, closing her eyes and allowing herself to bask in the moment. She could smell Kara’s lavender shampoo as Kara held her tightly, her warmth filling Lena with a sense of safety and security she’d never felt with anyone else before. 

“I swear, you almost made me cry,” Kara continued. “And you were talking about biochemical engineering, that’s how good it was.”

Lena rested her head on Kara’s shoulder, smiling from ear to ear as she listened to Kara go on and on about how well she did. 

“I personally got kind of bored towards the end, but what do I know?” 

The two pulled away and turned around at the sound of Lillian’s voice, Lena instinctively grabbing onto Kara’s hand and tried to hold her chin high, not allowing her mother to throw her off. 

“And what was with that smile when you walked off? You almost tricked me into thinking you’d done something impressive.” Lillian continued. She placed both hands on her hips, watching for even the tiniest crack in Lena’s confident facade. 

“What do you want?” 

“Well, every time I send one of my people after you, they always fail,” Lillian said with an irritated huff, cocking her head to the side. “So I thought I’d come retrieve you for myself.” 

“For what? Some mother-daughter bonding?” Lena raised an eyebrow. “I think you’re a bit late for that.” 

“Oh God no,” Lillian scoffed and shook her head. “You have something I want. Something I need in Lex’s old lab.” 

“Then why don’t you go to him? He was always your little protege, not me.” 

“You know how your brother can be. He cut me off.” 

“Aw, did he hurt your feelings?” Lena said, pouting like a child. 

“Alright enough,” Lillian barked and pulled out a gun, holding it up to Lena. 

“Hey, step away from her,” Kara said sharply and threw herself in front of Lena. She could hear Lena’s heart pounding as Lillian stepped forward and fired twice.

The bullets bounced off Kara’s chest, landing on the ground with a clatter. It was the only noise that could be heard over the room's deafening silence. 

Just as Lillian was about to fire again, the door to the green room flew open.

“Drop the weapon, hands where I can see them!” Maggie yelled. She and Alex had their arms outstretched and guns pointed at Lillian, ready for her to move at any moment. 

“I know you have what I’m looking for,” Lillian growled. 

“Drop the weapon,  _ now. _ ”

And surprisingly, without any more arguments, Lillian set her weapon down on the floor and reluctantly put her hands up. She sighed as she watched Lena, never breaking eye contact for a second.

“I’ll be out in a week on bail at the longest,” she said with a cold chuckle. “So you have your fun with your little Kryptonian girlfriend, but I’ll be back.” 

With that Maggie cuffed her while Lillian continued to stare Lena down, her eyes shooting daggers. 

“Lillian Luthor, you’re under arrest for aiding and abetting a felon and attempted aggravated assault with a deadly weapon,” Maggie said. “You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney...” 

“You were weak today Lena, you always have been,” Lillian whispered. “You don’t deserve the Luthor name.” 

Kara shook her head. “You’ve got that backward. The Luthor name doesn’t deserve Lena,” she shot back as Maggie escorted Lillian out of the room. 

The door shut and Lena let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. She covered her mouth with her hands, trying to stay somewhat collected so she wouldn’t completely fall apart. 

“Do you think you could give us a minute?” Kara asked Alex, who was still lingering in the doorway. 

“Yeah, do you want me to get Lydia from the daycare center and bring her back to the hotel?” 

Kara nodded. “That would be great, thanks, Alex.” 

Alex smiled at her sister before leaving, quietly shutting the door behind her. 

“Hey, are you alright?” Kara asked, turning back to Lena. 

“She’s gone,” Lena breathed, as if she couldn’t quite believe the words she was saying. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the sofa as Lillian’s arrest replayed itself in her head, over and over again. 

“She’s gone I…” she leaned forward and put her head in her hands, unable to find the right words. “I never thought she’d be caught.” 

She looked back up at Kara, managing a small smile. “She’s gone.” 

Kara nodded, taking a seat beside Lena. “She’s gone,” she said softly. “She can’t get to you anymore.” 

Lena exhaled and laid her head on Kara’s shoulder. She wasn’t sure if she should laugh or cry, if she should feel guilty or celebrate. She’d never thought Lillian would actually be arrested. She never thought she’d finally be free. But now she was, and she had absolutely no idea what to do with herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of fluff planned for the next chapter, I already have a few pages written, so I'm gonna try to get it up soon :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda a mess, i'm sorry

The hotel dining hall was filled with chatter as guests went to and from the buffet to their tables, grabbing more food and laughing with their friends and families. Lena and Kara made their way through all the displays of food, Lydia holding their hands and skipping happily between them.

“Part of me wishes we didn’t have to go back today,” Lena thought aloud, glancing over at Kara. “It’s just so nice here, if we hadn’t come for work I would’ve loved to see the rest of the town.” 

“Well, I actually grew up here,” Kara said. “When we get back, I could show you some pictures, I have like a million old photo albums lying around my apartment.” 

Lena grinned. “Really?” 

“I’d love to.” 

“Mama, cupcakes!” Lydia exclaimed, jumping up and down and pointing to one of the tables. 

“No, Lydia, those are muffins,” Kara said with a chuckle. “But you can have one if you want, you just have to eat some fruit too.”

“Okay,” Lydia said, with much less excitement this time. 

“Lena, I’m so sorry, I need to use the restroom, do you think you could watch her for a second? I’ll be right back.” Kara asked apologetically as their little group came to a stop.

“It’s no problem at all,” Lena said, smiling down at Lydia. 

“Thank you so much, you’re the best.” 

“Alright, you ready to get some breakfast?” Lena asked once Kara was gone. 

Lydia nodded eagerly as Lena picked her up so she could see all the different foods. In her free hand, Lena grabbed a plate and continued to walk around the buffet.

“Just let me know what you want, okay?” 

Lydia nodded again and rested her head on Lena’s shoulder. “Muffins and eggies and cereal and yogurt and waffles and milk and--” 

“Let’s start with some eggs for now,” Lena said with a chuckle. She somehow managed to scoop a small toddler-sized spoonful onto the plate without dropping either it or the child, which she believed to be pretty impressive. “Let’s go get some fruit, do you want strawberries?” 

“I want boobies.” 

“Blueberries?” 

Lydia nodded. Lena was about to take a pre-packaged fruit salad when she felt a tap on her free shoulder. When she turned around, she saw a tall man looking down at her, smirking with a confidence that she could tell he certainly hadn’t earned. 

“Can I help you?” She asked, adjusting Lydia on her hip. 

“I saw your talk yesterday,” he said. “You have a lovely voice.” 

“Oh… thank you.” Lena went to turn back around but before she could move, he spoke up again. 

“You’re a very hard woman to reach, I’m honestly surprised I was able to catch you now.” 

Lena grimaced. “Well, that’s by design.” 

“Is this your daughter?” 

“She’s a friend’s.” 

He smiled, he liked that answer. It meant Lena was most likely single. 

“Lena, I’m hungry,” Lydia complained. 

“I know, love,” Lena said. She went to step past the man who’d been speaking to her, but he moved to the side, blocking her path. 

“I understand you’re probably busy but--” 

“Lena!” Lydia whined and kicked her legs restlessly. “I want breakfast.”

“Do you think you could take just one picture.” 

“Now isn’t a great time, I’m sorry,” Lena said through gritted teeth as she struggled to continue balancing the now extremely fussy, squirming toddler on her hip. 

“It’s just one picture, though,” he said and held up his phone. Just as Lena went to object, the flash went off, right into Lydia’s eyes. She let out an ear-piercing scream at the bright light and buried her face in Lena’s neck, crying loudly while all heads turned to the three of them. 

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” Kara stepped in front of Lena and placed both hands on her hips. 

“Nothing, I was just making conversation,” the man said defensively and raised his hands up as if he’d been completely innocent. 

“Just because you see her on TV,” Kara continued and pointed to Lena. “Or at a TedTalk or whatever, doesn’t mean she’s public property. You can’t just harass her because you want something from her, she’s not your puppet.” 

Lydia began to cry even harder at the sound of the anger in Kara’s voice. Lena knelt down on the ground and set the plate on a table so she could hold her in her lap, rubbing her back reassuringly while she told her it would all be okay. 

“And I don’t care if you thought you were being nice, she is a  _ person _ who deserves privacy and respect,” Kara said sharply. “You have no right to follow her around, especially while she’s alone, and take advantage of her kindness.” 

“Listen, I’m not trying to cause any trouble I just--” 

“Well, you have, and you made a two-year-old cry, so I hope you’re proud of yourself,” Kara cut him off. With that, he accepted his defeat and finally walked away, leaving the restaurant in uncomfortable silence, the only sound coming from Lydia, who’s sobbing had turned into quiet cries, muffled against Lena’s shirt. 

“I’m so sorry about that, are you guys alright?” Kara asked, placing a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder as Lena stood up and brushed herself off. She handed Lydia to Kara, who immediately latched onto her mom as Lena tried to recompose herself. 

“It’s fine, I’m used to it. I just hate-- he wouldn’t stop and I knew no matter what I said he wasn’t going to,” Lena said, her voice breaking. She folded her arms over her chest as if to wrap herself in a hug, wishing more than anything she could just disappear. 

“It was so humiliating,” she whispered.

Kara nodded and took Lena’s hand in hers. “It wasn’t your fault, he should be the one who’s embarrassed.” 

“And I had her, he just-- the amount of disregard for common decency one has to have to bother someone with a baby like that it’s just… I don’t know… it’s disgusting.” 

It only took a second before Kara started to overhear the rest of the hotel guests talking about Lena and her family under their breaths and in hushed whispers. Even if Lena couldn’t hear their words, Kara knew she was just as aware of what they were talking about as she was. She could only imagine how it would feel to constantly be as exposed as she was. 

“Do you want to go back to your room?” She suggested. “We can order room service or Lydia and I can leave you alone if that’s what you need.”

Lena nodded. “Can you stay with me?” She asked after a moment of hesitation. 

“Of course.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kara asked as she calmingly stroked Lena’s hair. 

“I’m fine,” Lena said, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder. “It happens all the time.” 

“I know, but that doesn’t make it any better.” 

Lena bit her lip, willing herself not to cry. She didn’t want to believe Kara was right, it was so much easier to just tell herself it was normal and try not to think about it. And she couldn’t let herself get upset now, not with Lydia sitting across both of their laps, watching SpongeBob. Kara had seen her break like this too many times already, she couldn’t do it again, not in front of her kid. It would be too humiliating. 

“Is it okay if we just don’t talk about it?” She asked, looking up at Kara. 

“Of course.” 

Lena let her head fall to Kara’s chest and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. Normally, she hated getting this close to people. When others touched her, no matter how small the gesture, it always made her skin crawl and her fight or flight instincts activate. But not with Kara. With Kara she felt cherished and wanted, a feeling she’d never had around anyone else before. 

She wanted to say something, she wanted to thank her, or tell her how much she meant to her. However, Kara’s phone rang just as Lena was starting to find the right words. 

Kara sighed, but picked it up and answered, mindlessly twirling Lena’s hair around her finger while she listened to whoever was on the other line speak. Her expression quickly turned serious and Lena couldn’t help but watch, even though she knew whatever was going on was probably none of her business. 

“Do you know when it’ll be fixed?” Kara asked, turning down the volume on the tv so she could focus. “Okay… no I guess that’s alright… thanks for letting me know, bye.” 

“Is everything alright?” Lena asked once she hung up. 

“There’s a problem with the plane we were supposed to take back home, apparently part of the engine caught fire and all their other flights are booked.” 

“How are we supposed to get back?” 

Kara shrugged. “I don’t know. But the hotel doesn’t have any availability after today, so we need to figure something out.” 

Lena went back to resting her head on Kara’s chest while they both quite literally put their heads together to think. And it didn’t take long before Lydia got bored of her show and decided she wanted to cuddle with them. So she stretched herself out between the both of them, with her head in Lena’s lap and feet on Kara’s. 

“Hey,” Kara said, the first one to speak up after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “My mom lives here. Not  _ here, _ but in Midvale. She’s actually only a few miles from the hotel. If you’re okay with it, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind letting us stay with her for the night.”

Lena hesitated, unsure of what to say. Kara had already done so much for her today, she didn’t want to put her mother in an awkward position too. And even if Kara’s mom was okay with having her stay, Lena was dirty, she wasn’t the type of person any caring parent would want around their daughter. She came from a family of xenophobes and murderers, most of whom wanted to see Kara dead. And after all the times Lena had put Kara’s life in danger, there was no way Kara’s mother would like her. 

“I don’t want to inconvenience her,” Lena said eventually. “You and Lydia should go… I can find a hotel or something.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Kara said, placing her hand over Lena’s. “You don’t have to come if it makes you uncomfortable but I promise, she won’t mind. She’s actually a scientist too, so she would love you.” 

“I don’t know, we’re in this whole mess because of my trip, I don’t want to bother anyone else.” 

“Lena, you’re never bothering me,” Kara said softly. “And you wouldn’t be bothering my mom either, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

“I wanna see Grams,” Lydia chimed in. She sat up and looked up at Lena, placing both hands on her cheeks. “Lena come?” 

“I…” Lena wanted to say no. But Lydia was looking at her with such big, hopeful eyes, and the hands on her face were so tiny and sweet. She couldn’t let her down. And though Lena wasn’t sure why, it seemed like Kara wanted her there, and she didn’t want to disappoint her either. So maybe she’d be able to survive the night, even if Kara’s mom did end up hating her. She’d do it for them.

“I guess I can go, as long as it’s okay with her.” 

Kara beamed from ear to ear at Lena’s response. “I’ll call her now.”

* * *

The gravel crunched beneath Lena’s feet as she stepped out of the car, a waft of cold, fresh air, covering her like a blanket. She smiled down at Lydia, who was fast asleep in her arms, with the puppy binky Lena made in her mouth. Lena still wasn't sure about this whole thing, but it was too late to turn back now. All she could do was hope Kara's mom wouldn't hate her and things might work out.

“Wish me luck kiddo,” Lena whispered and kissed her hair. 

“Come on, Lena!” Kara grabbed her hand excitedly and all but pulled her up to the front porch. She gave Lena’s hand a squeeze, sensing her anxiety, and smiled reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry, she’s gonna love you.” 

“Kara, oh it’s so good to see you again!” Eliza exclaimed as she opened the front door and immediately wrapped Kara in a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I know, I missed you too,” Kara said, beaming ear to ear as she pulled away. “So did Lydia, I’m sure she’ll talk your ear off when she wakes up.” 

Eliza smiled lovingly at Lydia, then up at Lena. 

“You must be Lena, I’ve heard so much about you,” she said, her happy expression never wavering for a second. 

“Yeah, it’s great to meet you, Mrs. Danvers,” Lena said, holding out her hand. Eliza took it but instead of shaking it just held it, firmly yet gently. “I’m so sorry to impose on you like this, there was a problem with the plane so we can’t get back home. But I’ll do my best to stay out of your hair.” 

“It’s no problem at all. I get to see both my daughters and my grandbaby, so I’ve got nothing to complain about,” Eliza said, casually brushing it off. “And please, call me Eliza.” 

Kara gave Lena a grin as the three of them walked inside, the floorboards creaking under the weight of their bodies.

The house was small but warm just like Kara’s apartment. Lena took note of all the pictures on the wall, they were mostly of Kara and Alex as kids but a few were of Lydia as a baby. And out of the corner of her eye, Lena saw there were even a few drawings and finger paintings from Alex’s childhood on the fridge. 

“Why don’t you two make yourselves comfortable, I can put Lydia down upstairs. She has a crib set up in Kara’s old room,” Eliza said, carefully taking Lydia in her arms and quietly shushing her when the toddler began to stir. 

“And Kara, get all the bags, your friend looks exhausted.”

“Alright, Mom.” 

“Alex and Maggie should be here soon, so you can leave the door unlocked,” Eliza said before walking Lydia upstairs to Kara’s bedroom. 

Once Kara was done bringing in their luggage (which only took a few seconds, thanks to her super-speed), she sat down on the sofa beside Lena, who was looking down at her lap and pulling at the tips of her fingers. 

“Hey,” she said, startling Lena slightly. “If you want, I could show you around. In the backyard, we still have this old treehouse from when Alex and I were younger. The first time she had a boy over, I hid up there and spied on them for like two hours.”

Lena looked up and laughed. “How did that work out?” 

“Well, she caught me and it scared the poor guy away. It was probably for the best though, I mean, considering she’s gay and all that.”

“At least she didn’t lead him on for too long,” Lena said with a slight smile. 

“Yeah. And I loved hiding up there, I felt like a secret agent.”

“Lex used to have a treehouse too. By the time I was old enough to play in it, he’d outgrown it so I used to go up there and read for hours” Lena said, grinning at the memory. “No one ever came up there, so when I got older I decorated it with fairy lights and band posters and all the things I liked that I wasn’t allowed to have in my room. It was my own little special hideaway.” 

Kara had to stop herself before she offered to build Lena a new treehouse. She just saw how happy she was when she talked about it, Kara wished she could be the one to make her smile like that. Only, she might have to start with something a tad smaller. A treehouse seemed like it might freak her out, just a little bit.

* * *

“Kara, honey, I need to talk to you,” Eliza said. She guided Kara into her old room and shut the door, sitting down on the bed next to her. “It’s about Lena.” 

“What about Lena?” 

“Well, first off, she’s a very sweet girl and I can tell she cares about you and Lydia a lot,” Eliza began. 

“But?” 

“No ‘buts’, I can just tell from the way you look at her and treat her that you seem to like her.” Eliza paused and placed a hand on Kara’s knee. “As more than a friend” 

“What?” Kara asked, waiting to see if Eliza was kidding. 

“I-- we’re close but no,” she said defensively when her mom didn’t respond. “We’re friends, that’s it.” 

“Kara, I don’t mean to be rude but Hellen Keller could see you have a crush on her.” 

“I--” Kara wanted to protest but she knew it wasn’t worth it. And even if she did somehow convince her mom she was wrong, she did have feelings for Lena.    
Whether she was ready to admit this or not, they were still there; and they seemed to grow stronger every day.

“Okay fine,” she said with a huff. “But she’s my boss  _ and _ my friend. I don’t want to ruin what we have if she doesn’t feel the same way.” 

“She feels the same way,” Eliza said, sounding far more sure of herself than Kara was prepared for. “I see the way she gets around you, Kara, she’s in love with you.” 

_ She’s in love with you. _ Kara wasn’t sure how to respond to that, she hadn’t even considered that Lena might  _ like _ her, loving her seemed completely absurd. Of course, Kara would be over the moon if Eliza was right and Lena loved her. She just didn’t want to let herself believe it was true. She didn’t want to ruin what they had. And if Lena rejected her, that might be the end of them.

“Just talk to her,” Eliza encouraged. “You don’t know what she’ll say until you speak up.” 

Kara nodded. “I’ll try.” 

“Trust me, it’s all gonna work out.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo i feel bad about this, but I'm gonna take about a week off from this fic  
> basically it's just not as much fun as it used to be, and I want to work on the penpal fic I started, and another new fic that'll be posted soon. i just don't want to put out bad chapters because I feel obligated to write, and I feel like this one wasn't great. so i'll be back soon, i just don't want to ruin a fic that i love so much


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the idiots are in love

Kara yawned as she got out of bed, rubbing her eyes and listening to the soft breeze tapping against the window. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed being home with Eliza until now. And even though it was inconvenient, she couldn’t help but be grateful for the situation they were in. She got to be back in Midvale with her family and Lena, who was starting to become one of them. There was nothing more she could ask for. 

She stretched her arms and cracked her back as she opened her eyes, doing a double-take when she realized Lena wasn’t asleep next to her. With another yawn, Kara got up and made her way over to Lydia’s part of the room to check on her before she went to look for Lena, her heart melting at the sight in front of her. 

Lena was fast asleep in Lydia’s crib, her legs bent so she could fit and Lydia passed out on her chest. Lena had one hand on Lydia’s back and the other on the top of her head. Kara smiled to herself as she leaned down and placed a kiss on the back of Lydia’s head, her lips grazing against Lena’s fingers as she pulled away. 

“Lena,” she whispered, gently shaking her shoulder. 

Lena hummed in response and slowly opened her eyes. “What time is it?” 

“Seven,” Kara said quietly so she wouldn’t wake her daughter. “What are you doing in here?” 

“When I came to bed you were already asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up. But Lydia was floating and wouldn’t go back to sleep because she was scared of going too high,” Lena explained. “So I said I’d hold her until she fell asleep so she wouldn’t fly away. I guess I fell asleep too.” 

“That was really sweet of you,” Kara said. “But you can wake me up next time, I don’t mind.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” 

Kara shook her head. “Don’t be, I’m sure she loved getting to snuggle with you.” 

“Here, let me help you out,” Kara said, taking Lena’s hand in her own and gently pulling her up. Once she was sitting, Lena slowly took Lydia off of her chest and laid her back in the crib. But as soon as Lydia touched the mattress, she began to cry. She reached her arms up and kicked her legs, the movement pulling her out of her sleep. 

“Mama!” 

“It’s okay, baby, I’m right here,” Kara said, taking her out of the crib and holding her close. She wrapped her other arm around Lena and lifted her up as if she weighed nothing at all and placed her on the ground. 

“I got you, Mama’s right here.” She bounced Lydia up and down until she eventually stopped crying and started playing with the puppy clipped onto her pacifier. 

“Don’t worry, she just gets cranky when she’s woken up,” Kara said before Lena could ask if she’d done anything to upset her. 

“You’re not a morning person, are you muffin?” She said and kissed Lydia on the cheek. Kara then took Lena’s hand in hers and looked back over at her with a smile. 

“You know, she loves you so much.” 

Lena blushed, internally cursing herself for getting so flustered over the daughter of the girl she liked. It was as if Kara’s whole family had a spell on her. But she wouldn’t complain, the day she’d spent with the Danvers’ had been better than all her years with the Luthor’s combined. 

“I love you too, Lydia,” Lena said. She held out her hand and Lydia wrapped her fist around Lena’s tallest finger. 

As she grinned, Lena couldn’t help but hope Lydia wouldn’t say anything to give away what she’d told her last night, at least not until Lena had the chance to apologize to Kara. Luckily, she didn’t but instead told Lena that  _ she had silly nails. _

“Mama? I could go to aunt Allie?” Lydia then asked, looking up at Kara with a smile. 

“I was just telling Lena how much you love her and now you wanna leave?” Kara said, pretending to be offended. 

Lydia smiled. “So I could go to aunt Allie.” 

“Alright,” Kara said with a sigh as she set Lydia on the ground. “Go jump on her bed to wake her up, she’ll love that.” 

“Okay, Mama!” Lydia called out happily as she ran out of the room. 

“You’re evil,” Lena said with a chuckle once the toddler was gone. 

Kara shrugged. “She’s my sister, it’s what she gets.”

“Still evil.”

“If you say so.” 

A slight pause.

“Hey if you’re up to it, there’s something I kind of want to show you,” Kara said after a minute. 

“Right now?” Lena asked. 

“Yeah… I don’t think it’ll take too long,” Kara said. She’d been thinking about doing this since last night. Well, she’d been thinking about what she’d say if the moment ever happened, for months now, but she’d convinced herself it wouldn’t. This time though, Kara was thinking about it for real. It was at the point where she wouldn’t be able to get rid of these thoughts, even if she wanted to. She knew she had to say it now or she never would. 

“So… do you want to?” Kara asked hopefully. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

Lena looked down at her hands. She couldn’t help but feel like whatever it was Kara was going to show her, she didn’t deserve it. After what happened last night, if Kara found out, which she probably would because little kids can’t stay silent about anything, she would hate her. No-- not hate her, Kara didn’t hate anyone. But things would be different, they’d be awkward and damaged, all because of Lena. Or maybe she’d messed things up badly enough that Kara really would hate her. It was always a possibility. 

“Great! Let’s go” Kara said, grinning from ear to ear. 

Lena nodded, letting Kara take her hand as the sound of Lydia’s small voice saying ‘ _ will you be my mommy?’  _ in between yawns before she’d fallen asleep replayed itself in her head. It was then she’d known she’d fucked up. She’d gone too far, been invading Kara’s personal life for too long. And it had finally done real damage.

‘ _ You already have a Mama,’ _ Lena had told Lydia as the toddler curled up against her chest. 

‘ _ I want you too’ _ had been Lydia’s response before she fell asleep on top of her. 

Now, Lena couldn’t help but feel like some sort of traitor as she followed Kara out of their room, down the staircase and out the back door. 

“Should I have put clothes on for this?” She asked, her free arm around herself protectively as the flannel pajama pants she’d borrowed from Kara brushed against the grass. 

“No, we’re not going far,” Kara said. She gave Lena’s hand a squeeze and smiled at her, Lena’s heart and stomach filling with butterflies at the gesture. They ran across the yard like teenagers, laughing wildly, not even stopping when Lena almost tripped over a rock.

Kara made everything seem so normal, so comfortable, that Lena couldn’t help but love her. She loved every second they spent together, every moment where they got to be a family. She wished it never had to end. 

“Okay, this is it.” Kara stopped her at a large oak tree with a rope ladder and treehouse hidden in the branches. “You said you used to love your treehouse as a kid, so I wanted to show you mine.” 

Lena squeezed her hand back, not able to find the right words to describe what she was feeling. Kara smiled over at her, filling her with warmth as she guided her over to the ladder. Kara climbed up first, so she could show Lena, who was slightly skeptical, that it wouldn’t collapse beneath their weight, that it was completely safe. 

“Come up, it’s all good up here,” Kara said, peering down at her from the trap door. 

“Alright,” Lena said with a laugh as she began to climb the ladder. 

“The creaking is just the wind,” Kara added when the wood settled beneath her footsteps. 

“It better be.” 

Lena stuck her head through the hole and looked around at the small space. “Oh-- Kara! There are spiders!” 

Kara laughed and sat down, leaning against the trunk of the tree. “Yeah, it’s been a while since anyone’s been up here. You’re really not a nature person are you?” 

“I am, spiders are just freaky. It’s not natural for something to have that many legs.” Lena explained as she closed the trap door and sat down beside Kara. Kara wanted to comment on how of all the things Lena worked with, spiders were the thing she called unnatural, but refrained.

The treehouse was quite small, not small enough that Lena and Kara had to sit side by side with their bodies pressed together though. However, the closeness was almost an instinct for them. That and Kara’s body was like a furnace against Lena’s skin, especially with the cool morning air flowing through the open windows. 

“Well, other than the spiders what do you think?” Kara asked with a smile full of anticipation.

“I like it,” Lena said, leaning her head against Kara’s shoulder. “I’m really glad you showed me.” 

She looked over at her, the space between them mere inches. She could close the gap, she could just go for it, she could risk it all and all her questions would be answered within seconds. But there was something pulling her back, telling her she’d only be rejected. And that voice was much easier to listen to, the one that told her she shouldn’t risk losing Kara all together just because of some silly feelings.

“Did you do that?” Lena asked to take her mind off her ever-persistent yearning. She pointed to a faded red heart drawn on the wall with  _ K+PB _ written inside it, getting a nod from Kara.

“Yeah,” she said, laughing at the memory. 

“Whose PB?” 

“Peanut butter,” Kara admitted. “When I first got to Earth, I’d see these girls in my class writing their initials next to boys they liked. I didn’t understand it, I thought you could just do it with anything you liked, and I really wanted to fit in. Peanut butter was my absolute favorite thing too-- they don’t have it on Krypton so little thirteen-year-old me loved it so much. So that was my attempt to be like all the other girls, looking back it’s kinda weird though.” 

Lena chuckled and shook her head. “No, it’s adorable.” 

“Thank you, I’m glad you think so.” 

Lena nodded, absentmindedly taking Kara’s hand in hers once more and playing with her fingers the way she normally did with her own.

“If it makes you feel any better, I used to hide  _ Friends  _ posters in my treehouse because I had the biggest crush on Courtney Cox,” she confessed. 

“Really?” Kara asked. “I never would have pegged you for a  _ Friends _ fan.” 

“Oh, I never watched it. I was hardly ever allowed to watch tv at all, but before I went to boarding school, there was a mall near my high school and I thought she was so pretty that I wasted all my allowance on them.” 

“Okay, that makes more sense. And now, we like  _ have _ to have a movie night so I can show you all the iconic movies and tv shows you were missing out on growing up,” Kara said enthusiastically. “Have you ever seen a Disney movie?” 

Lena shook her head. 

“Well, just come over any weekend before Lydia’s in bed and you’ll see at least six.” 

“Actually… speaking of Lydia, there’s something I should probably tell you,” Lena said quietly. 

“What is it?” 

“Last night, when I was putting her to bed, she asked me if she could call me her mommy.” 

“Oh.” 

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep and I didn’t want to--”

“No, it’s okay,” Kara said softly. “As I said earlier, she loves you, and as long as you’re not uncomfortable, I’m fine with it. But if you feel weird about it or anything, just tell me and I can talk to her, it’s really no big deal.”

“You’re sure it’s okay?” Lena asked. 

Kara nodded. “Honestly, it kind of makes what I’ve been wanting to tell you a little bit easier,” she admitted. She could hear Lena’s heart rate pick up at those words as she glanced back at her, waiting for her to explain, her eyes filled with wonder. 

“I probably should’ve said something a long time ago, but I was just so scared of losing you because even though you’re my boss, you’re like my best friend and I…” 

Kara’s voice trailed off as she watched Lena carefully, trying to see if she’d freaked her out. But Lena seemed to want her to keep going so she did, allowing everything she’d been keeping inside for what felt like a lifetime to finally come out. 

“I just… you mean so much to me, and having you in my life it-- it’s everything. And when I think of you-- of being with you, I just get this feeling in my heart and I-- I never want it to go away,” she stopped herself once more and looked Lena in the eye. “Lena I… I love you.” 

Lena’s breath caught in her throat as tears sprang to her eyes. She could listen to those words forever and never get sick of it. It almost felt too good to be true, like some sort of dream she was bound to wake up from eventually.

“You love me?” She repeated, her voice so low Kara wouldn’t have been able to hear it if she’d been human. 

Kara nodded. “Yeah… is that okay?”

A smile spread across Lena’s lips, larger than Kara had ever seen from her before. “Kara that-- that’s more than okay,” she said with a tearful laugh. “You make me so happy, more than anyone ever has. And I-- I know this sounds stupid and cliche, but I really have never met anyone like you before, you’re just… you’re my person, Kara, and I love you too.” 

“You do?” Kara asked, unable to believe any of this was really happening. 

“You started crying and I-- I thought…”

Lena shook her head and wiped her eyes. “These are happy tears, I promise.”

“Hey! Can you two lovebirds stop making out and get down here? Lydia wants you!” 

Kara sighed and stood up. She made her way over to the window to see Alex standing in the grass below her, looking as disheveled as ever. 

“We’ll be right there,” Kara yelled back before sitting back down beside Lena. 

“I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s okay,” Lena said, brushing it off as if it were nothing. 

“Before we go… there’s one more thing,” Kara began, looking down at her hands. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes, please.” Lena nodded as Kara leaned in. She placed both hands on Lena’s waist, closing her eyes as their lips touched. She felt something explode inside of her as they finally came together, an electricity radiating between the two of them. And as they finally came up for air, Kara knew without a doubt in her mind she’d done the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so like i guess it's good that it happened but also I cant write love confessions so I HATED writing this bc I knew it was cringey and awkward and just real bad overall sooo yeah this is definitely not my favorite chapter 
> 
> also i kinda have bad news (only slightly bad for me) i wont be updating this fic again until august. currently, I'm trying to write an original novel and my goal is to finish it by July 30th. I've been writing at least 1,667 words a day so that I'll reach this goal and so far every day I've been ahead, enough so that i was able to take a break today to write this chapter. i promise, this is just for the end of the month, not forever, and i will be back. if anything, my time away from this fic has made me want to work on it even more, so if i ever get far enough ahead again that i can afford to take another day off, i may even update before then :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some happier moments before they get back to National City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not even gonna lie this is all fluff but I despise it so much :)

Lydia huffed as she climbed up onto the bed, crawling across Kara and Lena’s entangled bodies until she reached their faces. 

“Wake up wake up wake up!” She exclaimed, bouncing up and down on Kara, losing her balance and toppling into Lena’s arms. 

“Baby, it’s too early to be awake,” Lena mumbled as she caught her, mustering up a smile and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“No, we gotta go _swimming_!” Lydia said, dramatically throwing her arms up in the air.

“How’d you get out of your crib?” Kara asked with a yawn. 

“I went up.” Lydia pointed to her crib, drawing a vague line with her finger across the rest of the room. “And I go out to mommies so we can swim.” 

“You flew over here?” Kara asked, still trying to wrap her head around the whole thing. 

“I went up!” Lydia whined, irritated that her mom’s couldn’t grasp her _very_ understandable statement. “So now we could go swimming?” 

“It’s 6:30, Lydia,” Lena said with a yawn. “It’s too early to swim.”

Lydia let out a long, exasperated sigh, and flopped forward onto Lena’s stomach. 

“Hey, come here,” Lena said, gesturing for her to come closer. The toddler crawled across her abdomen, kneeing and elbowing her in the most uncomfortable spots possible. Lena whispered something into her ear, smiling as she finished.

“Are you two conspiring without me?” Kara asked. 

Lena raised an eyebrow. “What, like you couldn’t hear what I just said?” 

“Actually, I couldn’t. I’m very slow in the morning.”

“Okay, good,” Lena said with a grin. “You stay here, we’ll be ready for you soon.” 

“What?” 

“Shh, Mama issa secret,” Lydia said, holding up a finger over her lips for emphasis. “Can’t spill the beans!” 

“Okay, you guys have fun,” Kara said with a sigh and laid back down. “I’ll just be here, all alone, waiting for you to come back.” 

“You’re such a drama queen.” Lena laughed but tilted her head so she could kiss her on the cheek. “We’ll be downstairs if you need us.” 

“Alright, I’ll try to be okay on my own.” 

"Drama queen!"

* * *

“Why so many?” Lydia asked as she watched Lena set the table from where she sat, perched on her shoulders. 

“This ones for Mama, that one’s me, then your Aunt Alex, Aunt Maggie, and your Grams,” Lena explained. 

“I gotta special chair,” Lydia pointed out once Lena passed her place setting. 

“You do, you have a booster seat.” 

On the other side of the house, Kara sauntered through the hallway, yawning as she scratched her head and tried to shake off the rest of her exhaustion. She stopped in the kitchen doorway, smiling at the sight in front of her. Lydia was sitting on Lena's shoulder had her chin rested on the top of Lena's head while she got everything set up for breakfast. 

“It makes me big.” 

“Yeah,” Lena said with a chuckle. 

“I’m ‘ready a big girl, though,” Lydia added. 

“Yes, you are.” 

“Hey, what are you two up to?” Kara asked, taking a step into the kitchen. 

Lena turned around and the color drained from her face at the sight. She held up a fork and smiled nervously, hoping now that Kara was here, that this whole thing hadn’t been a big mistake. 

“I-- I made breakfast. I wanted to thank Eliza for letting me stay, and to apologize for the trouble.” 

“Lena, you didn’t have to do all this,” Kara said softly, running her hand down Lena’s arm. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, but you don’t have to apologize.” 

“I know,” Lena said as her cheeks grew pink. “I also wanted to do something for you. Just… just because.” 

Kara grinned, leaning over to press a kiss to Lena’s lips. “You really have found the way to my heart.” 

“With waffles?” Lydia piped up, excitedly swinging her legs back and forth and in turn, kicking her mom in the forehead. 

“Yes, with waffles,” Kara said with a chuckle. “Did you help Lena put all this together?” 

Lydia nodded proudly. “I made breakfast an Mommy only helped that much,” she said, holding up two fingers about an inch apart. 

“Is that so?” Kara asked. 

“I could cook now,” Lydia said. 

“Well, I bet you did a great job,” Kara said, standing on her toes to kiss Lydia on the nose. She absentmindedly took Lena’s hands in her own as she smiled, her mind wandering to what would happen once they all went back to National City. She couldn’t be positive how things were going to be for sure, but she was certain that she couldn’t wait for more mornings like this, standing in the kitchen, surrounded by food, and her perfect little family. Just Lena and Lydia, that was all she needed.

* * *

“So, Lena, you did this all yourself?” Eliza asked as she passed the maple syrup to Maggie. 

“I had a little helper,” Lena said with a smile. 

“I’m the helper,” Lydia added, just in case anyone was confused. 

“You did a wonderful job,” Eliza said. “It’s so nice to not have to be the one making breakfast for once." 

“I'm glad you like it, I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay on such short notice,” Lena said. 

Eliza brushed it off. “Of course, any friend of Kara’s is welcome here.” 

Alex held up her fork to her mouth. “Girlfriend,” she said through a fake cough, earning her a punch on the arm from her sister. 

“Hey, watch it,” Alex said, poking her back. 

“Both of you, cut it out,” Eliza said, chastising them as if they were children. 

“Lydia, are you excited to go swimming?” Maggie asked to change the subject. 

“Yes!” Lydia exclaimed. “Gonna play mermaids with my mommies! And do big splashies!” 

The group fell silent, everyone's eyes shifting to Lena and Kara when Lydia said _mommies._ Though nobody said a thing, the silence was deafening as their unspoken questions dangled over the table. 

As Lydia continued to list all the reasons she couldn’t wait to go swimming, Kara slipped her hand under the table and over to Lena, running her fingers across her thigh until she found Lena’s palm. She took ahold of it, smiling as she gave her hand three squeezes. 

It was something Eliza had taught her when she first came to Earth. There would be moments where it was all too much, all the noise and bright lights had been so painful that Kara found herself unable to talk or communicate the things she needed. So Eliza would hold her hand and ask yes or no questions. One squeeze for yes, two for no, and three for I love you.

Even though there was no way for Lena to know what Kara was telling her, Kara hoped the physical affirmation, though small, was enough. 

“Aunt Maggie, you can play mermaids too?” Lydia asked, thankfully taking at least some of the attention off Lena and herself.

“Can I be a shark?” Maggie asked. 

Lydia shook her head. “No, gotta be a mermaid. Aunt Allie can be a mermaid?”

Alex nodded. “I’ll be a mermaid. And so will Aunt Maggie.” 

* * *

“Okay, let’s get all this syrup out of your hair before we get into the pool, muffin,” Kara said, lifting Lydia up and setting her down on the bathroom countertop in front of the mirror. She picked up a brush and turned on the faucet, holding it under the warm water.

“Repeat after me.”

Lydia nodded and smiled, reaching out so she could touch her reflection as Kara began to start brushing her hair. 

“I am strong.”

“I am strong,” Lydia repeated. She held up her arms and scrunched up her nose for emphasis, making Kara laugh as she tried to flex. 

In the other room, Lena wandered over to the open doorway, curious about what all the noise was. She hovered in the empty space between the bathroom and Kara’s bedroom to watch; the Danvers duo completely unaware of her presence as they went on with Lydia’s affirmations. She fiddled with her fingers as she observed, silently smiling at the sight in front of her.

“I am beautiful,” Kara continued.

“I am boo-ful,” Lydia said confidently. 

“My mama loves me.” Kara sectioned off Lydia’s hair, pulling half of it up into one ponytail and tying it off with a yellow hair tie 

“My mama loves me!” 

Kara nodded as she went to tie off the second pigtail with another hairband. “My _mommy_ loves me.” 

“Mommy loves me,” Lydia said, leaning forward and making faces in the mirror. After a second, she turned around to face Kara at the stunning revelation that Lena wasn’t there with them. “Mommy’s gotta say her ‘mations too!” 

Kara chuckled. “I can go find her,” she suggested, getting an overjoyed reaction from Lydia. 

She turned around, her heart stopping when she saw Lena standing quietly in the bathroom doorway. 

“Rao-- you almost have me a heart attack,” Kara breathed, putting a hand over her chest as it pounded much faster than it should’ve been. _Did humans experience this every time they got scared?_ She couldn’t help but wonder. It must’ve been awful if they did. 

“I’m sorry, I was just watching,” Lena said with a small smile. 

“Mommy you gotta say your ‘mations,” Lydia exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically. 

“It’s just something we like to do in the morning,” Kara said with a shrug. “You should join us, I know it sounds silly, but--”

“You _have_ to,” Lydia interrupted. 

“I… I guess I can,” Lena said, hesitantly stepping into the bathroom. She folded her arms around her stomach as if to hide from the reflection staring back at her.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at herself in the mirror and said anything positive, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever given herself affirmations the way Kara did for Lydia. The occasional times she’d heard of people doing them as a part of her daily routine, she’d been slightly intrigued. But she could never bring herself to do it on her own. She never thought she deserved it. 

“I am smart,” Kara said, grinning as she watched Lena and Lydia in the mirror.

“I am smart.” 

“I am smart.”

“I am a good friend.” Kara took Lena’s hand in her own and gave it a squeeze while she and Lydia repeated her words. She looked over at her and smiled reassuringly, running the pad of her thumb across Lena’s knuckles. 

“I am a good daughter.” 

“I’m a good daughter,” Lydia said enthusiastically. She turned around and looked up at Lena, who hadn’t said a word. “Mommy gotta say it too.”

“I am a good daughter,” Lena uttered. 

Kara beamed back at her, leaning over to place a kiss on her cheek. 

“And I am loved,” she finished, scooping up Lydia in her free arm and holding the energetic toddler on her hip.

“I am loved.” 

“I am loved.”

“You are very much loved, Lena,” Kara said, snaking her arm around Lena’s waist and pulling her close. “And you too, Lyds.” 

Lena smiled, allowing herself to rest her head on Kara’s shoulder as she continued to watch their reflections in the mirror. This time, she didn’t hate what she saw. With Kara and Lydia in the picture, she wasn’t sure that was possible. Because with them, all she could see was pure joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo i feel really bad about saying this but I need another break. idk if it's from this fic or writing in general, but the novel didn't rlly work out, I was only able to write 30k words in 18 days before I gave up and i guess I'm still burnt out from it, even though i didn't even finish, i don't really know. but i just don't like what I'm doing with this fic but i miss when i used to love it so if i find the motivation i guess I'll probably work on something else for a little while but I'm not really sure because writing just seems super unappealing rn. but thank you guys sm for sticking with me and this story, it really does mean the world, and I'm so sorry I've been so flakey lately. i wish i could be working on this story the way i used to (I'm like basically crying over it how embarrassing) and i hope i can get back to that place eventually.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara opens up to Lena about Lydia's father.   
> Trigger warning- domestic abuse and manipulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this is the shortest chapter I've ever posted it but I'm having the worst writers block with this fic so I'm sorry!!

“Lena, hey, can I… can we talk for a minute?” 

Lena nodded. She couldn’t help but let her mind race to the worst possible place at those words. Like Kara had realized she didn’t actually love her, she wanted to end things and go back to just being friends. Or maybe she was going to quit her job and tell her she never wanted to see her again. With Lena’s track record, it was bound to happen eventually. She just hadn’t thought it would’ve been so soon. 

“Yeah, is everything okay?” Lena asked with a shaky smile.

Kara nodded. She sat down on the couch, anxiously playing with her fingers, and Lena took a seat beside her. 

“So… this… I just thought since we’re together now,” Kara closed her eyes and drew in a long breath. She’d never told anyone about this before, she’d never said it out loud, not even to herself. For so long she’d told herself if she just tried hard enough to push it down and ignore it, the pain might go away, but every time something reminded her of it, it only seemed to get stronger. 

Kara used to be able to tell herself that if she just kept muddling through it might all go away. But now, someone else was in the picture. And she knew if she didn’t speak up, it would only make things harder on both of them. 

“I guess I just thought, you should probably know this.” 

Lena took Kara’s hand in her own, sensing her discomfort, and gave it a squeeze. “Kara, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.” 

Kara nodded. “No. I- I know. I want you to know this.” 

“Okay, just… stop if it’s too much.” 

Kara took another deep breath and bit down on the inside of her mouth, trying to find the right place to begin. 

“So, I’ve never really told you about Lydia’s dad,” she began after a moment. “She’s never met him and I- I haven’t seen him since before she was born. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know she exists.”

Kara swallowed the lump in her throat as she felt tears spring to her eyes. She thought she would’ve made it at least a little while longer before she started to cry, but now that she was starting to put it out there, it all seemed to come rushing back.

She didn’t even remember everything, there were entire months she’d blocked out of her memory completely. But the bits and pieces that still lingered in the dark crevices of her mind, they seemed to hit her full force. 

“But he… we dated for a few years. We were young and I…” her voice broke as the first tear began to fall. 

“Kara, love, you really don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard,” Lena said softly. “It’s okay if you’re not ready, I’ll still listen when you are.” 

“I’m fine, I’m ready.” Kara cleared her throat and used her free hand to wipe her eyes. She swallowed the lump reaching her lips, mentally preparing herself to start once more. 

“When we started dating, it-- it was really great. He was so sweet and m- my family loved him and I…” she stopped herself and looked down at her hand, still tightly holding onto Lena’s. “There were just these little things, you know? Little arguments and I- I never blamed him because I always thought I was wrong.” 

She bit her lip as another tear fell and Lena brushed her thumb over her knuckles. 

“He had a way of making me think I was wrong,” Kara added quietly. “I didn’t realize… we went on for months and he… the arguments just got worse.” 

“But he was always so apologetic after that I- I felt too guilty to leave. And I thought, maybe if I-- if I were a better girlfriend, than things would work themselves out. But he-- he’d just get  _ so _ angry,” Kara put her head in her hands as she began to cry. “J- just angry over nothing but I- it was always my fault.” 

“Kara, I’m so sorry,” Lena whispered, unsure of what else to say. “It never could’ve been your fault.” 

Kara shook her head. “So I- I tried to leave and I- I told him I couldn’t take it.” She gasped for air and ran her hands through her hair, wishing she could disappear. “But he told me if I did, he’d tell everyone about Supergirl.” 

She looked up at Lena and inhaled sharply. “He hated Supergirl… he hated how strong she was.” 

“That’s terrible.” 

Kara nodded and sniffed. “It wasn’t until I got pregnant that I…” she looked straight ahead of her, her eyes landing on the framed photo of her and Lydia, in the hospital just moments after she was born, sitting on the mantle. “I couldn’t let her grow up with him, she didn’t deserve it.” 

“You didn’t deserve it either,” Lena said softly. 

Kara cleared her throat and wiped her eyes, allowing herself to look back at Lena, who by now, was crying too. “I just… I haven’t been with anyone since him. I haven’t…” 

“It’s okay, we can go slow,” Lena reassured her. “I don’t want to hurt you o- or make you uncomfortable so we-- we’ll take it step by step and go forward together.” 

“You’re not mad?” 

Lena shook her head. “No, Kara, of course not. I just want you to be happy. You didn’t deserve  _ any _ of what he did and… and I know how hard it is to be hurt by someone who's supposed to love you. So if you need to take things slow, it’s okay, I’ll understand.” 

She placed a kind hand on Kara’s knee, opening her mouth to say something else, just as Lydia came running into the living room.

Kara quickly wiped her eyes once more and shook out her hands, plastering on a smile. “Hey muffin, what’s up?” She asked, lifting up the clearly upset toddler and holding her on her lap. 

“My tower fell!” Lydia whined, dramatically letting her head fall against Kara’s chest. “And it pinched my finger.” 

“Oh? Let me see your finger?” Kara said. 

Lydia pouted as she held up her pinky for Kara to see. 

“Here.” Kara placed a kiss on the red mark and gave her daughter a squeeze. “You want a bandaid?” 

Lydia shook her head. “No, I just hafta tell you ‘cause I got pinched.” 

Kara nodded, genuinely smiling at Lydia’s logic. It was such a simple thing, but especially now, it made her so happy that Lydia always came to her with these things. Even if it could be a nuisance to hear about it every time she bumped her thumb or stubbed her toe, it meant Lydia trusted Kara. And to Kara, that was everything.

“Okay, I’m glad you told me. You want me to help you build a new tower?” 

“Mommy hafta help too,” Lydia insisted, curling up against her mom and pointing to Lena. 

“I can help,” Lena said. 

“You know, Lyds, your mommy’s very good at building, she makes inventions and they’re super cool,” Kara said, looking over at Lena with a smile. 

“Mommy, you can invent a new tower?” 

“Whatever you want, baby girl.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i'm probably gonna be ending this too. i can't think of anymore storylines and I don't want to drag it out and ruin it so there's probably only gonna be like one or two more chapters. but if anyone has anything they want to happen or anything they wish i'd done please tell me and i'd love to incorporate it!!
> 
> also (very shameful self promo i hate myself lmao) now that this fic is ending, I'm basically putting everything I have into another fic called 'i don't know anything, but i miss you' it's not too happy but i actually kinda like it so yeah idk read it if you want but like you don't have to lol


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short but happy fucking ending!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't mind me crying in the club over the last chapter I'm FINE :,)

“Hey-- wow, uh, is she okay?” 

Lena stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of Lydia lying on the living room floor, letting out ear-splitting wails as she kicked her legs against the floor. 

Kara nodded and let out an exhausted sigh. “She’s fine. We were at the park and I told her she couldn’t eat dirt because she’d make herself sick, then we got back and she tried to lick the electrical outlet and I told her to stop, so now she thinks I’m trying to ruin her life now.” 

“Oh,” Lena said. “Is there anything I can do to help or…” 

Kara shook her head. “No, I’ll let her cry it out and I’ll talk to her when she’s calmed down.” 

“Alright,” Lena said, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “So, what are you working on?” 

“I’m making us dinner,” Kara said and grinned back at her as she opened the fridge. 

“Really?” Lena raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you cooked.” 

“Oh, I can’t.  _ But _ Alex and Maggie took Lyds to the zoo last Sunday and I spent all day watching Master Chef, so I think that now, I can pull off a romantic dinner that won’t send anyone to the hospital.” 

“No! No Mama, no ‘mantic dinner!” Lydia wailed, rolling onto her stomach and sobbing loudly. She pounded her tiny fists against the ground, screaming so hard her entire face turned bright red. 

Kara released a breath, as she wiped her hands on her jeans and made her way over to her distraught daughter. She knelt down beside Lydia and lifted her from her armpits so she could balance the toddler on her knee. 

“Lydia, you’re still gonna have your dinner too,” Kara said softly. She grabbed a tissue from off the coffee table and attempted to wipe away the snot covering her face. “You just can’t eat dirt or lick the outlets, it’s not safe. But we’ve got so much real food here, you can have that, you just can’t eat stuff that isn’t food.” 

Lydia shook her head and dramatically fell limp in Kara’s arms, throwing her head back and crying out once more. “I’m  _ never _ going to the park again!” 

“Why? Because you can’t eat dirt?” 

“Never never ever!” 

Kara just nodded and accepted Lydia’s answer, knowing with full confidence tomorrow morning Lydia would be up and ready to go to the playground at the crack of dawn. 

“Okay then, I guess we’re never ever going to the park again.” 

“Hey, Lydia, why don’t you come sit with me while your Mama makes dinner?” Lena suggested, trying to try and ease the tension. “Then you don’t even have to think about the park.”

“Yeah, do you wanna go sit with Lena?” 

“S- sit with Mommy?” Lydia hiccuped as she slowly but surely began to calm back down at the sound of Lena’s offer.

“Yeah,” Lena said. “As long as that’s okay with you, Kara.”

“Of course,” Kara said with a relieved smile. Once Lydia stopped crying, she carried her over to Lena and set her down on her lap, Lydia instantly smiling and wrapping her arms around Lena’s neck. 

“So, Kara, assuming you don’t try to poison me, what are you making?” Lena asked with a teasing grin, tickling Lydia’s belly so she wouldn’t start fussing again. 

“First of all, I’m not  _ trying _ to poison you,” Kara said, waving a wooden spoon in the air to emphasize her point. “If you were to happen to fall violently ill after eating my dinner, that would be the fault of your inferior human immune system, not my cooking skills. But if you must know, I’m making stir fry. And don’t worry, it’s vegetarian.”

“Alright, I trust you.” Lena beamed over at her, her cheeks turning bright pink. 

It had been a little over a month since she and Kara got together. After their first official date, Lena dropped Kara back off at her loft and sort of never left. Lydia woke up at the sound of them coming back and wouldn’t go back to bed unless she could sleep with both of her mommies. Every time after that, they always found an excuse for her to stay. 

_ It’s late, you should just stay here, we can drive into work together. _ Was how it started. Then there the more obscure reasonings, like  _ the dress I was planning to wear tomorrow is here, so I should probably stay tonight-- just so I don’t forget it. _ And even though Kara knew it was always just something Lena would make up to stay over another night, she’d never object. After all, she was happiest when Lena was there, why would she tell her to go? 

“Mama can tell Mommy now?” Lydia asked and wiped her eyes with her fists. 

“Uh…” Kara hesitated, dropping her spoon into the bowl. “I…” 

“I spilled the beans?” Lydia whispered, giggling as she threw her hands over her face to hide. 

“Spilled the beans about what?” Lena asked and raised an eyebrow. 

“Well… I’d planned on asking you after dinner, but I guess I can do it now,” Kara said. She looked down at her hands for a second, trying to collect her thoughts before she came out with it. It was a big thing to say, even if not much was going to be changing, it was still just as nerve-racking. She didn’t want to mess anything up, things between them had been so great, she didn’t want to be the one to throw that off. 

“There are two things actually, but I guess I can start with what Lydia’s referring to.” 

“Oh okay,” Lena said with a nod. Two things. At least one of them had to be good, right? 

“So, don’t panic, it’s a good thing-- at least, I think it is,” Kara said as if she could read Lena’s mind. 

“I never panic, I’m extremely level headed,” Lena retorted, smiling through her nerves. 

“Okay, well… you don’t have to give me an answer right now. But since you practically already live here, I was wondering if you’d want to move officially in,” Kara said with a hopeful grin. “Like, you have a drawer now, but I could give you your own spot in the closet too. And you could, you know, bring your own toothbrush instead of just using the spare. Oh-- and you’d get a permanent spot for your shoes and bag by the front door.”

“Really?” Lena asked, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. “That’s it?” 

Kara nodded. “Yeah, you don’t have to say anything and it’s fine if you don’t want to but--”

“I’d love to!” 

This time it was Kara’s turn to be shocked. “What-- like-- like for real?” 

“Yeah, of course!” Lena stood up, still holding Lydia on her hip, and walked around the table over to Kara. She snaked her arm around Kara’s waist, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her lips. “I love you and I- I love being here with you.”

“And me?” Lydia asked, leaning her head against Lena’s shoulder. 

“And you too, little miss,” Lena said with a chuckle. “I honestly couldn’t think of anything better.”

“I’m glad,” Kara said, pressing a soft kiss to Lena’s lips. “So… I hope that’ll make the other thing a little easier.” 

_ The other thing. _ Lena had been so excited she’d completely forgotten about that. 

“Should I be worried?” 

Kara shook her head. “No-- no, it’s not a bad thing. It’s about work, though.” 

“Oh.” 

Kara nodded with a nervous smile, hesitating as she rocked back and forth on her heels and tried to find the right words to break the news.

“Lena, I… I love working for you, I really do. You’re seriously the best boss I’ve ever had, and I’d be saying that even if we weren’t together. But a position for a journalist opened up at CatCo a few weeks ago.”

Lena bit her lip, she knew where this was going. 

“I didn’t think I’d get it, but I’ve always loved writing, so I just applied on a whim-- honestly, I didn’t think anything was gonna come from it,” Kara explained, smiling nervously as she tried to read Lena’s expression. “But they got back to me today and I don’t know how, but I- I got it.” 

“Wow,” Lena breathed. She looked down and took Kara’s hand in her own, absentmindedly intertwining their fingers. 

“I haven’t given them an answer yet, I have until the end of the day tomorrow. I just wanted you to know before I decided.” 

“You should do it,” Lena said, looking back up at Kara.

“What?” 

“Well, you can’t be my assistant forever. I mean, you went  _ above _ and beyond in more ways than one, but things are different now.” Lena gave her hand a squeeze and smiled, adjusting Lydia on her hip so she wouldn’t start to slip. “I want you to be happy and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Kara. As your girlfriend,  _ and _ your boss, I’m telling you, if this is what you want, you should take it.” 

“You’re… wow… you’re really happy about this?” 

“Of course I am!” Lena exclaimed. “You’re gonna be a journalist, what’s not to be happy about? And besides-- the whole working together thing would never work out in the long run. We need time apart or we’d start to resent each other.” 

Kara nodded, letting the whole thing sink in.

“I’m gonna be a journalist!” She let out a laugh and ran a hand through her hair. It was all so crazy-- she’d been trying to process it all day, but none of it felt real. Lena was moving in, she was getting the job of her dreams working under  _ the _ Cat Grant-- it had to be too good to be true. 

“Your Mama’s gonna be a bigshot reporter,” Lena said, happily bouncing Lydia up and down. 

“Por-per?” 

“We’ll work on it,” Kara said with a chuckle. She took Lydia from Lena and hugged her tightly, holding onto Lena with her other arm. “I love you guys so much.” 

Maybe it didn’t feel real yet-- she wasn’t sure if it ever would. Everything happening individually was more than she could’ve ever imagined working out for herself, and now it was all really coming together. Kara couldn’t ask for anything else, she was floating on cloud nine and her two favorite people were right there beside her. And that was all she’d ever need. Just Lena and Lydia, and she’d be set for life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS!!! Okay i can't believe it's over what the fuck I know I'm the one that wrote this but like wow I'm not okay it's really over. actually jk no-- i have two extra scenes, one a few years in the future and one that takes place a few days after this chapter, so I'm gonna do a little epilogue thing because I love them too much to leave it out. but yeah, thank you guys so much for sticking with me through this story, I appreciate you all so much. the support literally means the world and I honestly wouldn't have been able to finish this fic without it <3


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Kara and Lena being soft. That's it, that's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Screams into the void for all of eternity because I love this fic so gosh hecking much and ending it HURTSSSSS*

To say Lena had had a bad day would’ve been the understatement of the year.

She’d started by leaving her house in preparation to be fifteen minutes early for her eight am meeting, but had gotten caught in traffic bad enough she ended up being ten minutes late. Then, of course, her new assistant, who had half the competence of Kara on her brightest days ended up messing up Lena’s coffee order by giving her whole milk instead of almond and leaving her with a stomach ache all afternoon.

Everything after that was a blur until Lena left her office and as if on cue, had been catcalled by not one, but three men, who’d refused to take no for an answer and ended up following her to her car. Because clearly, that was just what she’d needed. 

Now, all Lena wanted was to do was curl up in bed with Kara, maybe indulge in some greasy take out, and call it a night.

But she had a business trip to Gotham coming up and a meeting with the board the next morning she needed to be ready for. And she was behind on  _ everything _ (well, maybe not  _ behind _ behind but she was no longer ahead, which to Lena, was an atrocity) which meant whether she liked it or not, she’d be missing sleep to catch up.

Sighing as she entered her room, Lena messily kicked off her shoes, not even bothering to aim for the closet.

“Hey, how are you feeling, love?” She asked Kara, who was sitting in bed under the covers, as she threw her blazer to the ground. She’d pick it up later if she could find the energy. 

“I’m alright, how was work?” 

It was then that Lena turned around and saw that Kara wasn’t sitting in bed alone. No-- she had a family-sized bag of cool ranch Doritos practically as big as Lydia in her lap.

“Kara, you’re getting crumbs all over the bed,” Lena whined and let out another sigh. 

“But I’m sick.”

“Solar flared doesn’t equate to being sick,” Lena objected, ignoring Kara’s pout as she took off her top and bra then tossed them both onto the ground next to her jacket. “If you were actually sick, I’d make sure you weren’t eating potato chips.” 

“But then I’d be sad, hungry,  _ and  _ sick. You really are cold, Luthor,” Kara said and shook her head disapprovingly. 

“Yeah, well sometimes the psychopathy gene just really shines through,” Lena retorted, offering a teasing smile. “But speaking of crumbs, where’s Lydia?” 

“Alex wanted a fun aunt day, so they’re at the children's museum. They should be back in about an hour.” 

“Oh, okay.” Lena slipped out of her skirt and bent over, opening the middle drawer on Kara’s dresser and beginning to rummage through it. 

Kara leaned forward and set her chips on the nightstand, stealing the tiniest peek at Lena’s thighs and the faded pink stretch marks that lined her skin. Smiling to herself as her cheeks filled with heat, Kara raised her glance, taking in the way the little pouch on the bottom of Lena’s belly fell over her underwear line.

Lena hated it. Kara often caught her staring in the mirror with her shirt lifted, poking at her stomach and saying maybe if it was just a few inches smaller. But Kara wouldn’t change it. She loved how soft Lena was, how warm she was to the touch. She loved how it felt when Lena held her and she knew without a doubt in her mind that she was home. 

Kara knew Lena didn’t get that. She knew that there was a chance she never would. But she had no problem reminding her of just how beautiful she was until maybe one day she’d start to internalize it. 

“Lena?” Kara then asked after a moment of silence. 

“Yeah?” Lena pulled one of Kara’s oversized t-shirts on over her head and turned around, no longer bothering to mask her exhaustion. 

“You seem more caffeinated than usual, is everything okay?” 

“I uh… it’s just work stuff,” Lena said.

Kara’s eyes crinkled as Lena took her spot in bed beside her, laying on her side and propping herself up with her elbow. She drummed her fingers against the mattress and chewed her bottom lip, watching for a change in Kara’s expression to try and tell whether or not she was in the mood to hear about her train wreck of a day.

“I know, it always is,” Kara said softly. “But still, are you alright?”

She smiled sadly and reached out to tuck a stray piece of Lena’s hair behind her ear. 

“I…” Lena looked down at her hands then back at Kara, taking in the way the afternoon light bounced off her icy blue eyes. “I’m back with you now so I… I’ll be fine.”

“That’s all it takes?” Kara raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s your small-town charm melting my big cold city heart,” Lena fawned, laughing as she fell back against her pillow. It didn’t make any sense at all, but there was just something about knowing she was home with Kara that made her day go from awful to not so bad. 

“And you said you hated watching those Hallmark Christmas movies with me,” Kara teased. She took Lena’s hands in hers and pulled her back up so she was sitting. Lena groaned and rolled her eyes, but of course, found her way over to Kara’s lap. With a hum of satisfaction, she then laid her head against Kara’s chest and gently pressed their hands together, releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in. 

“I think maybe I could use one right now,” Lena admitted, her voice soft and shaky as she tried to laugh through it.

Kara nodded, brushing her lips against Lena’s ear before placing a gentle kiss against her hair.

“Of course,” she whispered. “Whatever you want.” 

“I just want you.”

“Mhmm, I’m right here.” Kara moved her hands to Lena’s back. One of them held her by the shoulder blades, the other rubbing comforting circles around Lena’s spine. “Hey, maybe we could order from that pizza place you like. We can eat in bed and watch a movie and you can just relax while I tuck Lydia in.”

“That sounds nice, but Kara, the crumbs--”

“--are already everywhere. And even when you wash the sheets, they’ll come right back because we live with a toddler who's always sticky and messy,” Kara cut her off. “So let yourself eat pizza in bed, you deserve it.” 

Lena curled into Kara’s chest, closing her eyes as she thought it over. “Okay. But you’re doing laundry tomorrow.” 

“I know,” Kara said with a chuckle- she wouldn’t have expected anything else. Satisfied, she smiled and ran her fingers through Lena’s hair, breathing in the smell of her new shampoo. 

“I love you, Lena,” she whispered. She’d probably said it a million times already, but Kara didn’t care. She knew on days like today Lena sometimes needed that extra reminder. “And I love when we get to be alone like this and I get to have you all to myself.”

Lena couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face or the heat that rushed straight to her cheeks at those words. 

“I love you too, Kara,” she said and tilted her head upwards to place a kiss on her girlfriend's lips. God, she loved that word.  _ Girlfriend. _ “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” 

“You agreed to pizza in bed even though you’re mad I got crumbs everywhere?” Kara asked. She gave a cheeky smile, causing Lena to groan and roll her eyes, playfully swatting her in the shoulder for ruining the moment. 

“You’re the worst,” Lena chuckled as she cuddled back up against her. “But fine, I’ll order dinner.” 

“I love you,” Kara cooed in response. 

“Yeah yeah,” Lena mumbled. “Just hold me for five more minutes then I’ll call the place.” 

“Only five more minutes?” 

“Just… just hold me, Kara.” 

Kara nodded, slipping her arms around Lena’s waist, and leaned back against the headboard. She smiled and stroked her dark hair, finally feeling Lena relax entirely in her arms. 

“You’re my favorite person,” she whispered after a moment.

“And you’re mine,” Lena muttered back. “My absolute favorite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooooow it's over!!   
> might make a few oneshots since i do have some finished scenes that never made the final cut that I still love, but idk if i'd post them separately or as chapters to this fic. so for now, this is it! thank you guys sm for reading all the way through and for all the support, it means so much <3

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback is always appreciated <3  
> Chapter 2 will be up soon!


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